Carolina

Carolina Mar 2018

Heridas.

Ella escribia,
palabras sin sonido,
palabras que nadie leia.
Y estas la sanaban
al igual que una curita;
Cubriendo el dolor
pero humedeciendo la herida.

#dolor #heridas #tristeza

Carolina Mar 2018

Blind, deaf and stupid.

The blowing wind caresses my hair.
Its touch is like yours; almost as it wasn't there.
One thing I said I'd never do,
but here I am, since months crawling to you.
I play the pawn under a disguise with no gleam,
forgetting to love myself, forgetting I am the queen.
Love makes you blind, deaf and stupid.
And for this one I cannot blame cupid.
It's now my own choice to cry on the floor,
knowing I could be strong and just ignore.
But I wipe my tears away and decide to try once again,
aware that it'll break my heart but I don't want this to end.

#love #doubt #sadness

Carolina Mar 2018

I have waited.

I grab my phone,
no messages at all.
I look at the clock,
it works no more.
I say hello,
the replay is an echo.
I sit in silence
trying to let go.
I look down to my hand,
the bruises bleed again.

And I understand that I have waited for too long
and all I've ever known is gone.
I'm alone.

#alone #lonely #silence

Carolina Feb 2018

Fatigosa angustia inmutable.

No llego a entender porqué hay tanta tristeza dentro de mi.
Y ese ahelo por cosas que no existen aquí;
La añoranza por algo de lo cual no soy consciente
hace que la frustración sólo sea creciente.
Me pregunto si podré algún día escribir sobre algo agradable
en lugar de esta fatigosa angustia inmutable.
Pero como quienes pasan sus días esperando el final
gasto mi tiempo en automático intentando salir del espiral.
Algunas personas no nacieron para cumplir sus sueños
sin importar que tan grande y duro haya sido su empeño.
Y algunos seres sólo nacieron para morir,
no quiero creerlo pero estoy convencida de que mi única meta es partir.

#spanish #sad #death #triste #muerte

Carolina Feb 2018

Stars and birthday candles.

I still wish upon falling stars
and birthday candles
because life cannot get better
unless it's superstitious luck or magic.

#life #depressed #sadness

Carolina Feb 2018

Shall I bite my tongue.

Shall I bite my tongue not to hurt anymore
or in the coldest loneliness I will persist
and my aching soul the void will devour
and I'll be forgotten until I no longer exist.

#hurtful #love #friendship #family

Carolina Feb 2018

Happiness yet to find.

What would it take for me to feel real?
Maybe money or someone that for me would kneel.
What would make me happy?
A university degree or just chocolate toffee?
I see people finding their way and everything stays strangely in order.
Maybe I have to sign a contract or just to cross the country border.
I'd feel content if I knew how to paint, how to write or how to do a speech
or simply it would make me want to escape to a quiet beach.
My head finds places, feelings and people that seem surreal
and I watch the sweet alyssum die while I skip another meal.
A simple but terrifying question burns my mind,
will I always feel so empty even if all of it I tried?
If it is all pointless in the end, what is it then to be living?
I refuse to exist in automatic but does life have any meaning?

#life #meaning #propose #existence #questions #happiness #doubts