in all honesty
i would rather you hate me
than what you are doing now

i would rather you forget me
and pretend like you never knew me
than what you are doing now

i would rather you scream till i sob
and yell till your throat goes raw
than what you are doing now

because now you use affection as a weapon
and continue to keep my heart in possession
yet never really give me yours

you only come to me when you need something
and i can't say it's anything but crushing
knowing i'm nothing to you

what you are doing is just plain cruel
the pain you’re inflicting is utterly brutal
yes, i honestly wish you would hate me

s.s

my “best friend” does not care
and my best friend is not there

s.s

A broken face
yet the hate 
remains. 
Countless reflections-
self inflections
of pain.
Razor sharp
jagged shards-
my soul...
shattered apart
reckless heart-
no control.
But burning tears
can't hide
what I see... 
in that broken face-
the disgrace 
in me....

i have heard sorrow
in the sobs of my mother
     -a sound you can't unhear

I haven't been sleeping a lot lately

The world's been awfully rough lately

My decisions are a little

Hasty

Old friendships have long since rusted

I'm not liked and I'm never trusted

Yet I'm okay with being hated

Then at least I know where I stand

A misunderstood mind,
A heartache of mine,
My main frame covered in dust.

A good clean long overdue,
Awakening when I find you,
Helping me to vanish the rust.

I am quivering
With fear
At the little lumps
That have appeared.

And I am terrified
Of rhyming.

Death; will have us beautifully
Rotting, morphing, transforming
Into a dripping, bloodless
Enemy of life.
I've never been afraid of feeding worms
Only holding their slime encased bodies
Out of the sheer thought of hurting their
Extravagant ability to care for the earth...

A trait humans don't feel in their fingernails.

I might lose my hair
But I've been collecting dress-up wigs
Since I was a baby girl playing dolly,
Dressing as the fairy queen princess who ruled the world.
I might lose my hair,
But I'm afraid of fighting this alone.
Solitude was the perfect cup of warm tea
And a fluffy blanket on a stormy day...
and now...
And now it has me shivering out of my skin.

I have transformed since our last
Conversation.
I have grown this ever brightening light
And I am learning so much about me...
Too much perhaps...
Too much and not enough about
These two little lumps.