I love you
Three words that seem have no meaning anymore,
Thrown around like a ball,
Those three words that were once so powerful,
Now meaningless...
"I love you" he said
And the mistake I made...was believing it.
I longed for that love he said he gave me,
I believed a lie of which made myself feel whole.
Hurting myself even more in the end,
Because when he said "I was lying"
Ripped and cut my heart in half;
like a flower being picked, longing for that life it once had, to breathe and to feel free..
Gone in an instant; like it had no purpose or meaning.

Flourishing breezes pass through the air, and emanate throughout your asunder bristle stems.
Not leaving any trace; like it was never even there
Your brisk brown eyes could never compare
While the raging rapid wind hated its glide
It hid the shameful flowers which then commence to cry
Hearing the blissful silence of natures mind
I begin to realize that it is now my time
The dishonourable flowers that I know are now mine
They soon and surely begin to shine
The ageless roots forever intertwine
I know deep down in my heart that they will last a lifetime
When the trees come alive to a song sung by a bird
My ears prove to me that they'll always be heard
My subconscious takes over into an act of peace
And when their graceful songs begin to increase
I know the war inside me will now cease
So the dawn will break at last
And the moon and stars are put in the past
Along with the struggle, I tried to contain
It sill aches inside of my brain wondering if I'll ever be sane
So I breathe the fresh breeze through my heartfelt pain
Who knows if I'll ever be the same

It's quite tragic actually
because after time and time
of feeling
and being torn apart piece by piece
my brain was finally done.
Like all of my feelings have been endured and experienced
and what's even more heartbreaking is that It's like I cannot
even feel anymore.
An eternal trench in my stomach
that continuously spews and extracts an addicting
  senseless toxin
              and
  bitter venom
my heart becomes cold
and no more tears can be shed because
it's
Game over.

I was a delicate flower
Waiting to be picked
And when that day finally came,
I was happy, but only for a moment
I was watered and taken care of
But soon, forgotten
You rose me up just to rip me down
You left me to wilt and to die
Longing for that water you once gave me
Depending on you for my source of life
I strove for that happiness you once provided me with
But I was abandoned,
For a better, much nicer looking rose.

And what was the most fearful part? You questioned.
The most fearful part is not the perception of desolation
or the iniquity that consumes you.
Regardless of the emerging discomfort
of vacancy.
The most frightening part is
the
awareness,
that you have entirely
forgotten yourself.
As you lay awake and conscious
Slowly deteriorating at beginning of night,
because you have lost the capability to sleep
and you cannot even cry
because
you
don't
even
care.

If only you knew that you are absolutely extraordinary,
My Dear, you are capable of so much
You are better than those broken pieces
Unaware of the power that you contain,
You are able to take control.
So please, forgive me if I stumble and fall
You've started a fire in my soul
Passionate, Raw, and Raging
In a world full of shattered potential
and short-lived moments.
In a world that praises overlooked connections
Take A leap, A step, A chance into the uncertain.
In a sea full of people, people that just pass by in your life; never to be seen again.
Take hold of the ones you cherish and the ones who value you most, because within a blink of an eye,
Your chance could be gone, so will they, and regret will return in an instant.

In my weakest moment I went to you
you shook your head in all of the disgrace
the disappointment that we both went through
the despair was written amongst your face

here comes those nonstop voices in my ear
sadness saying 'who do you think you are'
looks like you now are on your own from here
because you could never reach that far

but during the shadow of all that shame
my heart drowns out of the enduring doubt
I’m worn of all the everlasting pain
broken down, but I am surely not out

no more lying in all the fatality
I’m finally rising in victory..

The blemished scars were eternal and the night was still gelid, I am such a miserable thing and the only thing I can attain making the same mistakes over and over again.Perhaps it was witless after all. And maybe only tears and sadness lie at the end of this uncertain path. My sorrows will still return in an instant, like the moon shown onto the surface once the clouds have vanished away.

So I close my eyes to deny the pain although my subconscious confirms its presence, I close my eyes to deny the denial but behind my eyelids I can still see, and It scorches itself into my retinas. If only you could feel the fire breathed into my lungs you’d know why the sun is afraid to shine

So I raise my torn hands to the night sky, the moon shines in its glory, concealed and calm, peace lies within the mind, becoming the perfect time to unwind. Although my heart is broken down into little words to dance around, I’m satisfied with the fireflies that whirl throughout the night sky.

There was every kind of poison circling through my body, trying to push it out of my veins, it wasn’t fair. Your secretive eyes constantly told such perfect lies, incredible they were. Filling that all-consuming void in my chest. My soul became weighed down by gravity, so here I last, longing for the stars.

Strong, the physical characteristic I thought I once was, But if all I saw was misery and suffering in others, I’d rather be flying high in the dark night sky than on the frigid and resistant ground.

There is nothing more to write about or to be spoken. The ashes are
carried into the darkened sky and I realise they are now one with the wind. Deep Down I realise what’s dead is dead and the ashes hold no comfort. So one day you will learn to appreciate the beauty of the moon because once everything’s burned down and the ashes have cooled, it will be still and quiet, perceiving that this place is now gone and there will nothing left, except the lovely and motionless moon.

As stated before, I was a delicate Rose.
Vulnerable to the first hands that were designated to pick me.
Taken advantage of within a split second.
Manipulated to the very end.
Tragic isn’t it?
You, ripping me out of my bedrock like I was nothing.
YOU ripped out my roots.
I did not realize how I did deserve to be treated.
I deserved to be watered and provided with sunlight.
Instead I was left to wilt,
Left with a single drop of water.
I was misused and abused.
I was exploited to the very end,
To the point where it was too late to realize that I couldn’t get out.
The impact you had on me,
It was so significant that it had made me hostile, fearful and frightened.
Making me believe that everyone else was just the same.
Ruining my perspective on people with intentions of ‘picking’ me.
Left hurting, left to die and left to fend for myself.
But that’s exactly what I did, I rose myself up, I made myself whole again.
Coming to the realization that I did NOT need you.
Stronger than ever before.
Wiser than ever before.
Perceiving that everything that had happen, was a lesson.
A lesson learned, knowing that I did not deserve a single drop of water,
Because this rose deserves the sun, and this rose deserves the ocean.

Terrible isn' it?
finally being made whole
the void in your chest finally filled,
feeling good for once...
until that feeling leaves,
making you believe that you are helpless,
that you can't get through life anymore without that materialistic thing,
That's where the problem lies,
finding happiness in things that might not last forever,
and that is where I went wrong
I began to feel helpless and devastated..
and there I was doing something i'd never thought I would do,
I had finally given up...

It was like an immense storm inside my head,
Gradually killing my thoughts inside my mind one by one, till nothing could be thought of anymore, like flowers; unable to revive themselves.
And the sound of everything collapsing around me, did not calm my agitation.
And the feeling of knowing that everything was falling apart right before me, only caused chaos in my empty conscious.
The anger only gathered and continued.
It was just the fact that,
My Anger
For you was so,
Deep.
Deeper than any channel that hid in the raging ocean that I call,
My Mind.
The fury that lit a fire in my soul,
I can only hope that it will reinstate the damage done, to make me feel whole once again.
And maybe one day I'll let that wrath go, but until then, it will remain, and it will endure.