I refuse to follow a trail where everyone else has
Crushed their individuality
firmly into the ground,
Silenced their hopes and dreams
so they no longer make a sound.

You do what you please,
but darling I'll blaze a trial so bright
it'll dull the suns light
And bring the trees to their knees.

It's not that I don't trust you
It's just memories of the past
Warn me not to

I write a lot about being in the passenger seat,
In cars that are beat up,
Or sometimes they're luxe.
About soft linens and and duvets like winter's best angels,
About smoking Marlboro reds on front porch steps.
About cold and blank mornings.

I write a lot about coffee shops.
Looking out the window and watching passerby's,
Feeling the sonder seep into my bones,
About the ones who smile at me,
Those I don't know,
And those I eventually get to meet.

I write about falling in love,
Getting my heart broken,
*** with strange men,
Which was only one time.  
When I felt loss in my chest and got carried away.

And so I want you to feel me the way I feel all of these things that I can't help but be so obsessed with and I don't know why.

Anger, discontent
are like a house
after work
some place where you wrap yourself
in a security blanket
of irritability

hungry for touch
but misanthropic
can't taste lust
but for the One Unobtainable
can't help her
can't detach
only recourse, lash out

Anger is like a house

On top of a stained mattress
There is no love,
just oxycodone-loading-
and memories, "Tender, please"-
take ten of these-don't fake a dose
because I am close.
I am close.
I am close to you.

I feel okay, I feel okay
Well, I don't know-I don't show.
"Wait, don't go."
I feel okay, I feel okay

We don't show, no.
"Wait, don't go."
There are only memories
of when we were young guns.
We are too true-
take your oxycodone-
and it's terrifying.

On top of a star,
"You'll go far."
I love you enough to go to L.A.-
I feel okay, I feel okay-
Take your oxycodone
to get through the day.
And kiss me goodbye
before you try
to swim through the stratosphere,
my dear-it's clear.
It's near.

"Wait, I want to say-
before I slow motion
this emotion
that starts with a commotion
in my chest-
that I love you best
and it hurts to let go,
but it's not because of you.
I didn't know.
I didn't know what to do.

And it's true,
and that's what makes it terrifying.
My world is salt,
my sluggish love.
So, take your oxycodone,
because you don't want to feel what I feel.
And you don't want to reel like I reel."

I feel okay, I feel okay
Well, I don't know-I don't show.
"Wait, don't go."
I feel okay, I feel okay

We don't show, no.
"Wait, don't go."
There are only memories
of when we were young guns.
We are too true-
take your oxycodone-
and it's terrifying.

I dip my feet into the waters of this emotion
Embrace my heart for the journey
I feel the white rapturing light enveloping me
and i am home

This love undeniable
This feeling fuels dreams
and all theses shadows are ripping at the seams

I feel like glass
and silver

All the things seen as you look over
into my eyes and mine into yours

And the rushing Pours into
My scabs and bruises
Your cuts Your sores


And all the things we can do