I write my troubled soul's journey
with hopes to feel better

Those words I've been dreading to hear,
Not boldly uttered--
But clearly, I could feel...

     Unspoken words, indeed they sear...
     Seemingly rendering you unfettered.
     Our flags mismatched in mauve and teal.

I marched my fingers, slowly,
To your cheeks down to your lips.
Touched the traces of stained tears.
From deep slumber,
You've awaken.
Eyes fluttered open.
Those eyes.
They spoke.
Those eyes.
They told me to stay---
To stay.
Away.

     I cupped your face while time froze in
     eternity...
     Locked in tender gaze as my heart dips.
     Reflected in yours were the wasted
     years...
     Felt the weight of commitment's anchor...
     Dragged over a land forsaken...
     Overladen...
     With dastardly lies...
     Tinting future skies so grey,
     But my mouth would welcome the urge to
     say,
     Of the courage long held at bay...
     This minute... This day...

Sweetly tortured by your kiss.
The pain came.
Swift.
Blinding.
Sharp.
It pierced me to where i am.
My heart shattered before it dies.

     These subtle hints you conveniently miss,
     Only hastened the end of this game...
     Time had seen our hearts set adrift...
     We are only playing,
     A broken, detuned harp...
     Withholding our conflicting wants, much
     like a dam.
     Protecting us from defeated cries...

     So let us dispense with sweet
     pleasantries.
     Let us bid farewell to the dream of our
     unified fates in one painful sigh...
Along with all our
memories.
And your words of goodbye.


iammissbrightside
**ryn

june tenth
the pale lamp in my room is flickering again,
you told me fifty three times to fix it,
i never did.

september twenty-first
every morning i drink apple juice,
you liked orange juice and always asked me to buy some,
i never did.

september twenty-fifth
wednesday: the day you were born,
once you were gone i was supposed to forget,
i never did.

october third
halloween is coming up,
you told me to dress up as captain america,
i never did.

may second
it's spring time and the flowers are hopping up from their beds, (another thing i never did)
i can't believe the world still goes on but,
i never did.

may eighteenth
i read the fifth harry potter book,
i skipped two and four; you once told me to write my own story,
i never did.

may twenty-seventh
you always laid out my meds for me on our lillypad green paper napkins,
but whenever i'd take them you'd vanish, so,
i never did.

june first
i played a mel tormé record,
you said i had a better voice than him whenever i sang along but,
i never did.

june sixth
i cried for the first time in three days,
the world felt heavier today, i tried to let it crush me but,
it never did.

june tenth
now its been,
well,
time seems a bit funny to me now a days.
but i guess its probably been two months or so,
but the calendar says four years,
but the calendar wouldn't be the first thing to lie to me in here.
but i want to let you know:

i don't have lamps now,
i only am allowed water,
they never tell me what day it is,
i haven't even seen a halloween since your absence,
the only thing close to flowers in here is the pattern on my gown,
the "library" here *****, there is a total of nine books. they are all gross romance novels,
my meds now come in a tiny paper cup four times a day,
they only play country here and thats only on music therapy days,
the world floated up
                                    up
                         ­                 up
                                             ­   and away, i assume it took you with it,

i guess it is just and fair that this happened to me,
i mean look at all the things you asked that i did not do for you,
but i asked you one thing,
and you said you'd always be with me, but,
you never did
**no one ever did