Around 10:28 on January 15, 2015
I got that call,
The call I never had thought,
Committed suicide,
Eight years of age?
You had so much to live for,
Your aunt here to morn over your death,
I have broken in less then 24 hours?
I don't want to be here without you,
Last night it made two of us not sleeping,
I know you didn't leave to hurt me,
But why didn't you just stay,
I need you here,
I love you,
I miss you,
I care for you,
I want you here,
Come back,
Don't leave me in this hell whole alone,
I miss you,
Please watch over me,
Malicah I hope you're okay?

While you were away,
My words seem to fall on deaf ears.
Unvoiced mutterings that fall out in droves,
Burning rants swallowed back in singes and sears...

While you were away,
Time was stagnant; a viscous puddle.
Hours only stretched longer,
The second hand jabbing its ferocious needle...

While you were away,
The clock drove me insane.
Ticking my life away in literal seconds.
Losing sand grain by grain...

While you were away,
And when it's all quiet and dark,
I could hear my heartbeat...
Awaiting the new day to make its mark.

While you were away,
My words seem to have lost their meaning...
As if they were stuck in limbo,
Unanswered calls that keep on ringing...

While you were away,*
I am but a little lost foal...
Because whenever you're away,
I am never whole...

"Love me better", she says
"It takes time", I say

Living this mundane life
On a quest for a wife
Its something I strive for
To walk across the beach
Holding her hand
Ever so gently
and as I watch the sunset
I look to my side and see your smiling face
I wish you could take me to that place

Thats what I want
But thats not what you want
You want someone to love you better
Someone to listen more
Someone to listen for
You want someone to love you better?
But I can only love you the way I know how

So I finally understand why you walked out of that door
Why you stopped talking
Why you stopped walking
Why you stopped holding
and as my hand drifted away from a place called home
It searched over yonder
Another place of warmth
So as it slipped into the slit in my pants
and my back hunched over
With the thoughts of you weighing me down
Making me lose my seal
which used to hold me together
My mind runs rampant
and I wish...
I wish...
I wish I could've loved you better

I grew up in a house with white walls
The light shined through the brighter
Every happy morning
In my bed beside my brother.

When my Dad first drank
Dry rot found a nest
We moved into a house with cream coloured walls,
Without my father.

I saw the cream walls turn blue
When I broke a pen on my brother
And the ink became his blood of this fight
We moved into a house with purple walls

I saw the purple walls turn grey
When we all got our own rooms
And we all chose the same colour
As we sat alone.

I moved into a house with black walls
When my life dragged me away from them
The light shone through the darker
Every unhappy morning.

My house was small
It was damp and it was dark
I heard a knock at the black door
And light came in with you.

We moved into a house with white walls
Every morning a birth of new sunlight
Every happy morning,
Waking up beside you and smiling

I don't ever drink
I keep a watch for dry rot
And our walls stay white
Forever.