I haven’t touched my suitcase since I’ve come home,
and I miss your voice so if you would pick up your phone.
I’ve noticed I’m alone here, this house is far from a home.

Cause broken bottles on the floor
is something that cant go ignored
And holes in walls from ****** fists
Just make my stomach churn and twist

And I'm tired.
Tired of this.
And I'm tired
I wasnt built to live with this.

why do i crumble
fall into pieces of
oats and sugar
something beautiful
in a white bowl, but
a mess on the floor
when i wake up
in an empty house
why do i wither like
brown leaves
under brand new and
borrowed boots atop
autumn sidewalks
when i’m alone,
i’m alone,
i’m alone
it is not enough
to eat breakfast
however small
to wash my hair with
coconut milk
to not step out into
the busy street;
i freeze before the ice
touches me
i do not allow
the chance to warm
my own hands
i lie down, on
***** sheets,
and wait for someone
anyone
anything
to awaken me

Dear child,
Don't be afraid,
When the moon
Isn't up in the sky.
He's quiet but there,
Always aware,
Watching you
with loving eyes.

Dear child,
Don't be afraid,
When the moon
Isn't by your side.
He's silent but cares
For you who's so bare
In the dark
of lonely nights.

Dear child,
Don't be afraid,
When the moon
Is out of your sight.
With distance you wonder,
Yet your heart grows fonder,
Hence do you look forward
To living every night.

I could never tell you
exactly what's going on inside my head,
so I'll write instead.
Drown my thoughts in paper & lead.
Keep my hands alive,
and my expression dead.

“Call me.”
“Ask nicely.”
“Please ******* call me.”

I don’t sleep well anymore
I need pills to help with that.
Sometimes I sleep too much
I need pills to help with that.
I think about how I’m going to die a lot
I need pills to help with that.
I worry about what I’ll do if I lose you first
I need pills to help with that.
I feel the most lonely in crowded places
With loud banter and familiar faces
I feel the most lonely in my head
The curtains blocking the sun, I’m a slave to my bed
I need pills to help with that.
And I don’t like taking them,
They make me feel less capable, and more ashamed that I cannot function happily like the others.
I need pills to help with that.
I need them but I don’t want them,
And because I don’t want them,
I don’t take them, and because I don’t take them
I take myself to the top of a building, and find peace from the thought of jumping.
Will you watch me fly like a bird, float like a feather? Let me find peace among my brain’s bad weather?
I don’t need pills to help with that.
Can you help with that?

My heart shatters into a million pieces
When i hear her ascendancy through the phone.
She does not speak to you, and yelling would be an understatement.
I can see you tremble when her name appears on your phone screen.
She’s 5’2, harmless but fiesty
But i disagree, in my eyes
She is a destructive, aggressive, poisonous
Being.
There may be glimpses of light and purity within her,
But that’s all they are.
Glimpses.
She was whole once and the world broke her, and she had the decision to
Pick up the pieces and build something better,
Or break everything in her path in the way she once broke.