We were equally matched
Until a plan was hatched
You became the subtle aggressor
By making appearances lesser
Using your passion aggression
To steer a passive direction

You perform a vanishing act
By canvassing flak
Balancing black
Against a sky so blue
Teaching me that which is true
Is different from what I knew
So my anxiety naturally grew

You launch a resistance
By remaining silent
On this plane of existence
Where you're the pilot
Not taking the right angle
Into the Bermuda Triangle
That is your social sphere
Where you disappear
From committal fear
Of love being near

So I throw a search party
But your presence is tardy
Because you're departing
On the journey you're starting
Without me
Slouching
From my submission
To your anti-admission
Splitting our position
Like nuclear fission

The air has become radioactive
Through light that is refractive
Through ways which are retractive
Living this ugly way to live
Sharpening my shiv
To escape this cell of decay
Where flowers bloom and fray
But can't see the light of day
Not one ray

Stuck in the marked moor
Of this dark war
I use parkour
To avoid aggressor attacks
Never cutting me any slack
Bringing pain back
Until I crack

Lost in your blank expression
I make a grave concession
Enslaved to your impression
Yet afraid of your aggression
Caught between
Taking heed
And fulfilling needs
Born from greed
I'll only impede

You scream aggressively
Like you're ******* me
Just by addressing me
After making a mess of me
With deafening quiet
You attack with a diet
Of a steady riot
And I won't buy it

You left when you were here
But stayed once you weren't near
You switched to a guillotine gear
Based on how you wanted to appear
Striking me from the equation
By utilizing deflation
For a sinister elation
You removed our relation

the next time
a boy tells me,
“i love you”

i will respond with
“thanks,
me too.”

I have fought fear
like a crippling boxer
sweat dripping from my nose
and the physical rumble of my knees giving out
so tired
of the continuous swings and punches
without leading to defeat
now
blood is pouring down my teeth
and my fists are bruised
what is the answer
to my crippling fear
I'm on the ground
at its mercy
is it simply

you cannot let fear get to you?

Tell them everything & don't leave out the good parts
Hell bent whispers for desperate listeners
I'm not proud of the things we did
No, it didn't work out ... we were just kids
Knowing I stand tall in courage to leave

Go on and tell them why I needed to flee
Oh, everyone is talking about me
Oh, I've kept it mute  so you wouldn't fall
Don't leave out the good parts, tell it all!

Tell them everything & in between
How you've become so mean... you've got your story & I got mine
Oh, the secrets you've told me
Uh, were a waste of my time
Good sweet lies as you said " I love you"
How do you feel now? Seeing me rise above you
Tell em how you broke my heart
Should have left but was blinded from the start

Just continuous restless nights
Knowing my decision was right

Fine lines were breaking
Unbreak my heart now that beats to a different drum
Continuous agony has made me go numb
Knowing **** well it was all affecting me

You tarnish my character just so you can look clean
Oh, after it all. I promised to never fall
Uh, at least tell them I'm a good kisser.

Think Good Thoughts! JK! *******!

it's a white dream
you ever loving me

your empty body
scares me

I don't understand the feeling

I've studied your eyes for so long
never did I find an ounce of love

I'll forever be your doll
I break and fall
when you throw me to the floor

I listen to whatever you have to say
and you brag to all your friends

I read your eyes
to try and find
I swim through your lies
deep dark nights

/ //
when I realized you didn't love me

a weight from my heart was lifted