What is going on?
First I really enjoyed doing things with other people.
And now I can't get any joy out of it.
What is going on?
First I really liked you.
But now can't find the like in you.
What is going on?
What is wrong?
I don't know.
I wont know.
I don't want to know.

I saw someone dying today.
Not the first time i've seen that but still it's shocking.

I'm a special investigation officer in the netherlands and i see alot of things most people don't see and don't want to see.

This time it was different than the others,
This time I kept thinking about it.
You're life can be over in just a few seconds.
Stand still for a moment and just think about that.
Think about everything you lose and everybody who will be sad about you passing away.

I've seen the face of the lady that died today.
She was shaking and she said to me that every memory of her life came back and she had flashbacks in split seconds.
I hope everybody stands still to appteciate life before it's over.

Rest in piece

I have yet to know a self I can call my own,
wandering through these bodies
the way one would try on clothes
but far deeper
than this analogy could ever dig,
I live with these identities.

I fall for them
the way lovers do in autumn,
keen that the coming winter
will leave me yearning
for the comfort of another,
but no sooner do the bells of spring
begin to ring in summer air
does the necessity of this comfort fade.
The temptation of sweeter fruit
hangs above me in the orchard shade
and an affluenza of potential
almost coerces me to stay.

Though no self have ever felt my own
I know within my heart, within my blood
and in my bones, more than anything
I am compelled to grow
towards entropy and complexity,
ascending, never settling at any plateau
a silverback drumming his barrel chest
and roaring into the void of the valley below
“What is next for me!”

and the answer is silence
(I should have known)

What you see is what you get they say,
But it isn't that easy nowadays,
You see beautiful girls or boys outside and all smiling and being happy,
But that's what you see, What you don't see is the inside,
The feelings, The emotions,
The happy girl isn't that happy after all,
She is cutting herself because she thinks she deserves it,
That cute boy isn't that cute after all,
He goes from girl to girl just to hurt them,
The most beautiful girl,
Isn't beautiful if you can see inside her thoughts,
The most muscled guy,
Has a tiny heart and had has been broken many times,

These are just a few examples of human beings,
Handle them with care,
I'm a boy whos heart is broken a few times,
I'm a boy who has been bullied a lot,
I'm a boy that didn't for a while eat because he was called fat everyday,
I'm a boy that didn't had a lot of friends and was just sitting in his room and feel lonely,
I'm a boy that has been hurt a lot,
Physical but also mental,
I'm a boy that didn't gave up on life and I'm a boy that tries to help everyone who I can help,

But still,
I'm the boy that is lonely,
I'm the boy that is afraid,
I'm the boy who almost killed himself,
I'm the boy who where in a big depression,
I'm the boy that don't want to be the person I where,
I'm the boy that has changed his life just before the train came,
I'm the boy that don't want to leave this world and just want to make it better,

Just smile and make anyone else happy,
It will make you happy


I'm the boy in disguise

I like us better when we're wasted,
It sounds familiar right?
But it's the truth,
When we're wasted we have alot of fun more than we're sober,
You're friendzoning me when you're sober and when we're wasted you want to kiss me and want to do things you normally don't want i hate that,
Please be yourself,
In every condition,
Don't become someone else,

Everywhere in my mind i see you,
Creeping up on me with your beautiful eyes,
So beautiful but full of lies,
In my dream i realise that you're lying all the time,
But i can't remember that when i'm awake,
I think it's fake and I say that it's just a dream,

You're like satan,
Once you where an angel and stole everyones hearts,
But now you're the most evil thing anyone has seen,

I wanna spread it to the world,
That you're a liar and a cheater,
I can understand it if you don't speak to me anymore,
And I don't even wanna.

goodbye i hope you die and will burn with satan.

when reality became dizzying
she escaped to wonderland
a figment of her own imagination
bliss fabricated by a fantasy

time passing endlessly
life moving on before her eyes
still, there she was
drifting away from reality
endlessly searching for an escape