In lonely moments
I stroll the waning memories
when love pure smiled blissfully
deep within a fawning heart

a wistful melody arises untainted
like a steaming enslaved passion
                         breathlessly released
                              unrestrained,..

         ­                          evident
                    as the pressed and dried flowers
          cuddled between life's ardent petaled pages,
                         bookmarks of the heart

                         traces of the wild bouquets
                         that often soothingly caress’d
                         the energizing tingles  
                         inflaming a tantalizing touch

                         the yearning  empty voids
                         feverishly undressed,
                         traced in the hidden sands
                         of unexplored oceans..
                        
                         though time and distance
make the bereft heart grow helplessly fonder,
memories fade softly as the summer breeze befalls,
  
                         as gentle feather’d touch
                         the evanescent sunset afterglow
                         where the earth and sky align
                         the dimming of the day

         loving can heal
the poet’s bleeding words,
loving can mend your soul ―

                         the perennial dawning of an
                         unpromised new day
                         will someday come again

        bequeathed like the bluebird’s mirthful song
to bring forth nascent wild flowers’ blossoming petals
              flourishing in the meadow of my heart


                 *Someone you used to know

C.     Escape.      my.     rage .         C
A.             its                                     A
N.                  breaking                   G
'T.    .  Out.         of.        this           E


The
animal
within
is
ready
to
win

This strife is unreal.
Take your time to conceal.

I can't see through your eyes of discontent.
What is this I am supposed to understand, but in a given universe.

Spare me the humility of your conscience.
Toss me down and **** my mind.
For you are the one I never sought.

I know how to walk alone, with no path or distant sword to guide me.
A cowardice mind drives the nails inside this infected wound around me.
Rusted and depleted.
I understand the solemn wisdom of each soul that bounces into my universe now.

I am lost in hope and dread.
For these are the remorses left to the undead raptures of time itself.
Left in a dark crypt.
It swallows me whole again.
Nothing left but dust on the floor and my desire to scream in a vacuum.

Here we are again. A place I’m all too familiar with. My bedroom. Late at night. I’m sitting here upset at something I saw on the Internet again. Or something someone said again. Here I am laying in my own sadness and depression, laying here in my own disappointment. Why is it like this every single ******* time?

I lay here and just try to fall asleep, but instead I want to fall off a cliff. But instead, I try to fall into a song. I fall face first into some deep-**** lyrics, and heart first into a melody that can move tears down cheeks and mountains both at the same time. I keep hoping that the music will take me away from here. Take me away from this information that makes me want to scream and shout and cry and ***** all at the same time in some weird, guttural image that would put Picasso out on street corners begging for eyes to gaze upon his art. But is it too much to beg for eyes to gaze upon a heart?

Maybe my heart is just lonely and needs attention. I’ve never been sure if I give it enough myself. But there’s only so much one person can do for something until it needs a second pair of eyes, a second pair of hands, a second opinion, a second dose of love. Maybe my twin size bed is keeping that second pair of eyes, that second dose of love from having any room to squeeze into my heart. Or maybe I’ve just never been good at sharing. I always eat more cookies then I should. I want the whole pizza to myself. And don’t even get me started on music selection.

I’m rambling again, but I think I’m just distracting myself from what I saw again. Or what I heard again. I’m trying to distract my mind because it doesn’t know how to process what it’s just seen, what it’s just heard.  I don’t know how to cope with being let down. I don’t know why, because I’ve been let down so much you think I’d have chosen a final resting place by now.

It’s too dark in here to see what I can do about this. So, I just do what I always do. After listening to my music, pity *******, and crying trying not to be heard, I lay down and try to rest.

Maybe I’ll fall asleep, and in the morning, it’ll all be better.

Or maybe I’ll fall asleep, and in the morning, it’ll all be over.

I’m not sure which thought is gonna help me get to sleep.

Windy blues and tortured greys, my nights are leaking into days, and over mountains cold and dreary, my bones are shaking, dry and weary.
I pray you hold your flesh close by, lest it catch the wind and fly.

I never used to believe in marriage.
I always thought that it was a silly piece of paper.
I thought that is was ridiculous that you had to sign away your life to someone in order to prove that you loved them.
But then I met you.
I now understand what it means to want to devote yourself to someone for the rest of your life.
I understand why people spend most of their life searching for something that not everyone is lucky enough to find.
Love is painful.
Love is complicated.
Love is so ******* beautiful,
And powerful.
Marriage is not just a piece of paper to me anymore.
It is a bond that you are meant to share with one person for the rest of your life.
The person that you would do anything for.
The person that you want to see every day when you wake up in the morning;
And who you want to fall asleep next to when you go to bed at night.
The person that you would die for.
Who would you die for?