I fall
away
to remain
together.
This is
my way.
To hold
my breath
before
diving deeper.
To hold
my bones
just a little
closer.
This is
how I know
I am whole.
When
I have
nowhere
else to go.
No one
else to
rely on.
I count
on my
own soul.
It might
lead me
through
the snow
and cold,
but I know
it will
always
lead me
back
home.

I wasted my time.
Drowning myself in my mind.
Rationalizing my demons.
Forgetting not to feed them.
I grew weak.
Everything inside of me started to shriek.
Like an alarm warning me, so to speak.
I was blindly running.
Bumping into everything, and my well fed demons found it funny.
Not one edge of my world was clear.
So I kept running out of fear.
I tried to find a way out.
I did everything I could.
But I lost sight of myself.
No one could save me.
I had to make a decision.
I had to finally be free.
I woke up from this dreary dream.
My demons still haunt me.
They scratch and they scream.
But I hold them prisoners.
Just as they once held me.

I must admit
That I hadn't
Thought about our song
For quite a while now
But I would never forget it

I remember you playing it for me
Your amazing voice echoing across the walls
Of that small, somewhat creepy, practice room
I remember how I could feel
This energy between us that
Fueled those lyrics' creation

You've always been a beautiful writer
I was definitely jealous when I first read it
That day we sat in the library
You were supposed to be working
But we've always made our own rules

I wish I could explain
The hurt I feel while reading our past
So clearly plastered across this bright screen
Similar to how I feel
While replaying these memories
But it's complicated
And I've always been bad with my feelings

I'm sorry I've been quiet these days
I have other poems in the works
That might better explain where I'm at
But it doesn't mean I don't care

I reread your texts a lot today
Trying to decide if it's worth it
To engage in conversation
When it just always ends the same way
My feelings and thoughts
Could never agree
So I didn't say anything back

I'm listening to that song you sent me now
I wasn't sure what you meant by it
And I'm not fond of the sound
But I feel and think of you
When I hear the lyrics

And speaking of songs
My heart basically stopped today
Because my new Spotify
Includes a playlist with depressing music
And of course it played "I've Given Up on You"
It reminds me of you undeniably
But the title means something different this time

I don't want you to think that
I've given up on you
And assume that my silence
Means that I don't care
I love you
I always will
But you're also bad for me right now

Your aggression
While possibly justifiable
Hurts my soul and
Absorbs all of the energy
That I need
To take care of myself
And others

But I am still here
I'm a phone call away
I can't say we can be friends at this moment
Because it was harder for me
Than I had thought it would be

But don't think I don't remember
And don't think I don't care
Because you're still everywhere
From the music I vibe to
And the games I can't play
But more than anywhere else
You're in my thoughts and memories
And those still torture me

You see, she rose like a forgotten dream
And I was witness to her, the loudness of a whisper
The beauty, the strength, the frailty
The fragile words that failed me
Her pale skin echoed in my mind
And since then she has never left
Not a second of her will ever leave
Her softened lips and fingertips
The most sultry of melodies

You see, she rose like a forgotten dream
The flower encased within a falling star
The soft definition, the piercing tenderness
An oasis in a desert of duress
With every eye saying the very same thing
Hearing each footstep as if they’d sing
Such wordless wonders were her everyday
Her sweet perfume littering the room
My love, my hope, my arisen dream