You're crashin' into me like waves on the coast..
Its hard not to notice..
Its hard not to be swept up..
Every time we talk, you move in close
I don't want you stop..
I feel myself become so guarded..
But its hard not to be swept up...
We've got the last two glasses in this small dive bar..
Tryin' to remember where we are..
String of white christmas lights making your eyes shine tonight...

We're buzzing like that no vacancy sign out front...
Your presence is nothing short of electric...
I'm getting scared now..
As you take my hand in yours..
you lean in and...
Your lips taste like a whiskey day dream...

Happy drunks pass us down the hallway...
We fall against the door, we fall into a wild, hot, warm, kiss...

My body fights it but I just can't enough...
You've awakened something long...
I have forgot..
To afraid to feel..
With a heart that has long forgotten how to feel...

My head is spinning trying to figure out what's right...
Do I hold on to an old love thats been holding me down...
I can't seem to let go...
But your nowhere in sight...

Santa came early this year..
He brought me you...
He brought me Christmas..

How am I suppose to spend another Christmas without you?
Watch the snow fall gently without you?
Decorate a home filled with Christmas cheer without you?
Drink cider and make snicker Doodle cookies without you?

How am I supposed to enjoy my favorite time of year without you?

No mistletoe kisses.
No cuddles by candle light.
No seeing you in my onsie.
No holiday cheer.

I wrote Santa a letter this year...
Asking for something unobtainable..
It went unanswered...
Just as I figured.

So I'll drink egg nog by the fire.
Sing holiday songs.
Eat cookies with milk.
Enjoy snow flakes on my tongue.
I'll try to enjoy a little bit of Christmas even though you're not here.


I love you.

Why is that one day I want to hate you so much...
But then I find myself thinking about you and realize that could never be true..

Why did you have to be so cruel?
Why did you have to lie about everything?
Did you really think I'd never figure everything out?
Was nothing between us real...


Why couldn't you just love me?
Why couldn't you be the man I believed you could be?
Have you really no heart?
Have you really no realness to you?
Or will you always be out there with ulterior motives?

I can only pray that one day you realize the depth of my love and how real it was.
Despite your lies..
Despite your actions..
Despite your other plans that never included me..

I only wanted to be apart of your life..
The light in your life...
But you never gave me that chance...
Or perhaps as I've thought about it..
Maybe it wasen't up to chances because as it were...
I was never one...

Maybe you'll find someone you actually love someday..
And I hope you choose her and keep choosing her until your final breath on this earth...
That's love..
And That's how I felt about you...
It was always you I chose...

Its hopeless to dream.
I find everyday that passes...
That statement bares more truth than dreaming about hopeless fantasies.

Maybe I grew up?
One could only gather.
Maybe I stopped giving a ****?
One could only ponder.
Or maybe it was the ice berg of truth that pierced through me...
Ripping my seams of dreams and love and my very naive fantasies to pieces.
One could only imagine.

Or maybe it was when..
You woke up one day...
And realized..
No one will ever love you as much as you love them.
People rarely if ever change...
Some people can't see their path of destruction... It will always be your fault...
They can never genuinely admit their wrong.
And they'll never come back
And lastly..
You accept..
Love is the scariest thing in this world and some people aren't capable of loving you as much as you love them or deserve.. No matter how much of yourself you were willing to give...
And that's just the way it is.

When I hear this song..
I picture us cruising at midnight..
Windows down..
Nothing but midnight air..
That pushes back my hair..
Not a cloud in the sky..
Just you by my side..

All my emotions are bare..
In this midnight love affair..
Your all I've ever wanted..
And...
In this moment its like our hearts smile in agreement
As you reach for my hand..

I can't help but look over at you...
As that smile warms me from the inside...
My eyes wear my hearts reflection...
as they search yours...
Is this real?
I'll ask the heavens a million times..
But until then..
I'll just go on ahead and love you...
Until the end of time....

Its going to be one of those familiar nights again...
I'm sleepy but I can't find my dream.
The one where I'm not searching..
Searching for you...

Sometimes I lie awake at night..
Hoping and praying this will all fade..
But each day and night passes..
and I still feel the same..

My dad was right you know...
When he called it a soul tie...
Its cruel really, if you think about it..
It can't be undone..

But that doesn't stop me from asking..
Those fundamental questions...

Why do I still love you?
Why do I still care?
After all you've put me through and everything you've done...
The irreversible pain you've caused me that cannot be undone.

Unfortunately for me...
These are not the questions and thoughts my heart seems to ponder..
For my mind sees everything of which my heart cannot bother.


Copyright.
of HappyEnding