A soaked sunken pillow
A floating empty head
And the usual sleepless night
Another unproductive day behind.
An overreacting heart
An uncontrollable mind
And a pair of guilty eyes.
All i own at this moment.

All those times i didn't raise my hand
And the times the words never came out.
All those times i was tested in life
And how the mind went blank every time.
All the nerves around my eyes
And all the tears it let go.
All parts of me burning
All for that unreachable peace.

A lot of regret filled scenarios
Along with a head full of fictional people
And a whole lot of futile thoughts.
All taking me a step away from
A silent and content mind frame.
Although, in spite of all this
All i yearn for is
A dream i wont regret in the morning.

You should know,
i could see right through your
web of lies.

As the waves welcomes the moon
hues of the dusk sinks into the horizon.

I sat there, feet deep in sand
watching people escape with the tide
only to be pulled back into their prosaic life.

As i feel the sand around my feet
i wish i could embed my roots and
grow here once again as a plant,
leaving everything behind.

As the urge to swim toward
the other side gets stronger
i pull my feet up from the ground
and walk away as the street lights bloom.

How many more days to pass?
Days that has been infected
by the guilt ridden
heart of mine.

How many more fortnights to pass?
How many more teardrops to fall
and wrong words to strike
until the day i thrive?

How many more disappointed sighs
and displeased faces
until the blurry future
reveals itself?

How much time did i loose
drooping away,
dreading the consequences
of my failed deeds?

Vague lies that i told myself
to ease my conscience
coming back to me
to torment my dreams.

I pity the girl that ones
avidly awaited
a blissful time ahead
without actually earning it.

Muffled screams of my past
echoing from deep down
yearning to break free
from my rotten core.

A life all to myself
and people that care
still the person i turned out to be
is not the person i wanted to be.

All the aimless days
pushed forward
all for that one moment
that will reveal what i want.

But what if that day never comes?

i wish i saw
what i see in you
in a stranger
i can chase with no regret.