I wish I could go back

The last time we spoke was on this day I sent you a text the next day.

Waited on a response nothing

So I tried again still nothing I reach out on June and you ask who it was you blocked me I have not heard from you. I guess it’s over I seen pictures of something I ask would you ever be and you lied and told me no I guess I don’t ever get the truth only lies I guess you don’t like or love me.

it hurts like hell thank you for the time that I wasted that I can’t get back.

In a blank of a eye all things can change

Life can happen different

One of us will die

Another will be given a second chance

Another one will be brought into this world

Do we went our life to end or change for the better?

Someone will win a million dollars

Someone will lose a million dollars

When your life changes at the black of a eye

How will you honestly feel?

Hurt and pain

I cry and sniffle because You and I are thru …
I walk away not looking back because my future  is bright.

When your heart can't take it can I be
The one to make it keep going I know your heart is beating fast and it hurts so much can I be the reason why it slows done and beats like it's suppose to.

Can I be all you need to make it thru when you can't take the pain let me be the cure for your hurt and fix it.

I want care

Then I don't

I want say ***** you

But I end up right back hurting myself

Because I end up saying I love you and I need you.

Then your back to abusing my heart and I just keep letting you control my emotions.

Do you care about me or do you care how you control my emotions stress me out

Make me feel less of a women because we can't seem to get this thing called love on track.

I am doing this for you
Your mind is down in out and I know your scared hell I'm scared too can we work together to take a chance on each other I know one minute you will say yes and the next you will say no

But Guess what I'm be right here until you change it back to you yes.

Did I do that?

I hurt you I broke you...

Now your done

Your all I dream

The world keeps going on by
While I'm stuck because I can't hear you or feel you my mind thinks of you 24/7 all I wanted be is up under you I can't believe your gone out of my life I would give anything to have you in my presence again come back to me your not even died you have just disappeared out of my life.

I'm scared to fall again

I have fallen in love before and I was broken too many times.

Please don't give me another Heartbreak

Dear My Heart

I miss you

I wonder I think about you

I hate I’m like this

I am so broken help it

Hi
Hello
Hey
It's me
I'm calling
I need you
Can you hear me?
Come talk to me
I love you
Goodnight my love

Stop

I can't get my self to stop

Breath

I can't get myself to breath

God

I need you to help me

Why

Do I move on?

Yes or No?

I am stuck I'm at the four ways of a stop sign

Help

Do I want help?

To the girl that hasn't healed

And keeps bleeding on the guy she doesn't

want to hurt heal or you will lose the one

You love

I can't breath I can't sleep all the way thru the night . I'm sad I miss you I hate what I did I wish I could go back but I must face forward and go away !.....

Pain is numb now you act like you don't care I don't know how to read you it's hard to read you. What's on your mind baby? Can I call you baby?

No response is a response I keep telling myself. Maybe he is done and I should be too hope needs to die out my life again. I love you or maybe I'm confused? Gosh I think am I ever gone get over this obstacle one day?

I keep dreaming about you .....

I can't stop thinking about you...

I Miss You this is so hard

I went from seeing you everyday

Too not seeing you everyday

I want to see you all the time

Why does missing someone hurt so much that is still here hurts so bad.

Is it a choice?

I don't know what to think or feel I want you and I can't have you anymore so I walk along and pray I don't feel this pain anymore.

I tried calling you like your gone pick up so I just forget you don't want hear from me. My heart is pain.

Fast Forward 2 years later

I am happy with a men that deserve me and my love. He loves me and he takes care of me and I take care of him. He asked me to marry him I said yes.

I think too myself have I healed enough to move on from my past hurt I say no. So I break off my engagement and take a trip and defined who I really am and why can't I keep it together.

He says I love you

I say I love you more

He says you can't love me more because I have always loved you .

As we begin

First you start off kissing
On my breast and slowly
Sticking your ***** in between my legs
And then went to kissing on me
You were so easy and gentle with me

I love you so much
I remember the last time we had *** you said
We are gone make love and we did
So sweet and slow you kissed on me and I loved it so.

Who do I want to love me more then me?

You I want you to love me and care for me.

You and I keep bumping heads I can't focus cause my heart is hurting and I can't stop it from beating so hard and fast.

I love you yes but it's never enough I can't stop crying cause I want us to work and I am fighting so much for a spot that I must walk away or I'm gone hurt myself.

Goodbye my friend.

Everytime you see my name light up on your
phone what do you say?

Like what the H she won't !

Or do you say it's her again?

Or do you be like leave me the f alone

Well let me tell you what I think when you see me and I get no reply:

I feel like I'm bothering you and I'm trying to hard to hear from you because I can't stop my mind from racing....

I miss you and all I want is you to tell me you miss me and you want me around I know your dealing without but do you know I can't stop thinking of you I try to move I am texting someone but I only want you

I try to ease my pain because I don't know if you will ever come back and I miss you I know upset  it's my fault.

You probably laugh and talk about me to your friends I don't know what you do I just want stop the little people in my head to stop talking to me saying negative things about you.

Or are they true about what they are saying in my head ?

Help me say something

I looked in your eyes because your eyes are the most amazing future on you.

I ask you a question but first I close my eyes I may not be the prettiest or brightest but I am asking that you pick me because I already picked you and I can't live without you I tried so hard to live without you and it hurts me everyday of my life so can we fix us together?

Does he ever dream about me ?
Does he ever remember the times we spent together it was not long all the time it was like hey how are you. Your best feature on you are your eyes I can tell they tell a story and I want know more about you this is so deep and I am this close to giving up I just want be in your presence. You were the only Guy that admit to my face that he liked me and I liked him back gosh I miss you so.

I hate when I can’t keep you out of my mind

I drive and I see you but I know your not there this is the hurt I wish I did not have to bare this pain.From clothes off naked together it was all fun and games. *** is a danger game that I can’t explain I won’t play it again I gave you something precious cause I do love you but it was never enough you fight demons and we could not be.

I tried to call your name

But you don’t even hear me

I try to text you don’t even reply

I try tell you I love you ignore

What did I ever do to be treated of this sort

We keep leaving each other I left you and then you left me guessing for months.

Then I see pictures of your new life. **** I ****** up.

Everytime I think about you I get scared

I don't want to loose you and I don't know whats going on anymore I cry and pray I pray so much God probably like baby he gone be alright.