Where clouds meet the sun
where she drifts, she drifts
no one knows
where she goes she won't say
she might say it's just for one day
it might last for one month
she can't say
but she drifts, and drifts
catching memories in silence
of your kiss
when she was held, and cherished once
when she danced under the moon
and sun...
where the clouds meet the sun
when she danced
when she was young.

White noise like white light
it's the sound I hear
when I dream at night
You greet me on angel wings
when we fly into sacred white
a sacred white that holds no sound
encompassed by holy ground
We decide which way to fly
as Stars, and Planets float on by

Slip inside my mind
But be careful of what you find
Of all the madness inside of me
I'll kiss a camera into your eyes
You won't know the truth from lies
I'll whisper voices inside your head
From the graves of ghosts long since dead
Then I'll turn the dial again
Attach a virus, and hit send
Now I'm crawling inside your skin
Infecting you with all my sins
From years, and years of centuries past
You will know my name at last
Your soul is mine to keep
and, you'll worship me while you sleep
I've kissed a camera into your eyes
I'm the snake that whispers lies
I'll make you bleed until you die
Ah, watch the sky as you spin
Jam the needle once again
Colors pointing to a door
Echo voices you've heard before
Lower, lower they let you down...
Until you smell the roses above the ground.

Sometimes, the words don’t come.

The consistent stream of consciousness, ceases.

I am left with nothing to say.

There is a beauty in the broken mind.

Like an abandoned building taken by nature.

It is not that my mind does not work.

It is that it works too fast,

And I am left behind,

Scrabbling in the dust,

Desperately seeking a connection,

In the discarded fragments of thought.

I am fighting a losing battle.

I fear the white flag will soon arise.

And signal the end.

The closed Book
Abandons words
Speaks with lonely eyes
Stores up thoughts
Inside the mind.
A private world inside.
Thinking deep
Mind mesmerized
Ticking time Bomb
Tick tock Tick tock

Could go off at anytime
The private world explodes.
The closed Book
Has been overlooked
By passers bye.
The story never told
And was never heard.

First it's the knees that let us down,
then it's our back and arms.
Next we lose our balance
and we struggle to move along.

We worry about all kinds of things,
paranoia is no ones friend.
Problems increase and multiply,
they just never seem to end.

Now our teeth start to crumble,
no longer the grinding mill.
We visit the dentist often,
as we have certain teeth to fill.

Our taste buds start to fail us
and we struggle with our sight.
We would love to go out in the evening
but we get scared when it's dark at night.

Do you remember when we were younger,
when we were in our youth?
We really were so happy,
our photos are living proof.

But now we are much older,
our youth is left in the past.
Those days we still remember,
oh if only those days would last.

LOVE AND LOVERS

by

TOD HOWARD HAWKS


Chapter 26

"I still suffer from PTSD. I take medications to help me sleep. Those bodies, all those bodies, arms, legs, bodies with no heads, old people, young men, children slaughtered, so many burnt to ashes and blackened bones by ******. Screams as loud as bombs exploding, silence louder than children laughing, a nightmare that has lasted years. And I ordered thousands and thousands and thousands of young men to their deaths, and now I cry myself to sleep. The medals, the ribbons pinned on my chest I came to detest. I have long ago burnt all my uniforms, but I cannot extinguish the horrors I planned and ordered. Love, and only love, gives my some solace. Love is my salvation, my only salvation."

Mr Ly then sat down on the sofa, wiping tears pouring down his checks. Bian and Jon sat on either side of him, holding him, hugging him. Not a word could be said. Only silence could be shared.

Finally, Bian said to her father whom she loved so much, "Father, forgive yourself. Love is the weapon against war. Killing, murdering, mutilating have been the way of human life for millennia, but now you and many others are fighting to right this wrong and bring everlasting peace to Earth."

The sun was beginning to set in Johannesburg. The three walked out on the balcony.

"After we defeated the French, I remember walking with my best friend to the beach. We threw rocks into the ocean. We were just boys having fun. We would roll up our pant legs and walk into the waves, splashing each other with our hands. We laughed. We were boys. Little did we know that we would be next, that so many who had been our childhood friends would also need to fight the fire of battle and death, that so many of them would have to perish."

The sun set below the ridge of Witwatersrand and the three walked back inside.

You might be surprised by what people read
at the kitchen table
in the evening
with dinner to the side

As for where to die?  
At the kitchen table
like my neighbor Betty—

slumped over her newspaper
arms above her white and lonely head.