For four years have I known you
From railfans to close friends
Quite the journey has it been
In the train of relationships

Thou art innocent and sweet
But when it comest to talking
Oh boy, do you set the bar high
With an expertise in four languages
At the age of just twenty-four!!

Every outing we've had
Has been nothing short of memorable
From the hurricane run
On board the famous Pune Shatabdi
To the thrilling boat ride
Through the equally famous Bhigwan Bird Sanctuary
Add a few movies in between
Not to mention, drinks *** dinner
And you have the icing on the cake

Whenever I've come to Pune
I've always felt at home
Your family being the engine
To my train of love, happiness and peace
From your mother's cooking
To your father's hospitality
Not to mention, your lavish home
With a plethora of facilities

You ain't just no friend
But a younger brother as well
Quite the honour has it been
To have you at our home
Something we should do more often
After all, we are thick as thieves

For four years have I known you
And with every year
Our bond has grown stronger
Than even the Rock of Gibraltar
Which ain't no surprise
Since we have a lot in common
Trains, cricket, movies
Food, drinks, cats
The list is endless

For four years have I known you
And our friendship is something to be cherished
As much as India winning a Cricket World Cup
Or a journey in a diesel-hauled train
Or even, Hyderabad's finest Mutton Biryani!!
I endeth on this note
Age is just a number
Even when it comest to relationships

At a time when I was held prisoner
By my shy nature
Especially when it comest to talking with girls
You put your best foot forward
In order to break the ice
Which was doing its best
To try and freeze me to death
As though I were but in Antarctica
So, I thought you my friend
Mind you, an assumption it wasn't
You called me your best friend
Not once or twice
But many a time
You even called yourself my sister
A trusting person that I am
I took you at face value
Which was probably one of the biggest mistakes
Of my life in entirety
If Australia dominated cricket
You were my dominator
Your name stands for desire
And all you desired
Was getting your way
When it comest to anything and everything
You were such a drama queen
You put the Kardashians to shame
Only your "bestest friend" escaped
From your terrifying glare
Which burnest everything in its path
Much like Lord Shiva's third eye
You were always right
We were always wrong
Again, with a notable exception
Your precious little "bestest friend"
What he saw in you
Only God knowest
Marking you absent in the attendance register
Which was but my duty
Turned out to be a crime
Fouler than ****** itself!!
How dare I mark the "Queen" absent
Even if she were indeed absent!!
How dare I support Chennai Superkings
Even if I were but from Chennai
Not to mention, a huge fan of MS Dhoni!!
East or West, North, South Or Central
Mumbai Indians were always the best
All other teams were trash
You and your whims and fancies
Driveth all of us mad
Quicker than a tracer bullet
As Ravi Shastri would say
Even to this day
But you were my best friend
Not to mention, my sister!!
So mum I kept
As would a fiercely loyal dog
Even when ignored by its master
After our college days endeth
I stayed in touch
As would every friend in the world
In particular, a best friend
But best friend you were certainly not
I can forgive even an enemy
But not a friend who cuts me off
For the flimsiest reason in the world
To you, I was wrong
Though reality speaketh otherwise
But hey, why would I want to lose my best friend?
So did I apologise
Not once or twice
But many a time
Though for the kind of response I receiveth
Might I have spoken to the wall instead!!
After ages and ages
Cometh your response
As arrogant as James Potter in his school days
You showeth me your true face
Nothing but a jumped up rich Punjabi Brahmin
Who thinkest she were the best
In not just India
But the world in its entirety
Gone was your sweet tongue
In full display was a mini Bellatrix Lestrange
Ready to **** even her best friend
As the real Bellatrix did
With her cousin Sirius Black
Well, I would rather I died
Than maintain a friendship
With a cunning ***** like yourself
You deserve not
A single true friend in the world
Not even your "bestest friend"
You smashed my self-confidence
Into a billion little pieces
Pieces that I continue to pick up
Even to this day
Something I could but have avoided
Had I not taken you up
On your offer of friendship
Which was but as fake
As the smile of a Kardashian
I endeth on this note
It is but a lesson to all
Not to get swayed by sweet tongues
Scratch beneath the surface
Then only showeth up the true character

What's life without a role model?
A Slytherin without ambition
A Hufflepuff without loyalty
A Ravenclaw without curiosity
And finally
A Gryffindor without courage

All of us have role models
Well, maybe not those poor souls
Who aim to achieve as much in their lives
As have done Bermuda
When it comest to cricket

Well, I know I will be asked
Who is my role model?
It is the one and only Harris Jayaraj
A musician who produces magic
Which sweeps you off your feet
And transports you into a whole new universe
Where all your dreams come true
And every unhappy memory of yours vanishes
With just a lazy flick of his wand
A wand that can be bested not
Even by the legendary Elder Wand

Dear Harris Sir,
You are my inspiration
The key that unlockest the door
Beyond which, lies my true potential

The sheer variety of music
Which lies in your repertoire
Doth make proud
Even a Hans Zimmer or a John Williams
Therefore, it cometh not as a surprise
That one of them is your idol

Everyone heaps a ton of praises
On your captivating melodies
Which, of course, is thoroughly well deserved
However, it is your background music
Which, according to me, is the gamechanger
Because it doth transform even the most boring movies
Into a spectacle of entertainment
Recall the famous India vs Australia Test match
At Eden Gardens, Kolkata, circa 2001
From a certain innings defeat
To a glorious victory
Was a transformation par excellence
Thanks to the sheer magic produced by three people
For whom the word "impossible"
Doth not exist in the dictionary
Thou hadst achieved the same
With a snooze fest of a movie, known as "Vaaranam Aayiram"
Thy BGMs playing the role of the Pied Piper of Hamelin
A movie that deserved to be a flop
Ended up becoming a hit
Thanks to Harris, the one man army

Dear Harris Sir,
You are my inspiration
Not because you have achieved many a success
But because you give up not
In the event of a failure
And even that has happened not
For want of trying

Dear Harris Sir,
You are my inspiration
Even if your fame has reached the mighty skies
The word "pride" doth not exist in your dictionary
Your greatness truly lies
In your sheer simplicity
Not to mention, your acute awareness
Of yours strengths and weaknesses

Dear Harris Sir,
You are an inspiration
Not only to me
But also to millions of aspiring artists
Because there is so much to learn from you
And it is not all about music
Your hard work and dedication
As well as your willingness to learn
And keep on learning
No matter how far you have progressed in life
Sets an example for all of us
I would like to end on this note
Once a Harris fan, always a Harris fan!

There was a time
When I used to be proud
Of being an Indian
However, that feels like light years ago
Since then, so many things have changed
That I wonder sometimes
If this is indeed the same country
Where I was conceived
Imagine surviving a plane crash
Only to have your face charred in such a way
That it resembles a piece of barbequed meat
And thus even your own mother fails to recognise you
That is the India of today
A democracy only in name
Where the gap between the rich and the poor
Is even wider than the river Nile
The way in which the so-called upper castes
Treat the so-called lower castes
Is even worse
Than the way in which the Nazis used to treat the Jews
Nearly a century ago
Not to mention, to insult a cow
Is considered nothing short of ******
However, harassing a woman
Especially a woman from one of the underprivileged sections of society
Is treated, in the manner in which a simple traffic violation is dealt with
That is, all you have to do; is pay a fine
And you are free to go about doing whatever you were doing
Including harassing more women
Then we come to the small matter of mental health
If you are undergoing therapy or counselling
Or if you are meeting a psychiatrist
As you pass people on the way
You might hear a lot of whispers and murmurs
Making it sound as though you were dying
Or worse, on the verge of insanity
Therefore, whenever you air your views publicly
The chances of people taking you seriously
Are even less than that of Netherlands winning this year's Men's Cricket World Cup!!
It may have been seventy-six years
Since we gained independence
However, the reality is
We are as much independent
As Salman Khan knows how to drive a car
Without killing people in the process
As I mentioned earlier, I used to be a patriot
However, when I think of India now
I feel a remarkably similar kind of shame
That I used to experience during my Engineering days
Whenever I failed in a subject
After all, when your country's international image
Takes precedence over the living conditions of your people
Then it is only a matter of time
Before you are headed down the path of the Nazis
Yes, I am an Indian
And difficult as it sounds to believe, I used to love my country
However, my love for its people
Exceeds that by thousands of miles

Your smile is like a drop of honey
Your laugh is like a Resurrection Stone
Because it can bring people back from the dead
Your voice is like one of the symphonies composed by Beethoven
If looks could ****
I would probably be dead by now
If I were to make eye contact with you, that is!
Hey, I was just kidding!!
But yes, your glare is so intense
That it can even force Lord Voldemort
To fall at your feet
And beg for mercy
Thus giving him a taste of his own medicine!!!
Your expressions keep changing
Like the colours of a chameleon
If someone were to wake you up
In the middle of the night
And force you to act
You would do it as naturally
As flying comes to Harry Potter
Yet, in spite of all the fame and glamour in your life
You are as humble as Michael Faraday
With a heart as pure as that of Goddess Sita
Again just kidding, you are as human as I am
Only infinitely more beautiful
From the outside as well as from the inside
And I am extremely thankful to you
Not only for your movies
But also for inspiring me to write better poetry
In a way that even William Wordsworth wouldn't have been able to pull off!!!

Ever since the movies "Ghajini" and "Anniyan" were released
About eighteen years ago
I was transformed
From an AR Rahman enthusiast
To a Harris Jayaraj fanatic
He is not only a music director
But also an artist par excellence
When you listen to some of his songs
Your feet begin tapping
Right from the word go
Some songs evoke a plethora of conflicting emotions
Happiness, sorrow, amazement, shock
Love, hatred, excitement, a sense of calm
And the list goes on and on
However, the best among the lot
Are undoubtedly the lilting melodies
Particularly the ones sung by Bombay Jayashri
Even the most bitter cynic
Can transform into a hopeless romantic
After listening to such gems
Then there are the "soup songs"
Every man or woman
Who has gone through a heartbreak
Or for that matter, a divorce
Derives a lot of solace from such beauties
Which have the capacity
To tug at your heartstrings
And finally
There are the "kuthu songs"
These will make you dance all night
As if there were no tomorrow
However, more than the songs
It is Harris' background music
Which transports you into a different planet altogether
Many movies which might have flopped otherwise
Have become hits
Thanks to the BGMs
Composed by this incredible gentleman
If movies can be compared with cricket
The actors are the eleven players
With the 12th man being the music composer
And when that composer is Harris
The team's victory is almost guaranteed
Dear Harris Sir, we have listened to your music
For more than two decades
It is our sincere wish and prayer
That you make a strong comeback
Like Australia did against South Africa a few days ago
After being seemingly down and out at one stage
And amaze us all once more
With the kind of magic you used to produce
During your heydays
Something that cannot be replicated
Even by Professor Dumbledore or Lord Voldemort

When I met you for the first time
It could hardly be called "love at first sight"
But I thought you were a very decent human being
Someone whom I could trust
And after meeting your family
That feeling only deepened
And once we began speaking over the phone
On an almost daily basis
I felt as though we had established some sort of understanding
Therefore, I agreed to marry you
Our engagement was a very simple affair
But I got to know your family better
And after we took you on a tour, the very next day
My emotional attachment towards you only grew
And slowly and steadily
I began to like you in the romantic sense
In fact, I even helped you financially
And it was quite a significant amount
Then we met again
For the purpose of marriage registration
I took you out on a date
And we really enjoyed each other's company
Then the pandemic struck
And things were never the same again
Our marriage was postponed indefinitely
Naturally, you were very upset
But to start ignoring me and my family completely
Was way out of line
Nevertheless, we thought you needed some space
Hence we didn't complain
However, after you started speaking to me again
I noticed a significant change
You were not as enthusiastic
As you used to be earlier
And you were free to talk only after 9 PM
These were all red flags
But my heart couldn't acknowledge that
And I thought things would eventually work out
After we finally got married
How wrong I was!
I gave you as much attention as I could
Which included watching serials along with you
Frankly speaking, I have never been a fan of Indian serials
But I made an effort, just for your sake
I even combed my hair the way you suggested
And grew a beard and moustache
Even though I usually prefer to be clean shaven
I did all this
So that we could develop a deeper bond
And more importantly, you could be happier
But did you truly care?
Every time I made an effort to start a conversation
You told me the same thing
That is, we would eventually talk more over time
Your coldness was killing me from inside
But I kept mum
Because I thought you truly cared for me
The way I cared for you
Again, how wrong I was!!
You spent more time on the phone
Than talking to me
You even had the nerve
To mock my tummy
Usually I am very sensitive about such things
But I controlled my feelings
Again, for your sake!!
You were in bed most of the time
Of course, that was understandable to a certain extent
Because you were pregnant
But to protest every time I called you for dinner
Was simply too much
Nevertheless, I truly loved you
Hence, I made excuses for you
From time to time
Even after the shocking results of the ultrasound test
I believed that you were innocent
And that you were being discriminated against
On the basis of class and caste
When my best friend tried to open my eyes
To the hard and cold reality
That lay before me
You got super possessive
And forced me to stop talking to her
Meanwhile, your best friend tried to brainwash me
As to your innocence
And both of you did your very best
To try and turn me against my family
Because of you, I was trapped in a prison
And had no idea how to escape
Until you finally admitted your wrongdoings
But you still had the nerve
To ask us to take you back
After all that you did
And, worst of all, you lied about me
To my mother and my best friend
And played the victim card
I loved you and you betrayed me
But that is only the tip of the iceberg
You took advantage of my autism
And manipulated me in such a manner
That it destroyed my self-confidence
I was in a state of depression
For more than a month
And had to go through a rather painful divorce process
During which, you played not only the victim card
But also the caste card
And on top of that
Your cunning lawyer tried to deceive you
In order to obtain a truckload of cash
And it was us who set things right
By convincing you to go for mutual consent
Nevertheless, we still had to pay you four lakhs
On "humanitarian" grounds
And you never returned the jewels we gave you
Anyway, you may now be leading a normal life
Like any other person
Who knows, you might even have got married again
There is absolutely nothing to stop you
From telling people a pack of lies about our divorce
However, as long as I live
I can never forgive you
For using me the way you did
And throwing my love back on my face
There is a famous quote
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"
Well, it applies to men too
Especially me