No special card, no brand new bill
No waiting to make the phone call.
Too much time on my hands today
Too many thoughts around me.

Mothers Day.  My Mommie’s gone.
Now I’m the Mama of this family.
Why do I feel such a little girl,
My emotional shoelaces untied and tripping me.

Amazed at why we do what we do,
I knew one day I’d live to regret it-
The Sundays just too busy to call,
The failure to find a moment for writing.

That time is now, and I’m battered with guilt
I can’t seem to talk myself out of.
If only I knew she’s forgiven my lapses
Maybe the punishment finally could end.

I   dropped everything and flew to her side
When death took her husband of just a few years,
Again when the ****** who lived up the street
Almost succeeded in killing her soul.

It’s the everyday thoughtfulness where I fell down,
The “Hi!  How are you - nothing’s much new.”
Not finding a way to be there twice a year
Instead of every other, that made me a failure.

Not a day passes that I don’t think on her
Though many had done so while she was alive.
I look on her picture in longing and sorrow
And hope that she know I now see what I’ve lost.

yeah I'm fine, why do you ask?
is it because you miss me,
or do you miss me missing you?
is it because you still love me,
or are you afraid I'm starting to not love you,    anymore?

I saw not the moon

She loved me never

Lumpen rock

I saw not.

The moon and how
High out of song
She shrilled-

The lying moon

I realized
The truth hides behind the beauty of lies

Where's a soft, safe place to land
In a desperate hour
When you find you cannot stand
And you're a mighty tower?

Where's a shoulder you can cry on
When you're the one who's tough?
Where's the place where
you can go
When you have had enough?

Where is God at times
When you are like an owl?
When you're in the 18th round
And want to toss the towel?

Sometimes I just feel this way!
Sometimes it's just hard!
It seems folks want to lean on me
When I'm a house of cards!

I know that God is closest
When He seems far away
I know that in my intellect
But it doesn't feel that way!

So I'll put on praises
To music I bequeath
Sing to my Lord and Savior
Though through gritted teeth!

I will read the Psalms
About David's many trials
HE didn't always dance a jig.
HE didn't always smile!

I'm not going to sell you stuff
You don't want to buy
I'm not gonna tell a tale
I'm not going to die, but
Sometimes *I NEED A SHOULDER

Upon which to lie!

I'm burning,
Yet i feel alive,
Consumed within,
These feelings that i have,

I'm drowning,
In the pool of your love,
Yet enjoying,
Every wave that comes,

I'm falling,
In this bottomless pit,
Yet I feel safe,
Because you are with me,

I'm burning,
And you are the flame in my mind,
To me its a blessing,
To even call you mine,