Don't do that, babe,
don't tell me I'm not trying.

I swam through 12 oceans and drowned
in every single one of them but
each time the water swept into my lungs
and the fish started swimming
in my bloodstream.

I spat it all up and went on swimming
'cause I know I can't face another day
without you in my mind.

There will be no life rafts
and I will definitely not pop in the middle of the ocean
like murdered bodies in crime scenes.

I am a ****** sinking ship.

I promise you
I will make it to shore alive, though.

I've had enough
Life's too difficult,
A little too rough.
Trying to find a way out
Can't find an exit.

Where's the sortie?
Ausgang salida,
Выход uscita.
Help me find the utgang!

Feeling trapped,
As people worldwide do.
I've been told before
"This is no place for you!"

I've finally listened,
It's time leave.
Friends tried to warn me,
Oh I was so naive.

Don't tell me I'll be ok
Don't tell me it'll all work out
This isn't worth it all.
It'll be so much easier if I could find the exit.

I'm with my son right now,
He's trapped me in a ball pit,
And I can't find a way out!
What did you think I was talking about?

Cheer up everyone!



Yes I speak Russian
(A little)

Let me kiss lips that are like ember
Let them smother me like smoke
Let them fill me like air

Let me wrap my arms around you like a ribbon
Let them hold you like clouds
Let them bind you like string

Let me love you like infinite stars
Let it intertwine us like lace
Let it shower us like pouring rain

I used to dream of being drowned because it tasted a lot like freedom. whenever i closed my eyes, i pictured my own funeral, with less people coming than i expected. busy traffic was my favorite thing because i could imagine myself stepping on the asphalt-covered road and pretend that i didn't see the truck coming. oh dear, i would love to live in an abandoned building just to befriend the ghosts and the lost memories.

but now i wake up with the little voice in my head telling me that it won't be that bad, that i can go through another day without tearing off my skin. i dress up and i still hate the view in the mirror but i feel the butterflies in my stomach when you show up at my door at 6 am. i love how your hands don't quite fit mine yet we still hold them together ((it makes me feel safe)). when i am given the numbers of history essay to finish and economy project to do, i cringe but i don't ***** like i used to. i only cry at midnight or when i remember all the things i used to love and hate at the same time. i really like the nighttime now, because the dark sky reminds me of the past and the glowing moon reminds me of my hope for the future.

your lips taste like darkness and something inevitable;

i think i'm getting better now.