It's been 2 years
Thinking about it now,  I can hardly believe it was real
I was drowning inside with pain: while on the outside I was drowning in tears.
My emotions were eating me alive... all i knew was I no longer wanted to feel.
After another family argument I rushed up stairs to the bedrooms
quickly I grabbed the first orange bottle of pills I could find in my aunts room.
Hiding beside my bed with my sister in the room unaware
Desperate for death I force all the pills down my throat.
Once the deed is done , my aunt calls us down to talk
during her lecture, I start to wobble
she asks if I took something but I insist I didn't and that I was just tired.
After a while she realizes what I have done..
though unlike most she found it funny and recorded it on her phone
Finally once I stop responding to things she calls the police...
only one officer showed up
realizing the situation wasn't a joke he gets back-up and medics
I am rushed to the local hospital.. then moved to a more advanced one
As the  doctors and nurses try to save me
I continuously rip out my IV's refusing to live

They are able to put me down.
I wake up 3 days later with dry blood on me and cry because all I wanted was to die .. and I failed.

Believe in your dreams
Believe what can come
Live your life
But don't live alone
For every woman a man is out there
For every man a woman who cares
Open your heart and open your mind
That person is out there, that person you'll find

No matter
How I try
My words
remain hollow,
Painful
To swallow
Vacant
Upon
my tongue.
Buried
In my
tombstone
Skull,
I'm further
from you
Still.
Ain't got no motive
Ain't got no friends
Unsure of my
own
Intent
Is this worth
my time?
Alone
By design,
I'll
remain
Forever,
Distant.