Down the rabbit hole I went
With the curiosity of a cat
I followed you
When you saw me you ran
Ran so fast it took me a long time to catch up
Along the way I met many people
Most of them crazy
But some of them kind
They helped me get to you
So now all is fine
You then led me astray
Left me to the judgement of a queen
And I’m not sure how I’ll plead
But only time can tell if I’ll flee

Im so far down the rabbit hole
I don’t know what to do
I came here after you
I don’t know how to leave
Maybe one day I’ll get out
But for now I’ll stay
In here and locked away

The feelings changed
From curiosity of you
To ever lasting pain causing a great strife
My heart hurts along with my head
I made bad choices in my head
If I wasn’t so curious in the first place
I wouldn’t be stuck here down in the rabbit hole

I want to be content with where I am
To be sure I've done all that I can
Yet I want to find hope that tomorrow 
won't be filled with as much sorrow 
That all that has brought me pain
Will soon bring forth some gain
That the sun will shine on brighter days 
And I will one day be home to stay.
I love her, I love her dearly 
Someday, one day she'll see it clearly.

1/1/14

I lied every time I said I'd never leave 
Then again so did she
But now she's happier without me
And I'm still struggling to find a reason.
A reason to live, a reason to smile,
A reason to find hope for at least a short while.

But her love for me has died, 
my hope dying with it.
And believe me I have tried,
To take life and just live it.

Yet how can I without any hope
See without her I just can't cope.
I tried to move on but to no avail, 
Can't make it to shore without wind in the sail.

Now I'm stranded at sea
 alone and in pain
While she trades her love for me
With a feeling of disdain.

I wish I could go back, 
I wish I could change,
Change all the facts
Before becoming estranged.

I'm separated from life 
With nowhere to go.
Suffering in strife 
If she could just know.

But I know there's not a chance 
In changing her mind 
I can try to make recompense 
But I'll just waste my time.

So time I do waste,
Since there's nothing else I can do
But I must make haste
As she's already found someone new.

Yet I don't even know if that's the case
None of it could be real, it could all be lies,
This all started with a rumor in the first place
To come across another should be no surprise.

How shall I keep living everyday like I'm uncertain
Of what I will find sitting behind the curtain
It will never be pleasant only full of pain,
I can't see any way out where I get to gain.

Will I ever find out, will I ever move on
Or will I continue to find doubt in each new coming dawn?
For though sunrise is so beautiful it just reminds me about her
No, I think I'll keep on holding, yes of that I'm pretty sure.

I will remain loyal to her when to me she is not
And remember all the times she has so easily forgot.
Why does the "right thing" seem to be so wrong?
By the time I change my mind will it have been too long?

5/26/14

I knew I was in love with you
the night I sobbed because
you were so far away
and I couldn't run to your
arms when I was hurting.

And it miserable

How beautiful are you
that strings are
pressed by your
bony fingers
and a sound
becomes a
song-
your lanky arms, a
carriage
formed for pushing,
pulling a choir
out of  silent
moments, sitting in a
quiet room-
there's something tragic about
you.

If you're to
hold onto
anything  other than
me,
let it be
birdsong and
ringing.

There's something missing in my life.
I can feel the overpowering ache in my chest.
Numbing only around you,
But I long for so much more.
Your smile warms my heart,
And your hands heal my scars.
Your lips kiss my soul,
And speak with it so calmly.
Taking away my pain,
Giving me more than I've hoped for.
Your perfection is calling my name,
And luring me in deeper.
I never lasted a chance,
I was gone from that first smile.
And that very first kiss,
Swept me too far off my feet.
But your arms are my safe haven,
And I'll sleep in them every night.