Always message me if you ever need anything, advice, a friend, someone to rant to, anything at all, please message me!!
I've been through a lot of stuff so I'll be able to help you with a lot of stuff.
I will usually answer very quickly, within a few minutes.
I love all of you, even if I've never met you or read your poems <3

I am scared.
Of everything.
I am scared that the people that have been there for me in the past will not be there for me when I need them most.
I am scared that maybe I won't graduate.
That I won't go to college.
I'm scared that I might actually go to college but then I won't know what to do.
I'm scared that I am not aiming for the right degree.
I'm scared that I will get the right degree and get my dream job but then I won't like it.
I'm scared that I am too focused on my future that I will look back on my past and realize that I didn't do anything with it.
I'm scared that I am wasting my time trying to become something for the possibly that I might become nothing.
I am scared to move.
I am scared to get out of this town and get lost in a big city with no one to run to.
I am scared to stay here and this be the only place I will ever know.
I am scared of my genetics.
I am scared to have kids and have them suffer because they will have some hereditary disease that I can't watch them live through.
I am scared that I will never become a mother because of my fear of being a failure.
I am scared that these fears mean nothing but I am obsessing over them anyways.
I am scared of having a reason to be scared...
And that scares me.

Eyes are the gateway to the soul.
I used to be able to look into someone's eyes and see happiness, everyone was always so happy.
Few people would ever look sad, their eyes would show flashbacks of pain and doubt, always hurt by the past.
I used to look in the mirror and laugh because I would watch my memories dance around my eyes and bring me joy.
But then reality kicked in.
I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror.
Now when I look at myself, it's like I fade to black and white.
I am dragged into my soul and drown by my memories.
I am tortured by what has happened to me and what has happened to the people around me, I am suffocated by the reality of the world and the brutality of people.
I am scared to keep eye contact with people because I don't want them to be dragged into the darkness of my memories.
I don't want them to see the things I won't tell them.
There are only a few times when I can hold eye contact, and that's when someone understands.
I meet my friends eyes and I can see their hurt, our memories comfort each other saying "you're not alone".