Life has become stale
Stagnant like pond water
Gathering the filth of the year
I swim like a fish in circles
While the dirt floats above
Like a cloudy day in summer
I'm warm but heavy in the sun
I can't seem to leave this place
That weighs so heavy on my chest
I breathe as if I were dead
Barely gathering any air in my lungs
This year has been so strange
A foreign yet familiar time
Like an old friend
That holds heartbreaking memories
While feeling like a warm hug
My bones have been withering
Through all these days that pass
I am lost within the light
I am buried in my present
While I'm living in the past
My eyes have sunken into themselves
And my body is tired
Like a worn out veteran
Eating from the garbage
On the streets we silently walk
I am invisible to them all
Yet I see everything before my eyes
And so I continue to wander
In this mirage that has been painted
By the fear that I created
I am the one you hope to leave behind
The very thing you should never know
Farewell to my friends I haven't met

The first time I kissed a girl her tongue was coated in morphine and I’ve been chasing that high ever since. I tried to replace it by soaking my brain with prescriptions: codeine, dextromethorphan, etc.

A chemical storm raging in my brain; a storm that’s aftermath is present to this day. I still feel the bugs under my skin at night, sometimes the room spins and I remember the revelations I had.

the one most prominent being that this is Hell, that there is no place better or worse than earth, we are in an actual living Hell and that comforts me just as much as it kills me.

late at night
when the dextromethorphan
turns on me
I can't get your name out of my head

What is a connection?
Something that binds - intertwines two souls together - for reasons unknown

Is it considered fate to feel connected to another person, another heart?
Another person's passions, fears, scars, cuts, and bruises?

What is considered a connection?
It is formed through words - touch?

What is considered a strong connection?
A binding, comfortable, mysterious, longing connection?

It must be a fate thing

Their love was like sparkle,
Enclosed in a strong glass jar,
With straps tied around it's head,
To have it saved and delicately spared.
Their eyes empowering the deepest flecks of care,
A gaze so tight, no force could interrept.
Their bodies together, were artistic,
Picturesque and parallel.
They breathed, to inhale the scent of each other's existence.
Their hands intertwining, agonizingly slow,
Feeling the lines and contours of their palms.
They didn't speak much,
A similarity in the flow of thoughts got their minds aquainted.
Their love was like paint.
Colorful,
Always ready to trace towards the dry canvas and fill the blankness.
They didn't love to show,
Their love was the only thing that resonated through their hearts.
Heartwarming, young and inseparable,
Their love was like the smell of books, whether old or new,
But always soothing.
Their love was what true love is drawn of.

               ~kc
                4.1.16