Please, please, please,

be with someone who will buy you all of the hydrangeas off the shelves, who will wrap each bouquet with her naked hands.

Be with someone who will go to the moon for you, who will risk vertigo & seasick to bring you out to sea.

Be with someone who will buy you air tickets for every occasion, be in love in every city with you and romance you till 70.

Be with someone whose soul and heart will ache for you, Who will embrace you & accept you for all your flaws that they see stars within them.

Please, find someone who will name your Daughter after you ;because you are the most beautiful.

Please, be with someone that will carry you when you are weary, when you are sick, even when all she had, was spine full of injuries.

Please be with someone who understands, who has a soft heart. Who understands ego is lesser than, us, than, pride.

Lastly, be with someone who has the ability, stability to give you all the above.  

That I never did and never will.

It's not the kind of sadness which makes you want to cry all the time,
But the kind of sadness that overwhelms your senses so much,
You began to question your sanity
You lost touch with all your emotions.

Venlafaxine in the day
A little white pill,
Promising you no more break downs.

Sertraline in the evening
Two little blue pills,
Selling you dopamine and fake smiles.

Quetiapine in the night
Three little pink pills,
Swearing that you'll be in control.

Those lies they feed you
False hope sold in crazy little pills,
I still clutch the bottle of gas
Dreaming of normalcy,
Cradling a razor blade on broken skin
I smile like a fool.