It could have been different.
Don't you think?

If we never lived.
The lives we did.

If fate didn't have other plans.
If death didn't take a vacation.
If one thing changed our direction.

We could be indescribable.
We could be unrecognizable.

Trapped in another time.
Destined to never meet.

It could have been different.
Somehow we could have changed.

Never be who we were meant to.
Doomed to forever stay the same.

Fate is funny like that.
Still we wonder.

Only in another life.
Things would be better.

you saw it too right, right?
it stands there in the corner
carrying every burden that dwells within your body but doesn’t want to leave it
that thing in the corner
it presents your fears, guilt, and trauma
it’ll whisper about conflicts that will never leave your mind that’ll linger in the back of your thoughts
if you were to stare at it for a while
it might go away
but then it will resurface at the worst time
it can take so many forms as it manifests
sorrow, emptiness, that deep emotion that weeps inside your chest
that thing will continue to lurk in the background within the depths of your life
If you want to take it head on into a battle
and take that step forward
you’ll only be filled with reminders of what haunts your mind when taking a few steps
within that time you’ll start to rethink that maybe making peace with it will just be elusive
but I believe you can do it
you see it, don’t you?
it sits in the corner waiting for you
take those few steps forward
and look at it in the eyes
even if looks daunting and morbid
you can’t let it strangle you with the hands of your past
it may be struggling for you but confront it is the only way to reclaim your control
gain back that sense of peace that was lost
you know that it’s there, right?
so face it

it's just a bitter pill to swallow
one that should fix my mind
one that should make me happy
one that should make me kind

it's just 150 MLs of drugs
to put you to sleep
we've prescribed these pills
so that none of your problems leak

it's just a pill case that's bursting at the seams
no problem, no sweat
these pills are supposed to make me see nothing but smiley faces
but i still feel nothing but dread

if the prescription doesn't work
should we up the dose
or should we stop
because my mental health is a budding rose
making me want to drop

the pills have stopped working
well, i guess they never did
but i don't want to concern the doctors
so it's always something i've hid

pretend i'm doing okay
say that i feel fine
they write it down in their little note pad
i hope they don't know that i'm lying
i hope they don't know that i'm crying
i hope they don't know that i'm dying
every second i'm alive

if they could read my thoughts
would they send me to the hospital for the second time?
because if they do
i'll stay silent...
like a mime

no words
just like last time
running out of rhymes
so i guess i won't speak
poetry is how i talk

today
i was changing after PE
(in the girls locker room, of course.)
too scared to come out to the school.
i was changing out of the blueberry colored sweatpants
when a girl commented
"how did you get those cuts?"
"do you have a cat or something?"
and i just stood there
like a rabbit
hoping
that if i freeze
they won't be able to see me
they ask me if i'm okay
...
i ran away

i know
that i have problems
but i think that they're starting
to turn into issues

every time I passed you in the hallways
and we lock eyes together
my pupils will grow bigger ten times more
but your pupils will stay the same
now when I bump into you
my pupils will dilate a bit
but your pupils will stay the same
before I was blinded with delusion
and now I finally snapped back into reality
I found out who you really are
so, when we met again
my pupils will shrink ten times more
but your pupils will stay the same

Do you remember the first time we met?
you probably haven’t but that’s alright
before we were strangers
we didn’t know anything about each other
and yet we lived in two separate worlds
It’s only when we started to have quick glances at each other when we crossed paths
is when our worlds collided into one big universe
first it was quick glances
then holding eye contact for a while
to then small talk that’ll last for a few minutes
and then finally we started walking the same direction and talking about anything that can keep us entertained for one another
but now we started to grow distant
and I really don’t know why
we used to be on the same path
but now we’re forced to take different directions
we still take quick glances at each other still
but I feel as our universe is starting to separate over time
and the only thing left now
is a nebula
and a supernova

Crying *****
but waiting to cry is the worse
my eyes will water up so quickly
and my mind will force me to wait
till my tears pour down my face
it’s like when you’re a little kid
and you’re watching the bubbles
rising up from the bathtub
and you’re just waiting for the bubbles to hit your chin and pop
But now when I try to contain myself
hold in my tears so they won’t explode
I can feel the tears wrapping around my lungs
strangling my throat tightly enough
so I can’t gasp for air
and even if I were to hold them in
for the entire day
When I finally reach to my bed
the tears will flow down my pillow
down to my bed sheets
then it’ll reach the floor
and my tears will fill up my room
slowly until it reaches my chin
but there is no bubbles when it happens
so I won’t hear a pop sound
but the sound of agony will echo
around my room
like a drained symphony

The worst part of crying in your bed
is not waking up seeing tears stains on your newly soaked up pillow
but rather going to the nearest mirror
and seeing tear burns appear again
when you thought they were gone for good