a year as passed and i stopped taking stuff to numb myself as i wish to know the things which surrounds me for as sharp they are. i don't wander anymore into a delusional melatonin-induced fever, i could see every shard of glass as i lay my bare feet on the road i have never designed to myself. i lost and i keep losing, everything i have now is hazy and confused and never calls me by my name. you called and you called but i only hear you if you speak backwards.

thanks for not having kissed me that night --- i felt on my skin you were craving to intertwine our lips but trust me: it would have been like kissing something as cold as a tombstone.
i felt your heartbeat loud and clear but i'm more distant than a wedding ring thrown into the sea, i'm lost and you would need a lot of breath just to catch a glimpse of what i used to be.
i felt your warmth too, right now i feel more comfortable in my darkness,  heat and light scare me a lot like everything else temporary.
so thank you for not letting me hurt you.

you met me in the most vulnerable moment of my life, i was split open, warm, bleeding on the concrete. you were perfectly aware i was a bundle of pain and fear, a creature caught in a bear trap, ready to chew its own leg to escape. i consider you more or less as my second car crash.
that one time you asked me if i felt safe with you i lied and said yes, but i really should have listened to the real answer, hidden in my stomach between all the caffeine and progesteron i needed to took for keeping myself sane... i should have said:
*absolutely not, i will reach out the door of your home as soon as possible and just keep on walking towards mine and never look back because i foretell you will tear up the fragments of my heart and just spit on them and and and *
i just said yes but i lied.
i just said yes but i lied.
i just said yes but i lied.
now i know it was all fake, i forced myself to ingest plastic and to pretend it was cake. i let you inject silicone into my heart and i started to think that was good to me, that was love, that was caring for me... but it wasn't -- it was just a sad and not so well done imitation of a real feeling which would have unlocked the doors to my body, your ultimate goal.
i was already dying and you gave me the final stab.
i hope you will never sleep again until i forgive you.
it won't happen very soon.

** cercato di mettere insieme i pezzi del puzzle, ** raccolto ininterrottamente tutti quei pezzi di vetro e chiodi arrugginiti che  insieme formano un risultato miserabile ma finalmente onesto, almeno alle apparenze, quel tanto che basta a quietare parzialmente quel bisogno di cercare le tracce nel fango per potersi ritrovare sul giusto percorso.
sento le mani sporche e il cuore meno pesante di prima, non sono felice ma posso crogiolarmi in quella sensazione di vittoria amara del sapere di aver avuto sempre ragione, una corona senza alcun valore.
la lingua va a cercare perennemente il punto doloroso della bocca, stuzzicandolo, ed è così che continuo a riaprire vecchie ferite di cui non mi sono mai mai dimenticata.

i am 100% sure you are an angel when I found a white feather on me after having ***

I've got flowers on my tongue
20:14 - 1 gen 2012

kiss me deadly
17:38 - 5 gen 2012

I'm going to wrap your coffin with a pink bow*
22:37 - 6 gen 2012

Selling your tears as a parfume
21:18 - 23 ott 2011

kiss me like a stranger
18:44 - 24 ott 2011

I'm the queen of the lambs
18:57 - 24 ott 2011

i'm made of rotten sugar
16:49 - 27 ott 2011

I hate you
17:18 - 7 nov 2011

Loneliness and other stuff like this
22:15 - 7 nov 2011

spiders > people
14:47 - 13 nov 2011

Too weird to have friends
19:47 - 14 nov 2011

*******
19:25 - 15 nov 2011

I was Mary's little lamb in front of the slaughter
19:45 - 28 nov 2011

Please send me your dead roses&broken; keys, I collect them
19:30 - 12 dic 2011

So maybe you could **** me off in one of your songs?*
21:01 - 12 dic 2011