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456 · Mar 2015
not real
tiaamaariaa Mar 2015
not real
What is it like to feel like your whole life is a dream?
What is it like to not feel anything?
What is like to think your family and friends aren't real?
It feels like everything has been ****** away from you
It feels like you have no control over anything anymore
It feels like  nothing exists.
-te
#dream #life
Continue reading...
454 · Oct 2014
Love cures all
tiaamaariaa Oct 2014
Love cures all
They say love cures all
The heart and soul come together
What they don't know is that sometimes we fall
And the pieces come crashing down like a feather
The heart breaks like a piece of glass
Breaking away into tiny shards
The soul vanishes into gas
Spreading over many yards
Leaves the person stuck
Not knowing what to do
Feeling like they are out of luck
Has them feeling very blue
They say love cures all
Once the person has broken down their wall
-te
#love
Continue reading...
449 · Jul 2013
worst mood ever
tiaamaariaa Jul 2013
worst mood ever
why is my breathing so heavy
and my stomach in pain
why do I feel nauseous
and not feel sane.
my body so weak
its so hard to move
-te
worst. mood. ever.
Continue reading...
447 · Dec 2015
shadows
tiaamaariaa Dec 2015
shadows
I turn and all I see are shadows
Shadows of people
Shadows of monsters
Shadows of things I don't want to see
It hurts
They are coming
They are creeping up
They are clawing to get onto me
Into my head
They are trying to destroy me
I know what they want
They want to hurt me
They want to see me suffer
These shadows are vicious
They have a mind of their own
I look forward
Close my eyes and whisper to myself
"They can't destroy me. They can't hurt me. They can't see me suffer. Because I've already destroyed myself."
-te
haven't wrote in a long time. I kind of rambled on. Not even sure what I was trying to say.
#sad #life #shadows
Continue reading...
447 · Oct 2014
Does love overpower when..
tiaamaariaa Oct 2014
Does love overpower when..
My eyes lit up like an entire city when you walked through those doors
I have never seen someone so amazing before
I could not believe that I was all yours
I knew I couldn't lose you because we had swore.
To have and to hold each other's hands
Through thick and thin and all of it within
We have been brought together with these metal bands
But back to reality, I realized my life took a spin
There was no more " I love you" at night
While I laid there alone waiting
I was hoping to wake up and your face be in my sight.
Because this whole time I've been debating
Does love overpower
When it isn't right anymore
-te
Not sure what I was writing about
#love #sad #life
Continue reading...
444 · Jul 2013
why do I still miss you?
tiaamaariaa Jul 2013
why do I still miss you?
its been over a year
why do I still miss you?
I know you don't care about me at all
why do I still miss you?
you have moved on, I have too
why do I still miss you?
maybe it was the way we understood each other
or the way I could act myself around you
or maybe because I love you.
the question I am still wondering is
why do I still miss you?
-te
Continue reading...
439 · Jul 2013
different
tiaamaariaa Jul 2013
different
why stress about all the regrets
when we can smile for just a little while
dont use the word hate
knowing everything will turn out great
forget about the pain
and the depressing rain
the pouring tears
and countless fears
take it all away
your days aren't so grey
there's colour in the sky
no need to cry
a new perspective is always needed
the scars and wounds become treated.
one change makes a big difference
it gives us some independance.
-te
Continue reading...
436 · Jan 2014
Too much
tiaamaariaa Jan 2014
Too much
It's hard to function properly when you have
People always
Nagging at you
For school
At home
With friends
Sometimes it's too much to handle
Continue reading...
436 · Jul 2015
drifting away
tiaamaariaa Jul 2015
drifting away
I'm drifting from everything around me
I wish I could hold onto something
Hold onto a smile , a look, a hand
But all I see are backs
Walking away and I get farther and farther
They keep turning to peek at how far I am
And mouth to me "try harder"
But it doesn't help
I'm drifting away
And no one cares enough to help
To pull me back to reality
-te
Feedback?
#life
Continue reading...
427 · Dec 2013
Broke
tiaamaariaa Dec 2013
Broke
I stopped for 4 days..
That is pretty good
I got the urge so much
But resisted at the best I could
I broke today and feel horrible about it
Horrible for getting so low again
Not telling my friends
Getting to the point where I couldn't continue
I broke
-te
Continue reading...
418 · Oct 2014
Untitled
tiaamaariaa Oct 2014
Untitled
I hear your name
And my heart breaks a little bit more
I see your face
And my body aches a little bit more
I can't go a day without wanting to be with you
Holding you tight
Having your scent stick to my clothes
I can't stop replaying our best moments in my head
I can't stop the video
Over and over and over again
You said you loved me
Why would I believe you?
-te
#love #sad #him
Continue reading...
416 · May 2014
nothing
tiaamaariaa May 2014
nothing
some days I get so bad
so sad
my demons are here
saying hello
their shadows are starting to grow
overcasting me
I need to flee
where else can I go
they are everywhere I look
everywhere I turn
can they all just burn?
moments like this
i sit still
feeling so ill
I am not able to do anything
all i feel is a sting
a tingle
where I want to be hurt
an urge so strong
things become a blur
I try so hard to resist
blast the music
fizz out the voices
focus on anything but it
but there I sit
hands around my neck
feeling like such a wreck
tears falling
like a water fall
I sit there and just bawl..
-te
I am a mess right now.. and I'm not sure if anyone can help.
#suicide #sad #depression #life #sadness #death #hurt #help #mess #cut
Continue reading...
405 · Sep 2013
they help
tiaamaariaa Sep 2013
they help
maybe I talk to guys more then girls
because
they actually listen
they are sweet-talkers and know how to
turn my frown upside down
they're good listeners and help everything.
and I just
don't
want
my 'girl'friends
to
**worry..
may be called a **** or get bugged on how I am always talking to a guy but it is because they can actually make things better unlike you..
Continue reading...
405 · Mar 2014
Untitled
tiaamaariaa Mar 2014
Untitled
It's always scary finding out the truth
Especially when it's not what you want to hear
Making you want to just disappear.
Hearing something that hurts so bad
You have to pretend you aren't sad.
Something that you wouldn't believe
Makes that someone , something you peeve
Once you realize it could be true
Or even that you always knew
Just didn't want to admit
Because of how hard it is to quit
-te
Being told I'm acting like someone I'm not,and I don't like that. Being told people hate me because I'm acting like that person, when I'm not. It's hard to hear that they feel this way...
Continue reading...
403 · Oct 2013
im done
tiaamaariaa Oct 2013
im done
im crying
im hurting
im sad
im tired

im crying
so much
im hurting
everywhere
im sad
non-stop
im tired
of everything

-te
Continue reading...
402 · Aug 2013
Sadness
tiaamaariaa Aug 2013
Sadness
I'm not depressed.
I have just been
sad
I just have a lot of  
sadness
that takes over
in the night.
when I say take over
I mean
I become sad until
I fall asleep
or
get that one joyful person
that sees life
beautifully
cheers me up
makes me chuckle
otherwise
I am
sad.
-te
Continue reading...
399 · Oct 2013
(5w)
tiaamaariaa Oct 2013
(5w)
You
Are
my*
guilty pleasure
-te
Continue reading...
395 · Feb 2014
It's hard
tiaamaariaa Feb 2014
It's hard
Sometimes it's hard
To help out
Sometimes it's hard
To try and understand what you are going through
Sometimes it's hard
For me
With the thoughts and emotions taking over
Sometimes it's hard
For me
To give you advice when I **** at helping people
Sometimes it's really hard
To think you love me
Sometimes it's really hard
To expect anyone to love me for the way I am
It's very hard
-te
Continue reading...
395 · Jul 2013
Ehh all I got.
tiaamaariaa Jul 2013
Ehh all I got.
I have been sitting here for an hour
trying to figure out what to write
I've been sitting here crying
not knowing why
I have been sitting here tapping my fingers on the keyboard
like a crazy person trying to write a good poem
I'm avoiding people's messages
I'm avoiding listening to music
just to write a good poem
but this is all I got.
truly have been trying to write a poem for a lil bit now, but nothing turned out good. haha.
Continue reading...
390 · Jul 2013
horrible
tiaamaariaa Jul 2013
horrible
this time at night
everynight
i get like this
depressing thoughts
tears running down my face
stuffy nose
its like a routine
over and over
day by day
some days its better then others
but others
are horrible.
-te
Continue reading...
388 · Jul 2013
trapped in the black hole
tiaamaariaa Jul 2013
trapped in the black hole
your eyes are like black holes
they reel me in and there is no way of getting out
I stare deeply into the black holes and know that there will be
no escape
somehow my arms are around your neck
your hands around my waist
I open my eyes and see those black holes are covered
its my turn to stop this
I push you away
but
the black holes appear again
I appear back wrapped around you
feeling trapped
-te
Continue reading...
387 · Nov 2013
bye.
tiaamaariaa Nov 2013
bye.
everything was fine
what changed your mind?
I wanted to see you
but I guess I'm just too blue
for you to handle all the time.

you made things so much better
and made them go away
what can I do to make you stay?

I am sorry for bothering you 24/7
I just want to go to heaven
no one else could see that
or understood
but I knew you could.

I just wish I knew why..

-te
why are you giving up on me..
why do I bother you soo much..
Continue reading...
382 · Oct 2013
I wouldnt mind..
tiaamaariaa Oct 2013
I wouldnt mind..
I could never **** myself
too scared of death
or maybe im not...

I couldn't do it myself
but I wouldn't mind dying
seeing if things are better on that side
not having to worry about anything
the judgment,
the stress,
the fear of
EVERYTHING.

I could never **** myself
but
sometimes I wish I was in a car accident
sometimes I wish I was just injured.

I could never **** myself,
but I wouldn't mind dying right now.
-te
Continue reading...
381 · Jul 2013
sad
tiaamaariaa Jul 2013
sad
Its sad I'm not able to tell you everything
Everything about what's going on
How sad I've been lately
How I feel every night
How much I want to cry
The reason why I want to be alone
Or the opposite
And always want someone by my side
Its sad that we're best friends and I'm still not able to exactly tell you how I feel.
Its really sad.
-te
Continue reading...
381 · Jul 2013
To Feel Wanted
tiaamaariaa Jul 2013
To Feel Wanted
my lips crave for yours
my fingers tingle for your touch
to feel your skin
bring you closer
and tighter
until there is no space inbetween us
our lips compressed
hands around my waist
every bad thought auto matically gets erased
i need your touch right now
i need your kisses
all over my body
my lips
my neck
my arms and stomach
showering me in soft kisses
while i lay there in silence
i lay there thinking about how much i want and need this
you make me feel better
thats all i need
those soft kisses
those hands on my body
to make me feel wanted
-te
I know its not right, but I still continue, because I don't care.
To: You know who you are.
Continue reading...
379 · Jul 2013
you can get through this
tiaamaariaa Jul 2013
you can get through this
I don't want to know you do that
I don't want to know that you feel like you hate your life so much you hurt yourself
it kills me inside to know something like that
it kills me even more to know that we're an hour apart and im not able to get to you and just hug you
give you a big hug
tell you everything will be better
you can get through this
one person can change your life
but you decide
a good or bad change.
make it a good one
and continue on.
-te
Continue reading...
376 · Apr 2014
I miss you
tiaamaariaa Apr 2014
I miss you
I miss you
Your touch
The way your thumb rubs against mine when we hold hands
The way you hold my waist when we kiss
The way you hold me when we hug
I miss your voice
The way you sing to me my favourite songs
The way you say my name
The way you mock me when I do something weird
I miss you
The way you smile when I say certain things
The way you kiss me multiple times in a row
The way you stare at me with your nice eyes.
I miss you
When you hang up the phone
When you walk out the door
And even when you say goodnight
I miss you
-te
#love #sad #life #happy
Continue reading...
374 · May 2014
Didn't want you to leave
tiaamaariaa May 2014
Didn't want you to leave
You understood me
You made me happy
You made me think things were going to be different this time,
That not all guys leave after a few months,
Not all guys get tired of me
You may have lost feelings, and that is my fault
I'm sorry I'm so broken, it's hard to keep up
I didn't want this to happen
I thought it would be different this time
To have a guy truly love me
To have him care for me
In ways no one else could
For him to show that everything will be okay
And I just have to stay on this earth to see the amazing things
For him to actually make me think about my future positively
With him
For me to think that things get better if I'm with him
My feelings only got stronger over time
And this was a shock
-te
It may have only been 3 months, but so many memories were made, and love was put into it. I'm not sure how he's taking this, but I know that I'm just a mess.
#love #sad #life #sadness
Continue reading...
364 · Nov 2014
The little girl
tiaamaariaa Nov 2014
The little girl
Do you see that?
The little girl jumping around
Do you see how her smile is so big?
The little girl with many hopes and dreams
Do you see her parents running to help her?
The little girl falling down, scraping her knee
Do you see how she cries?
The little girl wipes away her tears
Do you see that?
The little girl grows up to be a beautiful woman
Do you see how she walks around sulking?
The beautiful woman searching for someone
Do you see how lost she is?
The beautiful woman wasn't ready for the real world
Do you see how she cries herself to sleep?
The beautiful woman thought someone would always be there
Do you see how lonely she is?
The beautiful woman grew up with comfort
Do you see that?
The beautiful woman wishing to be a little girl again
-te
#broken #sad #life
Continue reading...
363 · Nov 2014
Untitled
tiaamaariaa Nov 2014
Untitled
I MISS YOU SO **** MUCH AND IT IS KILLING ME INSIDE TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE OUT THERE LOOKING FOR A NEW GIRL TO BE WITH NOT EVEN THINKING ONCE ABOUT ME AND OUR PAST I MISS YOU SO **** MUCH AND YOU WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW BECAUSE WE DONT TALK AT ALL AND I HATE THAT!
-te
#love #sad #caps
Continue reading...
363 · Nov 2014
You were my sun
tiaamaariaa Nov 2014
You were my sun
YOUR TOUCH WAS AS ELECTRIFYING AS THE SUN AND THAT IS WHAT MADE ME SO CONNECTED TO YOU YOUR WARMTH MADE ME WANT TO STAY IT MADE ME WANT TO BE WITH YOU UNTIL THE END OF TIME TO KEEP ME OUT OF THE COLD AND PROTECTED FROM THE RAIN I WAS ATTRACTED BY YOUR SHOCKING WARMTH BUT ONE DAY YOU JUST LEFT LEAVING ME SITTING ALONE WITH THE COLD WHICH IS WHERE I AM STILL SITTING RIGHT NOW
-te
#love #sad #caps
Continue reading...
355 · Oct 2014
Can, will and did
tiaamaariaa Oct 2014
Can, will and did
Can you make me feel like a summer day breeze
Instead of a stormy night cloud
Can you show me the snow but not let me freeze
Instead the crashing lightning that is so loud
Will you write me a poem to express your love
Or will you not even call when you're going to sleep
Will you compare me to a beautiful dove
Or will you leave me alone to weep
Did you buy me flowers on our special day
Rather than going out with the boys all night long
Did you make the reservation at the cafe
Rather than playing beer pong
Can, will and did
Were my dreams since I was a kid
-te
#love #sad #life #boys #girls
Continue reading...
353 · Aug 2013
normal
tiaamaariaa Aug 2013
normal
can all of this please just stop
the tears
the anguish
the thoughts
I need everything to just stop
I want everything to be
normal
-te
Continue reading...
352 · May 2014
Not sure (10w)
tiaamaariaa May 2014
Not sure (10w)
Not sure who I miss anymore in my crazy life
-te
#love #life #confused #10w
Continue reading...
350 · Apr 2015
Untitled
tiaamaariaa Apr 2015
Untitled
sometimes it comes crawling back
Into my mind
Taking over everything I have
there's nothing I can do
I fall into this hole
Filled with darkness and confusion
Feeling so lost
and all I know to do is cry
-te
didn't really know what I was trying to get at tbh
#sad #life #darkness
Continue reading...
348 · Jul 2013
Young Years
tiaamaariaa Jul 2013
Young Years
why did we want to get older?
thinking there would always be a shoulder
to lean on when things go wrong
but all we do is try to stay strong.
so many dissapointments
and let downs
we just feel like our feelings are being drowned.
only some stay
making things not so gray
our young years brang so much laughter
and happily ever afters
not knowing what was to come
wishing for the past to be back
not expecting this stressful attack
-te
Continue reading...
345 · Dec 2013
Again.
tiaamaariaa Dec 2013
Again.
when they ask why
I back away, not wanting to answer
when they ask what I use
I back away even more, ashamed
when they tell me to stop
I yell back at them
when they cry
I cry too
they think it is so easy
the thought of stopping makes me feel queasy
its hard
to let go of something that made you feel so
alive
making everything go away for that moment
relieving me from feeling so broken
when they tell me I need to stop
when they tell me I can't give up
when they tell me I shouldn't disappoint them again
when they tell me I can overcome this..
I back away and do it again.
-te
Continue reading...
342 · Sep 2013
Just dont
tiaamaariaa Sep 2013
Just dont
why do you come back to me 2 months later..
why do you ask if I miss what we had?

I know you miss the things we did..
the pleasure it gave you.

I know you're just lonely,
you can find anyone else, am I right?

why do you decide to come to me..
when you're the one who ended things so abruptly?

Just don't.
Please don't make me talk about how I felt..
how much I liked you.

Just don't.
Please don't make me the bad guy here..
because I'm not.

Just don't.
Please don't make me feel like I can go to you about anything..
when we both now I cant.

If you're here for me now, where were you when I actually needed you.
If you say how you missed me and the things you did, why did you wait this long to say it.

Don't
Make
Me
Want
You
Again.
-te
I need to know when to say no
Continue reading...
337 · Jan 2015
Untitled
tiaamaariaa Jan 2015
Untitled
I FEEL LIKE SUCH A MESS AND I AM GETTING WORSE AND I AM NEVER HAPPY ANYMORE AND I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH IT ALL AND I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH FOR BEING LIKE THIS BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP THE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN TAKE
-te
#suicide #sad #life #depressed #allcaps
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336 · May 2014
Untitled
tiaamaariaa May 2014
Untitled
DON'T TELL ME YOU LOVED ME
DON'T ACT LIKE YOU CARE
BECAUSE IF YOU DID LOVE ME
OR CARE FOR MY SOUL
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE GAVE UP
LEAVING ME DANGLING HERE ALONE
DON'T SAY THAT YOU MISS ME
DON'T TRY TO MAKE THINGS BETTER
BECAUSE IF YOU DO MISS ME OR WANTED THINGS BETTER
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE DISSAPPEARED AND MADE ME TRY TO FORGET
I THOUGHT IT WAS DIFFERENT THIS TIME
AND SO I HOPED YOU WERE THE ONE
BUT TURNS OUT YOU LEAVING CAN'T JUST BE UNDONE
-te
Continue reading...
329 · Dec 2013
If you see
tiaamaariaa Dec 2013
If you see
Doing something so horrible to myself
Is meant to be kept a secret
To not be seen
But at the same time
If someone every does see
I don't want them to question
I don't want them to freak out
And if they ask if I am okay
And I said yes
I want them to hold me and say they know I'm not
I want them to be able to not look at me any differently
I want them to accept that these are just my battle scars
And I am trying to get better
-te
If you see any one with scars,/cuts don't point them out or question just try to understand that they are going through a tough time
Continue reading...
322 · Aug 2013
deeper
tiaamaariaa Aug 2013
deeper
never thought about cutting before
never thought that it would have to come to that.
I guess I was wrong.
not sure how or where I would do it.
not sure if I would be able to handle
the pain
the marks
my nails are long
sharp
thought it would work
I tried to dig,
tried to break through
my skin
nothing!
only a mark
a red line
appearing on my wrist
to fade away
or
become deeper
-te
I did not actually cut myself.
Continue reading...
322 · Jan 2015
Thank you & Sorry
tiaamaariaa Jan 2015
Thank you & Sorry
Thank you for saving me at a bad time
Thank you for making me feel like the most important person in the world
Thank you so much for sticking by my side as long as you did
I'm sorry I pushed you away
I'm sorry things ended the way they did
I'm so sorry I am the way I am
But thanks again for helping for that little while, I just wish you were still here helping..
-te
#love #sad
Continue reading...
320 · Jul 2013
why me?
tiaamaariaa Jul 2013
why me?
these thoughts
sweeping
over
my brain
taking over
taking the controls
making everything seem
impossible
no ambition
no worth
everything
s l o w l y
drowning out of me
until two words are left
"why me"
-te
Continue reading...
320 · Sep 2013
I am
tiaamaariaa Sep 2013
I am
I
am
getting
better!


Hallelujah!
or maybe I'm not..
Continue reading...
318 · Apr 2014
Untitled
tiaamaariaa Apr 2014
Untitled
It's hard to forget sometimes ,
Everything that's happened
Especially when it effected me so much.
It's hard to forget the heartbreaks
The lonely nights
The times I felt like I was all I had
And even then not be completely sure.
It's hard to forget the friends
That I lost over such stupid reasons
Friends that I had amazing memories with.
It's hard to forget the reason I have these scars,
As they made me who I am today.
-te
#love #heartbreak #friends #sad #happy #scars
Continue reading...
315 · Sep 2013
I'm not
tiaamaariaa Sep 2013
I'm not
why did saying I was getting better
make me feel so
happy?
Im not getting better.
I think im getting worse.
maybe saying it made me believe I was
but im not
someone
please
help
Continue reading...
315 · Dec 2014
mind
tiaamaariaa Dec 2014
mind
it's a bunch of tangled thoughts
all trying to escape
creating huge knots
that I'm unable to break
some are working harder than others
overpowering my head
some are being such a bother
I feel so brain dead
the more knots it creates
the more it hurts
causes me to debate
do I think more just to make it worse?
-te
I have no clue what I was trying to get at..
#sad #pain #depressed #hurt #thoughts
Continue reading...
314 · Sep 2013
to not be sad
tiaamaariaa Sep 2013
to not be sad
I wish we didn't have to cry
To let go of emotion
To show our sadness
(or joy)
I wish we didn't get sad at all..
-te
Continue reading...
311 · Jan 2015
Untitled
tiaamaariaa Jan 2015
Untitled
It's weird how you want everyone to know how you're feeling. For them to know you aren't okay anymore. For them to know you have suicidal thoughts every single day. For them to know you cut. For them to know you just don't want to be in this world anymore. But then again, you don't want anyone to worry about you so you keep your mouth shut. It's weird how we want someone to help us but we stay silent so they will never know
-te
#suicide #sad #life #depressed #selfharm
Continue reading...
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