Sometimes reality will unfold
in such a way that
you actually wish it was a bad dream
that you could wake up from...
Sadly,
that isn't the case
and although life tends
to throw
the most unexpected situations our way,
more often than not,
we are only ever left with one ultimatum...

...and that is
to brave through it all,
as best as we possibly can.

Nothing that happens in life
is by mistake or default,
It is a conscious decision
that one chooses to endure
(whether good or bad)
and regardless of the outcome,
Always look forward to the fact
that there is always something
that is meant to come of it.

Read
what I write,
to understand my
thoughts & feelings.

The key to understanding most poets is to read what they have written, with the intention to gain an understanding into what is playing out in their mental space.

Today I Saw My First Love

In that moment...
There was a burst of cheer in his tone,
His grin slightly stretched further than usual,
His eyes had a momentary sparkle in them;
One that had his heart peeled out,
Just so I could see how much jubilance is flowing within it.
Each stolen gaze made me want to sneak in just a few more seconds...

In that moment...
Each word uttered,
Turned into a melody my heart danced merrily to...
That moment,
As short as it might have been,
Reminded me of why I ever exposed my heart to love.

In that moment...
He wasn't the person I used to love,
Nor I,
The person he treasured with his entire being,
We were just...
Him and I.
No mention of a we,
Or us that ceased to exist...
We were just two individuals who chose to be civil,
While still embracing each other's company.
After all,
That is what drew us towards each other,
And what continued to keep us so closely connected.

In that moment...
I was overwhelmed by so much,
I couldn't bring my head to speak to my heart,
Or my heart to speak through my mouth...
I was so glad that he was this happy,
While part of me was dying because it was not because of me.

Bittersweet reality of still being in love with someone you can never really be with.
#love   #ex   #broken   #sad   #life   #pain   #happiness   #reality   #writing   #poetrycommunity  

it feels almost as if my strength is caging in on me,
constantly calling upon my weakness,
while I am left at a crossroad between...
...a heart that is tired of carrying my stubbornness
and a head with it's fist high up in the sky shouting:
"THERE'S NO ROOM TO GIVE UP!"

so, with the smile on my face,
I carry myself through this inner conflict
after all,
no-one ever questions a smile,
but people are too quick to question tears running down your face.

so I'll leave my heart to ail,
while carrying my head through it's quest to keep itself up...
because that's what I do...
remain the strength that carries me

You could never handle the fire within me,
That crimson always burned too viciously for your liking.
Your eyes could hardly gaze into mine,
Without flinching over the solid stare that mine gave off.

My words cut so deeply,
It was almost as if each utterance was finding a vein to rip.
There was never any warmth in my touch,
I guess you got to feel what my heart is like...

No words to utter,
No emotions to feel...
Just another experience turned sour...
Because I forgot how to love.

It was never about any mutuality,
But rather,
My constant urge to satisfy an insatiable desire.

Wanting and wanting,
While you were always willing to give...
Your time,
Your feelings,
Your coitus,
Your entire being...

All to me.

Apollo Hayden
Apollo Hayden
Sep 28, 2016

When you're ready to receive it you won't ever have to believe.
Once you're hit with the vibrations, you'll come to know it instantly.
Wavelengths hitting more and more as you head for the top floor; out of your windows it gets clearer, lots more to see, lots more to explore. Mind be the key desiring to seek what's behind these locked doors.

Communication is key
for embracing your happiness,
in it's entirety

Apollo Hayden
Apollo Hayden
Sep 20, 2016

And so the plot thickens, negros getting plucked like the feathers off chickens.
It's open season and while the hurt is grieving the earth is washed with rivers of blood that sinks in.
But they got blinders on as if this shit ain't really going on; not phased at all as strong black men raise their hands only to fall.
By the wayside...they lie lifeless while the people shout for Justice, but their voices fall upon death ears.
Fatherless children growing up in fear, turning tender heart's so cold; she calls 'em super predators as if her feet could ever fit in their shoes; she'll never fathom their souls.
It's gotta be the spirit inside mankind, cuz human beings don't act this way.
It's just what I see through my own two eyes; dead bodies getting hash tagged everyday.
It's just another cold day in babylon, I know it's hard to stay high when they trying to keep us low.
As we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we can hear the screams from ghosts.
Judgement will come one day, though it may be hard to see it through those watery eyes.
In the end nobody will ever get away with   taking an innocent life.

Apollo Hayden
Apollo Hayden
Sep 14, 2016

Many may come,
yet few will climb;
not every man is concerned with what's inside.
Stuck at their base, just by the look on their face, you can see the soul speak in their eyes.
They were never ready to start from the heart; they were always afraid of heights.

 
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