You shouldnt write off just me
but everything-
the scraps of paper in the street
the grit & sand blowing in the wind
the dust cloud smudge on windshield
kitten prints
the dried husk of a squashed frog
the broken necklace on the ground
the toy forgotten until its found.
Nail in the coffin
shut closed buried and forgotten
no crack of light just a shoosh and thump of dirt
hollow booms in heart
burying in settling
deep inside cold descends
silence between the ears
between the years
silence the soft thump of still beating heart on auto thump
thump thump
no thought to live or breathe
no thought to live but there continues life
shut up inside
Write me off dont pull me out
leave me silent as stone freezing my bones
nail in the coffin
to rise or not time will tell to live or…
to be remembered or forgotten.

Five thirty in the morning
Waiting for the first bus of the day, are a woman and her husband
Don't know how old
But a little round, a little gray, a little bald.
I guess is it was the woman, who was going places
They were dressed up
But just a little
So I guess they were going to Praha
Early
So maybe for some sale
No really
I am certain it was the well dressed lady who was going to the Golden City
To do some serious shopping
Today he was just an assistant
He looked bored as hell, holding the nail polish, while she fixed up her nails
Sure he did!
But, I am sure he knows that if he didn't do this
He'd be left to his own devices
That means drinking himself to death at the football club
And not knowing what to do at a birthday party even if he remembered when anyone's was
But I am sure he's happy he doesn't have to
Even though two minutes of holding nail polish is a veeery long time
At least that is how I recall it from when my mother made me hold it as a child

I wish that i could take back the kindest i shared
You are  so closed  mind   and stuck in the past
I can't  live in world  where its  one way
I have take step back look see the world from outside looking in
I am nothing to then  you then just another step
My heart is too kind for you
I wish i could walk and slam door in your face
You never see how u are  blind by your own self
It  is time to remove this cancer out of my life
And  stop being the hammer to the nail

Hidden from the world, their expectations too high
I will never reach them, even if I try.

So I change myself; My face, my hair,
Everything that makes me ME, no one will care.

Soon enough, I'm not the same as I used to be
No longer that little girl that everyone loved to see.

I have become a fake person with fake aspects
So afraid of their expectations of having to be perfect.

I have lost the only people that cared about the real me
Now I'm a nail, holding up their reputations like the tool they want me to be.

I am defenseless and the only thing I can do is be quiet
This is what I wanted, right? The new look, personality and diet.

I wanted to reach their expectations and still I fail to do that
I changed myself for them but still they walk all over me like a mat.

I guess their expectations were too high, I couldn't go that far
Now I have to live with them ******* me dry of myself like the leeches they are.

I look down at the arcs of white;
at the tattered bows which skirt my fingernails.
They signal the very edge of my extremities.
Each one with unique imperfections
owed to the muck and dirt lodged underneath.
They're hideous; soiled and grotesque from
digging deeper into my love affair with mortality -
my lust for the knowledge of what happens
when we are 6 feet below sun-lights' reach.

Unfurl your courage to the wind, like a sail
Begin a new journey, make a new trail
You can't look back or be afraid to fail
Are you proud of the story you will tell
When time shall lift to you its final veil
And ask, were you the hammer or the nail?

I used to think you were my saving grace but you ended up being a nail in my coffin