“i live to let you”
my spirit has been broken by the loss of grains
and i feel like the world has become more grey
i have so many regrets for this lifetime
but i really regret every fight with grains
i’d take them all back, every one
i regret my ****** actions when i was younger
and i can’t lie, i regret things i've done since i’m older
i often feel as if i’m not a good person
but i’ve come to realize that i am a good person
just so broken
and it is is my responsibility to heal, because i have power over those around me
i just hardly see the point of preserving my own life
i’ve attempted suicide, and have never stopped self harm
i hope when i’m gone people remember me for the good things
the laughs we shared, and the intelligent conversations
and i hope people remember i love them
despite all my ****
i’ve realized i never let go of love
“love never dies”
and i’ve accepted i will always love you
i never forget you
one day everything will make sense
and things will suddenly become not a coincidence, but fate
lessons that have become invaluable to who we are
i hope to preserve the memories that light up my heart and mind
even when everything has truthfully become so dark
it’s still true i self harm and love pain, or don’t feel it
it’s still true i don’t value my life and am not afraid to **** myself
it’s still true i am a dandelion tuft-a delicate cancer
but i choose to accept what has happened, what i have done, and forgive myself for regrets
and to never forget love
if this existence ends for me, please know i love you and i’m sorry for everything

I wonder if every dandelion I have sent through the wind
whispered how I still long
for a warm embrace.
And so I begged
my friendly, fragile friends
once more.
These  little wisps of white.
Please murmur my wishes
to the breeze.
My song of love,  my dream of peace.