In the end pain will explain everything."

Oh boy, I'm happy today.
How can I not be,
when today I have awaken?
Or, that I'm able to see the sun one more time?
Today I'm happy because I can make someone else happy.
Today I'm happy because I get to be with family.
I'm happy because no matter how many I have,
I am grateful for the life I have.
Today I'm happy because I have food to eat,
and a bed to sleep in.
I'm happy because no matter what I know I have people who love me
as much as I love them.
Today is another day to be happy because you don't know
if you may fall in love.
Today you might have the probability of meeting the person
which whom you're going to spend the rest of your life with.
Today is another day to be happy just because you were able to make it
till one more day.
Today I'm happy because you are alive.
Today I'm happy because no matter what, God loves you.
Today I'm happy just because I love you, and no matter where you are
Today is a day to be happy with."

I left feeling alone,
and now that I'm here I am lonelier
that I've ever been.
It's sad, right?
How can one never see the light.
But in the end pain will explain,
what words never made.
No wonder we decide suicide,
no one ever make us pride.
Kindness is strongly mistaken for weakness,
in a world were love is frequently mistaken for
forgiveness.
Excuse me if I am being too blunt,
but in this world we are consider naive,
people who don't express their feelings correctly are always
the one I fear the most.

One day maybe,
I'll finally go up to you.
One day maybe,
I'll tell you about my love.
One day maybe,
you'll notice me.
One day maybe,
You wont ignore me anymore.
One day maybe,
I'll be brave enough to talk you.
One day maybe,
I'll finally get over you.

I gave you everything.
I showed you things I'd never shown
to anyone before.
I believed in you.
I kissed you.
I slept with you.

I was in love with you.
I felt used.
I felt *****.
After that day,
I couldn't see myself in the mirror.
I was disgusted with myself.
In the end I realized that I
was in love with the idea of you.
But why?
I have no idea.

No, I said.
Yes, you said.
I hate you, I said.
I like you, you said.
Leave me alone, I said.
I can't, you said.
I don't like you, I said.
But I still won't leave you alone,
you said.

Please, I said.
I won't let you go,
you said.
I don't want to see you again,
I said.
I don't care, you said.
Please, I said.
No, you said.

Why can't you just leave,
I said.
Because, stupid, I love you,
you said.

Does it matter that every time I try to get out of the bed, my head feels like it's being pounded with at least 500 sledgehammers?
Does it matter, that every time I try to breathe, my lungs lock out any air and let me drown in my own dusty and black smoke?
Does it matter that every time I see you it's just like the world has stopped?
Does it matter that every time I cross near you, I can smell the cologne that leaves me breathless?
Does it matter that every time I go to school, you choose to ignore me? Does it matter that when you cross in front of me you don't even glance in my way?
Does it matter that I feel helpless when you play around with her, wishing that it was me you were playing with?
In the end, I believe it doesn't because I know you'll never notice.

"Hey you!" I heard someone say, "Wait!"
And I did...