if you had stabbed me with a knife
it couldn't hurt any worse
if you knocked me down on the ground
at least I could have gotten up
if you split a piece of my skin
at least I could stop the blood flowing
if you stepped on my toes
it might even have done me some good
but some things don't heal
some things never heal
a broken heart sometimes
takes years to mend
but it eventually does
I've seen it too many times
felt it many lifetimes over
still, a wound is a wound is a wound
and some stab much deeper
some tears a person to shreds
some wounds don't heal
and it's sad to think of those kinds
but they're there
they pull you down
even when all else goes well
but the deep wounds
have a tendency
to make us forget the good things
if you had stabbed me with a knife
at least my heart could rest

Now that the door has stopped slamming
and that calm has taken its place
it's my turn for a peaceful evening
it's the last tonight you'll see this face
The lights are all dim med - turned low
quiet is all that flows within
it's time to say 'good night to all'
to both family and a friend
So sweet dreams to each and every one
may your hearts be filled with love
may angels bring you peace tonight
that's what I'm dreaming of

I cook the meals
wash the dishes
wash clothes
do the ironing
the sweeping
the mopping
the vacuuming
dusting
knock down webs
clean the toilets
make the beds
...
shoot..
I do everything
that a maid does
and then some
where's MY money?

deep pools of blackened water
staring at me in the night
fear running up and down my spine
but I won't give up
without a fight

you can ogle all you want
but I'm not stepping aside
icy eyes looking me up and down
yet I won't give up
without a fight

my blood runs cold - breathless
determined to win this war
yellow stripe turning solid brass
and I won't give up
I'm back for more

deep pools of blackened water
staring at me in the night
the fear is now up in flames
and I am here now
ready to fight

I won't back down to you
nor step aside you see
my hair is now inflamed
and I am here now
for victory

backing down was part of the past
my will now is quite strong;
your icy stares don't scare me
I didn't give up
before casting you
back to where you belong

It's never to early for the sun to rise
for the Lord has it all planned out
as I look across the horizon
and see the rainbow colors
that bring the sun to the surface
I stand in awe
it's beauty is breathtaking
it's none other than a miracle

It's never too soon for the sun to set
for the Lord has it all planned out
as I look across the horizon
and see unspoken beauty
that fills the land and skies in color
I stand in awe
it's beauty excites me so
it's none other than amazing

Sunrise, Sunset
beauty ever prevails
look with the eys
but see with the heart

Let your voices flow through the skies
and reach mountaintops afar
let others know you are singing
hallejuah because He has made you
who you are!

Let your hearts sing and shout 'Glory'
and tell others about what's true
let loved ones hear your heart sing
hallejuah because He has made you
out of love so true!

Let your voices rise above the waters
and soar above clouds far away
let others know He is inside you
as you sing ''Hallejuah! Let us rejoice!''
and bend down to pray.

oh sweet heavens
God is good
taking care of our angels
as they come to you
wrap her in your arms
hold her tight
hear her heavenly voice
sing Hallejuah


beautiful smile
most giving heart
sending us love
from purest heart
gone now from us
but not forgotten

''Innocent Angel''

she was heaven sent
we all know that
the brightest eyes
the sweetest smile
most tender cheeks

she was here briefly
came; passed us by
the cutest laugh
the kindest heart
most loving child

she was beautiful
then and now
the coolest kid
the alltime best
innocent angel

soaring above the clouds
feeling the wind
getting the feel of the world
beneath me
light as a feather
free as the eagle
gentle as the wind

soaring above the planes
rain upon my face
falling now
gently on my beak
free as the dove
gentle as a kiss

taking flight over trees
mountaintops and hills
calling out
gently speaking now
wise as the owl
courageous and kind
the falcon speaks

'Sneaky''

he's watching your every move
awaiting for you to fail
once he sees your back is turned
he'll pounce over the rail

he's eyeing your every step
snickering upon its lips
once he sees he has a chance
he'll break out and zip

low and behold the watcher
no one knows from whence he came
once he thinks you surely failed
he'll swear to do it again

cowering in the corners
awaiting for you to subside
once he thinks you are gone
he will no longer hide

he's watching your every move
awaiting as to attack
dang cat isn't so smart
Master is coming back

how can you think that
with what do you feel
people have feelings
and they are real

where's your compassion
is it so far gone
that love is lost
that there is none

how can you feel that
what happened to you
is from the heart
thus we speak and do

but you are heartless
that I have no doubt
where we speak from within
you speak without

how can you think that
with what do you feel
people have feelings
and they are real

A voice out in the midst
calling out to me
to listen with the heart
and let yourself be free

I look around to see
who would call my name
yet I see no one
but the words were the same

Listen with your heart
only then speak again
still I saw no one
as soft words seemed to reign

The voice of a friend
speaking gently to me
now feeling so safe
I felt I could fly free

The gift of patience
sent to me with such love
thus from an angel
sweet presence from above

oh my
did you see it?
Grandpa kissed Grandma
and she liked it!
I don't believe it!
but why?
eeewwwwww
kissing!!

oh my
did you see?
Daddy kissed Mommy
and she liked it!
but why?
ughhhhh
kissing!!

oh my
I think I..
am going to be sick
Why, Gramps?
Why, Daddy?
kissing!!

Then Mommy told me
nothing's wrong with it
just a gentle kiss
women like that

Then Grandma spoke up
nothing's wrong with it
just a simple kiss
things women like

Mommy? Grandma?
Daddy? Grandpa?
Will I like it
when I grow up?

After they all nodded
I just said
''Not me!
I'll stay a kid forever!''

Another day gone
and you're not coming home
though I've waited for you
to come through that door
so I lay in bed awake
wondering where I made my mistake
thinking 'What did I do wrong?'

Patiently I wait
but you still haven't come
and I'm torn inside out
my heart is torn in two
wondering 'Where will I go now'
as humbly my head I bow
praying ''Is Daddy coming home?"

Day after day I've cried
wanting you back with me
you're forever in my heart
as I wear tear-stained clothes
my life's now rearranged
and it feels so strange
asking  ''Please, will you come home?''

Then one night I heard
an unfamiliar sound
drifting through the house
but I knew no one else
could possibly be there
slowly I walked up the last stair
thinking, 'Dear Lord, be with me''

I stood there at first
on the brink of the steps
a drum beating in my chest
before I stepped forward
the sound closer still
''Oh Lord,'' I prayed, ''what is thy will?"

stepping now into the light
Mom was there crying
but not a sad tone, see
but rejoicing for there
above us was Daddy
nevermore out to roam
for God had taken him home
singing, ''How Great Thou Art.''

There he was at last
an unexpected angel
that had gone through
the Pearly Gates
Hallelujah to Him on High
for we'll meet again by and by
loving with purest of hearts

If only I had a grandson like you
I'd have a more perky spirit
I'd go to football games
soccer games
and cheer you on like crazy!

If only I had a granddaughter like you
I'd have a more perky spirit
I'd go to the festivals
cheerleader tryouts
and root for my number one!

If only I had a grandson like you
I'd do things like ne'er before
I'd play some kickball
jump on trampolines
and scream out for pure joy!

You know something?
I do..
have you!!
And I wouldn't have it
any other way!

I wanted to be like you
when I was growing up
I thought I knew you
but I didn't
you wouldn't let me know you
not the real you
not the mother you're supposed to be
not the mother with open arms
not the mother who understood me

I wanted to be like you
when I was just a little one
My eyes were cast upon you
My heart was full of joy
and life was worth the while
but you didn't want that
you didn't love me
you didn't care
..
not the way a mother
should love her child

Instead you chose something else
something that tore us apart
something I dreaded
something more important
more than I'd ever be
something any child
wouldn't want in life
if she truly understood

I don't want to
follow my Mother's footsteps
but to create
a better life...
......
or should I?

I want to grow up
and be just like you
strong
loving
caring
sweet
kind

I want to grow up
and know things you do
how to love
how to care
how to be kind
how to do
the things you do

I love you Mommy.

There's a switch that refuses to be changed
It lies within the very depth of one's soul
Where one refuses to follow the tunnel to the light
and in which to bring himself into the darkness.

There's a world out there we cannot explain
It lies within the very depth of one's heart
When on mountain leads into the vast open
and in which we never want to even return.

That part of our lives lives with only a heartbeat
It lies within our inner being... an inner darkness
Where our fears outweigh any goodness within
and in which we lose sight of all that was good.

Don't fall into that darkness...
There's no way out..
I beg of you.

They are the light of the world
so let us be their inspiration
hold a candle in their honor
and let's begin the celebration!

Where's the blessing
when the sun refuses to shine
the birds deny their song
a child chooses to cry?

Where's the blessing
when the stars lose their glisten
the flowers forget to bloom
the pain is unbearing?

Where's the blessing
when a mother forgets her child
then turns and walk away
to a world of unknown?

Where's the blessing
when darkness is overcast
the world's upside down
life becomes such torture?

We tend to forget
the little things in this life
the spark to encourage
the eyes of a child.

What happened
to the blessing?

Countless times I've called out
my voice is just another bit of the wind
no one to hear my voice
no one understands.

Countless times I've spoken
my voice just trails to another dimension
no one to hear my cries
no one grasps my heart.

Countless times I've reached out
my voice is just another broken record
no one to feel my pain
no one to believe.

Countless times I've called out
my voice is just another bit of the wind
no one hears my heart
no one understands.

blinded by the light
my heart skips a beat
the glare's too much
no place to go
unlike where I've been
help me

blinded by the glare
my heart beats faster
all unknowing
nothing to do
but sit here in fear
help me

what did the maid do
with my glasses?

how could I have fallen
so closely to the ground?
an eternal flare
without any care
what should I do?

how could I have disgraced
so eagerly and quick?
everlasting blaze
unorthodox craze
where now from here?

why have I given up
at such an early age?
a lifetime of loss
heartful of cross
who shall I blame?

I hang my head wearily
holding grudge deep within;
the hour of pain
once met again
how did I slip
away?

upon its limbs
the robin sings
baby birds tweet
for their mother

hung from above
an old swing sways
small children play
filled with laughter

the old oak tree
holds memories
upon each branch
another story

upon its limbs
leaves start to fall
softly below
brown, green, and yellow

I won't forget
the times shared there
as the robin sings
in the old oak tree

the space between us
is petrifying
terrifying
lonely
fearsome

just the inkling of space
sends electricity
crackling
sparking
painful

rather a mile or two
between us twain
or a foot
crying
tedious

no matter where we are
in this universe
terrifying
lonely
fearsome

I read a book today
the words spoke to me
from a dream
into reality
or vice versa
I don't know.

I read a book today
the words were so pure
some with love
into fantasy
or fondest desires
I don't know.

I read a book today
words cut like a knife
filled with hate
and with despair
or pure agony
I felt it.

The book spoke to me
the words were vivid
someone else's life
poured out in ink
and made me wonder
somewhere inside
I needed to know.

another tossed piece of garbage
t'was lying on the floor
heart torn to pieces
thrown out the door

another right that turned out wrong
mistaken in the world
forever alone
t'was left unfurled

another time perhaps... era
lost in the world of dust
tossed out in the wind
to a world unjust

Why are the mountains so high?
Where did the blue skies come from?
Why do I call you Mommy and Daddy
instead of Dolly or Joe?

Why does it get dark at night?
Where do babies come from?
Who was the first to set a timer
for me to go to bed?

So many questions unanswered
So much for us to learn
How many lives do I need to live
to end the curiosity?

in a mountain of tears I stand
waiting on the right moment
the perfect man
the one thing I know
is impossible....

in the midst of that mountain
crying because of the past
what once was
the one thing I know
will never be again....

I look across the mountain tops
desires to be as the hawk
totally free
the one thing I know
I at least have a chance.

Breaking Out
I don't care what they say about me
I am who I am
no one can take that away from me
or can they?

I don't belong here regardless
I need to be free
no one can open the deep pit
that I dug...

I hear them talking and swearing
I feel their presence
can't even sleep in peace at night
'cause of them...

I hear screams coming from the next room
I feel an evil
no more living for there isn't life
not like this....

Will this nightmare go on forever
I surely hope not
we've got to get out of this place tonight
are you with me?

time is short
we've lived much of it
exist only awhile longer
if we truly had
'all the time in the world'
I still couldn't express
how much I love you

knives ****** into my back
tiny piercing needles thru my chest
rather it's physical or from the heart
it's still painful times

encouragement not seen
or anywhere within my sight
discouraged, heartbroken
it's still painful times

we try to let the past stay behind
yet it has a way to sneak upon us
then follows unworthiness
it's all in painful times

we just have to keep going
to become stronger at all
I learned this
through all the painful times