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 May 2014 Sleepz
kyla marie
I can't believe how amazing you are. You're the only person who's made me feel this special in a long time [delete]

are you sure you just want to be 'friends', I think I'm in love with you [delete]

can I have a goodbye kiss? I love your kisses, they taste like summer [delete]

I wish you would just say "Hi" to me in the hallways [delete]

that girl you always walk with is beautiful, I can understand why you didn't want me [delete]

when you told me I was beautiful and **** and all you would ever want, was that all a lie too? [delete]

I got a mosquito bite today and it reminded me of when we slept outside and were attacked by them [delete]

it smells like the nights we spent together [delete]

one, two, three...I've lost count of how many drinks are for you [delete]

I wish you thought about me as much as I think of you [delete]

why are your words stuck in my head [delete]

I was naive and young, I'm sorry I actually thought you loved me [delete]

it's been months since the summer nights we spent together. please tell me you miss me. [delete]

my chest hurts. my heart aches. everything about you from the way your lips tasted to how I got chills down my spine from just one touch makes me want to explode [delete]

the blood running down my wrist contains the words you said but never meant [delete]
 May 2014 Sleepz
Miriam
anxiety
 May 2014 Sleepz
Miriam
is like crashing onto the shore
getting pulled back by the waves
with water in your mouth
and your vision going black
and it feels like somehow
it's never gonna stop

you keep on sinking
and sinking
and sinking,

but you never
drown.
 May 2014 Sleepz
Miriam
love
 May 2014 Sleepz
Miriam
how can something so beautiful
hurt so much?
 May 2014 Sleepz
Miriam
500 days
 May 2014 Sleepz
Miriam
love ruins things
it leaves us all destitute
and hungry for something else
greater than ourselves

it all ends
it all breaks
we all give up

what's the point of letting someone
who will eventually leave
see your bare soul?

i don't know i don't know i don't know

i just felt like i didn't belong

it just didn't feel right
and i didn't feel secure

his heart was made of broken eggshells
and i got tired of tiptoeing in his presence

i knew it was bound to break

"it's just love," he said

and that's exactly the reason why i left.
"It's a girl" they said
Ooooooh think of all the pink things
Like booties and bows
Dolls, and toys that aren't for boys

"Sweet sixteen, and never been kissed"
Blow the candles out love
Your mother spent hours baking
Your mother spent hours labouring

"She's a woman now!" They cried at her 18th
"We'd better watch them boys!"
But what about the girls?
Why aren't you watching them?

Is it because those girls are at the kitchen sink ?
Awaiting a boy's wink of approval?
Through buttermilk sweetness these
Pink girls think.

You men are ******
Full of tricks
That send half these girls to a shrink
But it's time to have a rethink

We fair maidens view you
Through basilisk eyes
We fairer *** are
Crueller than you

It's time to drop kick the pink
Permanently into the kitchen sink
And slink behind you
With a candlestick

After all I'm just a pink girl
Who would believe that the
Pink mess on my dress
Is your brain?
© JLB
 Apr 2014 Sleepz
Wednesday
I wonder if you’d want to know
I named all of my demons after you and
they haunt me in my sleep

when I was 14 I fell asleep in April and dreamed of bones and
I’m not sure I’ve really ever woken up since

when I lost 5 pounds I never saw a difference

when I lost 10 my mother said I was looking good

when I lost 20 she told me to stop and handed me food
and I became anemic

when I lost 25 I stopped drinking anything because
I felt water had calories

when I lost 30 my mother held me on her lap
and held my bones together for me

when I lost 35 I started fainting every morning and
the doctors could no longer easily find my blood pressure

when I lost 40 people started to stare and food made me cry

when I lost 45 it hurt to walk and to lay down
it hurt to eat
it hurt to breathe and
I started throwing up my empty stomach

the mind plays tricks on those that decide
nourishment is not needed

Eat.
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