The silence is deafening, quickening,
my heart beating, rasping,
my breaths heavy,
my tears trickling,
he lurks in shadows, fears,
my head spinning, dizzy,
my eyes blurring,
my world disappears

I sit and stare at the walls all day to stop myself from feeling,
my heart is battered, my soul is weeping, when will I start healing?
I try and sleep as much as I can as I prefer my dreams,
for when I’m awake my longing for you tears me apart at the seams.

I forgive you,
for all the pain you put me through,
I forgive you,
for all the selfish things you do.
I forgive you,
for loving me too much,
I forgive you,
for not loving me enough,
I forgive you,
for the dreams you conjured in my head,
I forgive you,
for nights spent alone in our bed,
I forgive you,
for the memories we’ll never make,
I forgive you,
for the part of me that you did take.

Starry nights shout your name,
voices screaming out in vain,
is that you under the silver moon?
ghosts of you are gone too soon.

I am so focused on possible consequences
that I stop living
and start worrying instead