yann - Hello Poetry

yann Dec 2020

and even in the highs, the lows still linger
i told you i loved myself but i'm not made of magic
my skull is thick but still,
it cracks open

i can fool me and you and them but
i have bones wrapped in twenty years of self hate,
and what is loving yourself if not screaming at mirrors and pictures and empty hands

so, please darling, sweet honey, i know i said i was okay
but dont let your words cut sharper than the blades i already plunged through my own **** skin.

one time a fried made a joke abt me that hurt way more than it should've, so i wrote this, and told him not to do it again and it was okay

#selfhate #selflove #love #words #skin #selfimage #trauma

yann Dec 2020

Genderless Love

i used to only love women and it felt like being so alone,
like not bringing your date to family gatherings by fear of
seeing the disapproval
in their eyes, in their mouths, in their words,
felt like being both the predator and the prey,
looking at hands and wanting to hold them and fearing that
the world would swallow me whole
if i did.

and now i love you, probably,
and what am i, if not lost,
unable to be contained in F or Ms,
unfit for any of your definitions,
ready to change my body just so i can stand to walk past mirrors and live my truth.
and loving a man feels much the same after all,
dangerous and real, like craving different hands
but knowing the world still has its mouth grand open,
just for me.

going from identifying as a lesbian to realizing im tranasc and probably a little in love with all my closest friends no matter their gender.. and realizing how terrifying it all is !

#genderqueer #queer #gay #love #homophobia #comingout #lesbian #friendship #growing

yann Dec 2020

Undesired

there's something a little bit heartbreaking about
never have been desired before.
does my skin repulse you,
is it the nose, the roundness of my cheeks,
the shaved hair, the hairy legs, the colors i'm proud to bear,
or is it the way i can't be held in a cage.
i am queer.
why is loving me a rebel act ?

#queer #love #desire #trans #gender #gay

yann Dec 2020

Kissing the Shame

in my head i touch your jaw tenderly,
let my hand discover you again and
then you kiss me, just to try, gentle.
is it so bad to think about,
kissing you.
maybe it's not the wild passion of romance
that burns within us but,
the soft devotion of a friendship so strong
it turns into another kind of love.
i welcome it, i'm not scared,
no part of love should be shameful,
especially when it's you.

queer friendships, you know

#queer #friendship #love #kissing #gay #passion #dream

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