Cause I'm so in love
Forbidden
Know you'll never get it
I'll just disappear into the night
I'm so in love
Betrayal
Don't care
Having to wait
Hurts a heart
Find me
Where stars blossom
In a nebula
In pink skies
In a blank page
bigger than these bones
I'm not in my head
Feeling so far away
It's like my soul went for a walk
Trying to call it back in
Knowing it's too far
So far

today i lost myself.
i had a few drinks.
i cried it all away.
being without you isn't good for me.
but i guess being with me isn't
good for you.
every day i look at your contact.
it has a yellow heart beside your name
because you said it would symbolize
the light we brought to each other's lives.
i want to hit the call button.
i want to call you up.
but what would i say?
and would you even pick up?
would you have something to say.

everyone who reads my words
probably thinks i'm completely pathetic.
why can't you just let go?
he doesn't care so why do you?

and the answer is simple.
i can't.
he was the first boy i ever loved.
the only one who understood me.
he saw my scars and didn't run.
he kissed them.
the ones that were faded along my wrists,
and the ones that were new along my hips.
he told me that he would always be around to
build me up if i fell down.

but where is he now?
about to go on tour in a different country.
and i always found the states hard,
but now he's even farther.

i suppose it'll hurt more when he's close to me.
so close that i can smell his cologne that mixed
so nicely with the axe he wore.
but so far where i can't see him.
i only picture him each and every time
i pass the hotel i last saw him in.

Wish you the best in life
Even though mine isn't so fine
I'm going through a bumpy ride

I'm sure you got it much better
It doesn't matter

This cruel life
makes me stronger

everywhere i go,
there are reminders of you.
whether it be the blue sky
that reminds me of your eyes,
or the pink cherry blossom tree,
reminding me of your lips.
the soothing melodies of ed sheeran
remind me of when you used to sing them
to me over facetime.
and any time you pop up on
my twitter or instagram timeline,
or even my youtube recommended.
it's like you're everywhere.
reminders of everything we were.
everything we could have been.
everything we weren't.

i wonder if anything reminds
you of me.
do you see your baseball cap
and remember the matching one i have?
do you ever look down at your bracelets
and smile down at the one i gave you.
do you even wear it?
do you think of me when you hear ed sheeran?
or when chasing cars by snow patrol comes
on shuffle?

do i ever even cross your mind?
i doubt it.
but unfortunately for me,
you're always on mine.

i almost bought tickets to your show today.
i wonder if you thought of me when my
city was announced.
i wonder if you prayed that i was going to show up,
or if you planned out an apology speech just in case.
or maybe you prayed i wouldn't show up,
and lucky for you, i won't.
because i know if i see you,
my heart won't be able to handle it.

but no matter how much i try to avoid you,
i know one day i'll have to face you again
so i can let go.