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xavier thomas Mar 2020
Don’t say you should’ve took that chance with me years ago-years later down the road.

Don’t ask for my food when I asked you “what you want” & you said nothing in the drive thru.

Don’t come crying to me when you regret not taking that opportunity for yourself to become something great than what you were before.

Don’t reach out for help when we both know you messed up & thought you moved on to something better.

Don’t assume I mess with multiple women as if I’m a player. I know I’m cute, however;  That’s not my style.

Don’t tell me how to run my household. Otherwise step up, put a ring on this finger, & help me pay these bills .

Don’t tell me I sleep a lot. I know that. First of all, I’m going back to sleep.

Don’t call me out of the blue asking how I’m doing when you decided to ghosted me.

Don’t congratulate me when you never supported my dream & thought I couldn’t  do it with very little money.

Don’t speak my accomplishments in a text message when behind closed doors,  you couldn’t do it face-to-face, public, nor on social media.

Don't touch my hair nor my paper

Don't give me excuses. Give me success with a team of young legends that want to build a foundation. No fake people around that cause headaches with bruises

Don’t have me pray for you when you didn’t pray with me at the dinner table.

Don’t ever think you have the upper hand in fighting me. It’s a brutality if you try to cross me.

Don’t tell me how to write when you never picked up a pin & paper. Sitting there countless of hours staring at the wall trying to figure out what to say.

Don’t think you can talk to me any kind of way & think I won’t react to your stupidity. You better watch your tongue.
Don’t test the waters
xavier thomas Mar 2020
Issue #1

High criticism in opinions
Lack of support
Overthinking situations
Mental breakdowns inside my soul
Backlash after Backlash
Trying to find my voice in this world
Yet, I hold back my tongue

Issue #2

I quit dating because my heart was torn open so many times.
Distance myself from friends because I was being taken advantage of.
Stop writing because my poems won’t change lives.
Gave up on the promise land because it’s difficult to reach.

Issue#3
Bills due monthly
Large pay check here
Short pay check there
Long shifts = Long nights
Trying to save money
Tuition due soon.

Here goes FASFA calling again....
"~Excuse me, I have to take this call"
College kid
xavier thomas Mar 2020
Mentally, i'm uncomfortable

Physically, i'm uncomfortable

Financially, i'm uncomfortable

I am an uncomfortable black man!
So yeah, i want to give up.

Until i remembered my sticky note on the mirror... "Have faith".
                                            So I keep walking
Hard times being a middle class young adult
xavier thomas Feb 2020
You wanna hang with the kid?
Well come through, I’ll be waiting for you.
I know you can’t say no to me cause I can’t say no to you.
Don’t be indecisive, be delightful.
Take your time & I’ll let you in.
Don’t pretend nor hesitate, keep that confidence.
Come take a chance with me.
I’m your lover cause I can deliver.

You ready to take this ride?
Chicago Boy
xavier thomas Feb 2020
Don’t come near my direction
You’re not fully committed
You’re heart just not in it
So why are you here?

From when we first met
To where we stand now
I told you I wanted to be here for a lifetime.

Forget a season!
There’s reason why you come & go
Because you’re just temporary now?

Blind-sided me once but never twice
Playing around like life is monopoly,
Collect $200 passing GO & continue to roll the dice 🎲
Trying to control the field thinking everything will be alright

At first, your appearance seemed innocent & sweet....

Little did you know I figured you out.
You’re nothing to me in my eyes.
She refuse to be played by any man
xavier thomas Feb 2020
She approach me with interest
We talk, get to know each other
Go on dates, get comfortable.
Both in our feelings,
now she’s scared & flee....
~Run that ****, run it back

She approach me with interest
We talk, get to know each other
Go on dates, get comfortable.
Both in our feelings,
She made things complicated & forced me to leave...
~Run that ****, run it back

She approach me with interest
We talk, get to know each other
Go on dates, get comfortable.
Both in our feelings,
She has anxiety, overthinking, PTSD, thinks I’m like the other boys, she can’t fully breathe...
~Run that ****, run it back

She approach me with interest
We talk, get to know each other
Go on dates, get comfortable.
Both in our feelings,
I message her good morning daily.
No response for a week....
~Run that ****, run it back

She approach me with interest
We talk, get to know each other
Go on dates, get comfortable.
Both in our feelings,
Found out she’s a manipulator. Control freak. Disrespectful to anyone including her parents. So I leave...
~Run that ****, run it back

She approach me with interest
We talk, get to know each other
Go on dates, get comfortable.
Both in our feelings,
She used me as backup until the person she loved was available again. Funny how I been deceived...

When will this cycle end?....
xavier thomas Feb 2020
1)Don’t assume other people are mind readers.
2)When you ask, be bold in what you want.
3)Be specific in what need & what you wanted.
4)Be clear about what you won’t tolerate.
5)Forget dropping hints.
6)You need to ditch being a Moderate.
7)A “No” is not personal.

~being direct is not being rude
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