Empty bathtub.
Where you and I sit.

The memories that were once ours.
Now stain the mirror in blue.

Slow dancing into an embrace.
Leaving marks on your neck.

No matter how much we touch.
I can never fill the gap.

How can you bathe without water?
We sit - exposed.

You kick me for something I did.
I light up a cigarette.

Screaming in my ear.
Something about cheating.

I pop open a bottle of whiskey.
And pour it in the bathtub.

You ask to break up.
You found another man.

When you leave I can finally breathe.
I stretch in the bath.

It feels a little empty.
I pour more *****.

So many people.
Have been bathed with me.

None with water.
None pleasantly.

Still, even now.
Every body reminds me of you.

I remember your smile.
Your smell.

I’m tired of this by now.
So I lie down in the bath.

And let it overflow.

Fingers intertwined.
Even on a hot, Summer day.

Kicking our legs that hide under tables.
Hands reaching for one another.

This moment.
Is brief.
I think I recognise this.
But how do I know?

Kissing under a pale moonlight.
Or curled up, binging movies when it rains.

Being competitive.
Being affectionate.

This brief moment.
Is so familiar.
I’m scared I’m getting ahead.
Oh, how do I know?

When you said my name.
For the very first time.

I saw a twinkle.
In your eyes.

This throbbing in my chest.
I recognise this.
Ah.
That’s how you know.

She’s your love.

I can feel my heart beat through my chest.
Engulfed with the loneliness inside.
I peer around, looking everywhere.
Where have you gone?

I play hide-and-seek.
With the demons in my mind.
They hide in the crooks and crannies.
Being impossible to find.

Let’s play tag.
One, two, three, go!

I caught my nostalgia.
Then my trauma.
They merge together.
Forming blacked out memories.

****** up memories.
I’d longed to forget.
It’s a bittersweet feeling.
Leaving a sour aftertaste.

They bound my wrists.
Unable to flee.

With two options in front of me.
I pick the easiest.
To drink the toxic drink.
To forget about them again.

With one swift gulp.
The memories faded.
Back in the darkness.
Back in the solitude.

With arms bound, and wrists blue.
I will always creep to you.

With a muzzle, like a dog.
I always treat you like a god.

Licking at your feet.
Gnawing at your meat.

You go in,  four fingers deep.
Your love what I yearn to keep.

When bound to you.
I feel so brand new.

Please hide me away.
Your bed is where I lay.

Legs stretching on silk.
As I swallow up your milk.

I need more.
I get down on fours.

You kick me down into the dirt.
It hurts whenever you insert.

Yet it’s your body I desire.
Moans in sync like a choir.

I can feel your heat deep inside me.
Nails on your back, digging with glee.

I fall asleep amongst the chain.
I wake up with the muzzle again.

Blaring sirens and flashing lights.

Make it hard to concentrate.

On the traintrack.

There are multiple paths.

I must decide which I go down today.

Tomorrow, again and again.

The road is covered in a thin layer of rain.

Making it slippery.

A dangerous ‘venture.

The horns blare louder.

The lights blur my vision.

If I can’t take a path.

I should make one on my own.

The train is coming.

The end is in sight.

And I jump down onto the tracks.

Sometimes at night.
I look at the glistening sky.
The sky shines bright with thousands of stars.
Each one of them reminds me of you.

One star is your eye, shining when you’re happy.
Another one is your mouth, your pearly teeth when you smile.
Yet another star for your big, blooming heart.
And one more, a flashing star, for your silky laugh.

Sometimes we meet in my dreams.
We hold hands and dance on a road of stars.
We count the stars as we step.
And by the end of the road, I’ve woken up.

These stars and these dreams are all I have.
Since you live across the sea.
But know that I would travel far and wide.
Just to hear your laugh again.

You make me so happy I can barely breathe.
It’s hard to describe the way you make me feel.
Even through poetry.
You leave me wordless.

That’s why this poem.
Is a bit messy.
A bit wild.
Pretty all over the place.

Because there are so few words.
To describe how special.
And important.
You are to me.

I know I say it a lot.
But I really do love you.
And the day you said it back.
Was the best day of my life.

These stars and these dreams.
They’re enough for now.
Because one day.
I’ll be there.

Taking a plane across the world.
Just to see you smile.
Then those stars won’t compare.
To the most beautiful sight before me.

All those nights we spent.
Watching movies and shows.
Sometimes just straight up skits.
I cherish them all.

Your smile.
Your laugh.
The way you make me feel.
Is unexplainable.

You leave me breathless.
It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment.
That I fell in love with you.

Maybe it started when we first spoke?
Your funny jokes, the stories you'd tell.
Or perhaps it was recently?
Because whenever you speak my heart pounds.

It's almost suffocating.
It's kind of masochistic.
How you make my heart burn and ache.
Yet I never wish for it to stop.

I lay awake at night.
Watching the shooting stars.
I wish for your safety, your happiness.
All of the above.

Maybe when I wish upon a star.
You can feel my love.
I hope that with every wish I make.
My love becomes more apparent.

I know, that across all timelines.
Across all universes.
My love for you will never falter.
You, to me, are the embodiment of hope.

The embodiment of everything good.

This poem was a little cheesy.
I'd apologise but my words are sincere.
There's still a weight pressed onto me.
So I'd let to let it out.

Thank you for all the laughs.
All the love you've given me.
The only thing I have to ask.
Is will you go out with me?