All those nights we spent.
Watching movies and shows.
Sometimes just straight up skits.
I cherish them all.

Your smile.
Your laugh.
The way you make me feel.
Is unexplainable.

You leave me breathless.
It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment.
That I fell in love with you.

Maybe it started when we first spoke?
Your funny jokes, the stories you'd tell.
Or perhaps it was recently?
Because whenever you speak my heart pounds.

It's almost suffocating.
It's kind of masochistic.
How you make my heart burn and ache.
Yet I never wish for it to stop.

I lay awake at night.
Watching the shooting stars.
I wish for your safety, your happiness.
All of the above.

Maybe when I wish upon a star.
You can feel my love.
I hope that with every wish I make.
My love becomes more apparent.

I know, that across all timelines.
Across all universes.
My love for you will never falter.
You, to me, are the embodiment of hope.

The embodiment of everything good.

This poem was a little cheesy.
I'd apologise but my words are sincere.
There's still a weight pressed onto me.
So I'd let to let it out.

Thank you for all the laughs.
All the love you've given me.
The only thing I have to ask.
Is will you go out with me?

Counting the steps you take.
Your fingers touching mine.
These walls I built up over time.
Slowly, you take them down.

This violent facade.
Eating me up inside.
I want to scream but I can't.
This is who I am now.

I distance myself.
Scared of getting hurt.
But you approached me.
And became my world.

I still detest how I acted back then.
I pushed you away.
When you tried to understand.
But the facade I made.

Crumbled down.

The only one I loved.
The only one I trusted.
You stood there, captivated by me.
Wishing I wouldn't go.

Everybody's words.
Like swords that cut deep.
I can't forgive them.
Can I even forgive myself?

So I let go of the anxieties.
Because despite my actions.
My true nature is love.
I love you, Shuichi - this is to be known.

These lies I built as walls of protection.
Break down and cover me.
Suffocate me.
I let myself be crushed under the weight.

Much like a hydraulic press.

Even after death, I will still love you.
You spoke to me, loathed me.
But I still love you.
And that will never change.

You ask why I lied.
I lie all the time.
It's my only defence.
From the people outside.

I know you don't understand.
Maybe you never will.
But that's okay.
My heart is open for you to accept.

After all,

"I" am just a "lie" that makes up "me."

Dancing in the rain.
With your coat drooping off me.

You smile at me.
And it shines like the moon.

Counting the steps we take.
Every minute feels like an hour.

Your hand in mine.
Makes my whole body warm.

I wish this evening could last forever.
With your lips interlocked with mine.

Poking at the fat on my thighs.
Laughing at all our quirks the whole day.

Binging movies and sharing drinks.
Playing with your hair during a thunderstorm.

Even though the world is cold.
You warm me up.

So I curl up with your wet coat.
And dream of that night again.

I can hear the crunching of your skull.
The remnants of it being split on the road.
I frantically take all the pieces.
And pull out my glue.

I can barely recognise you.
Your face is a mass of ****** and broken bones.
Your warm hand is now stone cold.
And your fingers feel like twigs.

The scars that cover your body are no more.
All the flesh you were full of is gone.
All that's left is skin and bone.
And your beautiful face remains in my memories.

I hug the rags that you wore.
They still smell like you.
But now I've stained them.
With tears like a salty sea.

I can't rebuild your bones.
Because I know I'd snap them accidentally.
My glue isn't that strong.
Because my heart's already breaking.

If you're a saint, I'm a sinner.
I'm willing to do anything for you.

Pools of blood drip from my wrist.
It's a spicy and agonising feeling.

You lick it all up.
Pushing me down inside you.

Love hurts like a *****.
Guess we must be sadistic.

Every morning is a break for the wicked.
Because I lay with you in comfortable silence.

But I know that you'll let go.
Untangle your fingers and flee.

But you'll always come back.
Because without my blood you're thirsty.

I have so many worries.
Anxieties.
That I just can't escape.
They flood my brain.
Controlling my memories.

I keep up the facade.
That I'm stable.
Happy, nice.
But I'm not.
I'm anything but.

I break down every night.
Because of you.
My tears stain my face.
Because of you.
I don't know what to say.
Because of you.

You never meant to hurt me.
I never meant to hurt you.
But in the end.
We wound up hurting each other.
We were the monsters they warned us about.

The dark clouds, wrapping themselves around us.
Only engulfing us in sadness.
So I keep on crying.
Because the more I do.
The more the dark lets go of you.

You don't know.
But I do.
With each tear I drop.
The monster consuming me.
Will eventually.
Swallow me whole.

What defines love?

It's viewed differently when compared to every other person.
I could say love is an intimate feeling.
While you could persist that it's non-existent.

What does love really mean?

I believe love means you're willing to devote your life to a certain person.
It's an intimate feeling - but it comes with stress and fear.
But you can rest easy if you know the other party involved loves you too.

What does it mean if you don't love someone enough?

Is that a real thing?
Because I tried my hardest.
But it wasn't enough.