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Edna Sweetlove Mar 2015
This poem is dedicated to the memory of Admiral Albert "*****" Potter who displayed amazing bravery by wearing full drag through several major sea battles.  He was cashiered for insisting the Admiralty rename his ship HMS Butch instead of HMS Fearless. In fact the vessel was eventually renamed HMS Damp **** because it was full of ******.

A life on the ocean wave, **!
In the olden days of sail
When England's ships were proud and brave
And their crews were very male.

The Captain stood upon his bridge
Looking smart and flash;
But below the decks, the orders were
*** and *** and the lash.

The bosun went to the main gunroom,
**** Deadeye at the ready;
Initiation time had come
For little midshipman Freddy.

"Strap him o'er that cannon, lads!"
Roared the hirsute fellow,
"Gag his mouth securely, lads,
In case he tries to bellow!"

The sailors did as he had bid -
Refused and they'd be punished -
And they knew their turn would come
After the bosun had finished.

The bosun went up the poor young lad
And soon was going strong;
Midshipman Fred looked rather pained -
The Bosun was THICK and LONG.

Then came the turn of the other men
And they set to with a will;
Little Fred could not say no
Until they'd had their fill.

What a life our sailors had then,
Always singing shanties;
When men were men and big and butch
And cabin boys wore silk *******.

A life on the ocean wave, **!
With the rolling sea and the spray.
Sinking the Frogs and murdering Wogs
Kept England's sailors so gay.

OLÉ!  OLÉ!  OLÉ!  OLÉ!  OLÉ!  *
OLÉ!
If I could write my thoughts
You may not quite understand
For the words we are stapled with
Seem ridiculously bland

Music flows like colours to beat
Hypnotising my soul, sparking my senses
Controlling my body I'll jump to my feet
Unimportance of visuals like seeing through lenses

If emotionally moved why not be 'fantabulous'
Eyes closed I see clearer and all is so peachy
Bisto relates to Sunday but life is better gravy
Grey Monday's depress but not 'Grey..You get me?

Just separate your instincts of colours and such
Words are just letters You'll see in a bit
Brains installed with viral fake mush
Some never stray from the path of life's Pit

So blasphemy like '*******, **** and ****
Bad letters because swearing is ...wrong?
The four letter 'C' word the worst though admit
Cos **** is just letters made worse for too long

Sue is my name all over the world
Yet Mum can be Mom, Dad, Pa, Pere
If taught **** for Mum wisdom are not pearls
Red is not hot blue is not cold transparent unclear

So simply my mind see's what's gone so wrong
To un -train what's been taught like losing a limb
People are 'Crazy' to not follow and conform!
Don't get the page yet? read on its no sin

Fantabulously individually Humans
My DNA matches no others so why  march to the tip TOP beat
How beautiful we are 'ALL' Races of humans, Us
The recent power crazed gave racism a ******

****, Racism, diets, Religion
War, Rich, Poor, just made up words
Humans empathetic risers to imagine
No hate, selfishness, Malice in Humans that's Absurd!

Do we find Racial abuse amongst Dogs, Cats and such
So many species but a ***** is a ***** regardless of colour
Rabbits in the wild don't live in a hutch
Straying the point lets try to mull over

From born colour coded, numbered and named
Associated colours, Pink Girls, Blue Boys
Lemon and white if scans are waylaid
Colours are just preferences or visual noise

Taught to be the best you can be
Strive to the top, the higher, the best
Already are wedging the You and the Me
Hang on..Oh look.. I come from the 'West'

How hard to be taught to embrace our uniqueness
Respect, Love and cherish the short time we're here
Selflessly love, change this bare rotten bleakness
Humanity release this dark You enslave

No rich or poor just balanced and happy
Heinz not for me still love store brand
Caviare Hallooga Ballooga, Whatever, Really?
If not jisting my drift now... You're not of this land!?...


All I'm saying is we are all unique so live life to the full, embrace love and happiness, help others where you can, be selfless, respect costs nothing as does a smile, no need for fad dieting, embrace your unique self, let's strive to make Humans be the best we can be but embrace the journey together, life is not a competition or a race, beauty can not be visualised or bought, true beauty 'can' be the ugly ducling surrounded by selfish nasty swans.  Feel the love in all Humans globally.  The one's who lead us at the tippedy top have been hypnotised by some othre in-humane greedy, selfish sub species, who I shall name the darkness and unknown fear we only feel, because remember to visualise is irrelevant to our existence , it's through our feelings, fears and thoughts they attack first, causing panic amongst the trustworthy of our so called Governments.  If they all wanted the best for us then by al means pull together as ONE Government, but to diminish the value of money is just a way of controlling us, keeping the rich rich and richer and making the poor the lowest, ,maybe now homeless **** in society we all feel uncomfortable around?  If all houses cost the same, all wages paid the same rate and no unnecessary taxes to park a vehicle, drive the vehicle, toll costs when in the same country and no tax on wages...What they spending that **** on? We already pay tax on the area we live, yes roadworks, police, fire crews, New Homes even, street improvements have to be funded by tax to pay wages... fair enough.  No taxing us on our hard worked, underpaid jobs that we lose blood sweat and tears over and lets face it 3/4 of that goes back into the government with tv licence, overpriced food, tobacco, extortionate fuel companies conning you out ya money with standing charges and charging you more kw for the £ on the ever gracious £5-8 emergency they put on pre payment machines.  Then If your lucky enough to have worked and lived an average life you can buy your own house which you pay of untill your pension years.... god forbid you need residential care if u lose your mind or you can kiss your financial future for your kids cos that care don't come under the good old NHS.... and is soooooo over priced and understaffed by mostly aliens of society that the government take the house and money to pay for their care???? ******* rediculous.  And of course when U die you have to pay a % of the value of that house to the government.....for?? Yea what the **** for? My house? Go **** yourself!...The free bus pass don't cut it, the discount priced fish and chips DON'T cut it!!

You know the thing that grates me the most? TV Advertisements, e.g Washing powder ads.... 10 years ago it removed 'all' stains and made whites whiter than white... now 10 years on and Fantabulously new and improved with colour protection and stain, bomb, bullet proof...Yes you have guessed it, makes whites 'even' whiter! ha.. white is white it don't get whiter.....all scams for money....stick a trusted celebrity in the ad....and you could sell chocolate teapots to the masses...

My Motto..... Eat well, live life, embrace our imperfections cos perfection is unreachable, unachievable and installed into us to get more money, more power, more **** knows?  Don't be ruled by the soldiers and the puppets of society, believe in what you like and respect that others may not always agree with you but we are entitled to our opinion, not everyone is going to agree, that's what makes us different, never seen a war starting over country A likes coffee Country B likes Tea....lets go to war to battle it out....Make war against the law... would solve asylum seekers, ad that god dam racism word, bring back golly Wogs and baa baa black sheep...ridiculous...my childhood was when thatcher was in reign.... oh how the man 'o' species let 1 woman come into power and claim she ****** it..... anyway straying again...Wake up People Freedom is lost,  lets not let them take our souls too!!
Sean Aug 2015
The Italian coast is a dangerous place for an American
Its full of sharks, so I’ve heard.
Englishmen consider the wogs chums
Americans more as the singular
With a hat from Chile,
pants assembled in Mexico,
and bananas grown in Venezuela,
The whole seems to be  lesser than its parts.
Brent Kincaid Dec 2015
Go on, young soldier
Go where we say and die.
Take this gun and shoot,
Don’t bother to ask why.
Carry on this war we wage
Though it doesn’t make sense.
We invade anyone we want
And then call it all defense.

Go on, airmen and women.
Climb into expensive planes.
Fly over countries, drop bombs.
Don’t expect anyone to explain.
Line up ground targets well
In your high-power sights.
We have declared them enemies
And they don’t have rights.

Sail on, you navy people.
Turn their seas into ours.
Help our country reduce them
To rubble and dead in mere hours.
Transport equipment and personnel
And help them change things,
Then go to free ports on R and R
And buy your sweethearts rings.

Tromp on, military machine.
Make the world into the USA.
After all, they’re just wogs
And don’t have a thing to say.
If they were worthwhile people
They would be from back home.
Places like Akron, L.A. and Nome.

But they are not real people or
They would not get in our way
And try to stop our holy advance
To be the only people to stay.
When this endless war is done
We will be all that remains.
Be part of the American way, and
**** or get killed for your pains.
Fish The Pig Oct 2013
Cyrious.
                        My own Spelling.
Polly Wogs and Knick Knacks.
Goldfish and Brac-A-Brac
            I remember you. I’d love for you.
If it makes any sense
            My Thoughts Where Have They Gone?
Tell you know I’D.
It’s just a bridge, there is nothing here.
            The perfect is the biggest imperfection.


I MISS THE OLD DAYS,
            Times of pure nostalgia

It was Laughing and play all day
            Till we left and went our own ways.

You remember it
            I tell you, I miss it too
The fun times,
            When everything seemed okay everything was right.
Always tell, we put each other up in a fight.

            I can remember when there were many
                        AND.
We had our loved ones close by.
            Carpool and late night swims
Neighbors knocking at our door
            Making too much noise stomping on the floor

            But now, It’s gone, It’s all too quiet.
Neighbors, they wonder, if I’m even here.
            I question, what ever happened.
Life. No matter.
            If we’re standing still.
It will go on,

            Without us here
Little impact makes it clear.
            If there’s a point
Please take me to it.
                        I disappear as the last match is lit. .

Silver Bands on your finger
            Are we the same in one?
Perhaps it is no one à perhaps everything is undone.
                        The thoughts the Thoughts.
They swarm in our minds.
            Are they confusing?

Listen to them all at once.
            They say Practice Makes perfect,
But no one is perfect, so there is no need to Practice.
            Pretty Girls and Silent Boys, they all cry.
The good, the bad, the inanimate, they all die.

            We like to think we all have our part.
That when we die there is a torn up heart.
                        But that’s not true.
There is nothing to lose.
                      
            For no matter how hard we try.
Un-Important and Fleeting is our story,
And there is nothing we can do.
kirk Oct 2017
What the hell has happened to the adverts on our TV screens?
When Our teeth shined with Sensodine, Colgate and Mccleans
Kinder made surprising eggs and Heinz Meanz tinned Baked Beans
Fairy Liquid lasted longer, houses cleaned with Mr Sheens
Daz Automatic, Surf and Ariel washed clothes in our machines
Which brings me to that buff hunky guy washing Levi jeans

Winalot and Pedagree where good food for our dogs
Robinson's Jam old icon was mascot Golly wogs
Fudge fingers where just enough to give our kids a treat
Not even a Black Hole could eat three Shredded Wheat
Gillette was the best shave, that a man could get
Happiness was achieved, with a cigar called Hamlet
Surfing was the mark of a man, the fragrance of Old Spice
Brut had an unbeatable smell even Henry Cooper smelt quite nice
You know when where Tangoed when your slapped in the chop
Magic begun when we heard the fun of Snap Crackle and Pop
"Hey I'd love a Babycham" in that cool smooth cocktail pub
Biscuits had a lot of chocolate when you joined their Club
The Honey Monster told his mummy to tell us about the Honey
Taking it easy with a Caramel from that **** Cadburys Bunny
Leonard Rossiter and Joan Collins had Cinzano on a plane
The secret lemonade drinker sneaked downstairs for R Whites again
If you know what's good for you, you would eat Weetabix
Chimpanzees did all kinds things for the taste of PG tips
Turkish Delight had eastern promise her hair he had to stroke
You where in love for the very first time when you drank a Coke
If you had a Mars a day we where helped to work, rest and play
A secret agent risked everything because the lady loved Milk Tray

The quest of a silent messenger in case you had forgot
Seeking for the timeless taste of the larger of Lamot
Carling had the three in one with the cowboy in the west
From love songs to soap powder Black Label was the best
Searching for Fly Fishing  J R Hartley got downhearted
Good old Yellow Pages is where he should have started
Garath Hunt had Nescafe he shook the coffee bean
With Una Stubbs and Sarah Green and even Diane Keen
The cute Kid with the glasses he was strong and tough
The Milky Bars are on him, the best where good enough

What do we get on our screens in our modern time
All of the ads are terrible their broadcast is a crime
All you are providing is the same old ******* grime
Ramming the same thing down our throat like an hourly chime
Its the same as TV programming there's nothing that is prime
With all the cheap reality shows there boring and just slime

What is it with the crap Go Compare to many in this set
The PPI's and Clear Score there all a public social threat
Too many online Bingo sites it seems they took all they could get
All these loans and gambling its no wonder people are in debt

Cillit Bang it sounded good when used by Barry Scott
Boy that stuff can't really work cos he had a ****** lot
I don't think it was all that good and not so very hot
If its in the cheep shop I may give it a small shot

The Gtech cordless vacuum it simply has no class
With its 40 minuet run time I think id rather pass
It doesn't seem that powerful I know this may seem harsh
Break free from the Gtech Air Ram and ram it up your ****

And all those crap insurance ads I really do despair
Especially that ******* opera singer singing Go Compare
With his stupid ****** false moustache, Tuxedo and black hair
Get rid of this obnoxious guy and nobody cares where

All those ****** ******* adverts they have on nowadays
nothing like the larger ads or the man with the milk trays.
all you get is insurance ads none of which that pays
or loans that you don't ******* want or any of their strays

Get rid of all these ****** ads put them on the shelf
I don't mean to appear arrogant, I could do better myself
Stop melting our minds, we cant shield our minds in stealth
To many poor folks sat at home with messed up mental health
All you execs make millions your only interested in wealth
And reinstate some proper ads stop thinking of yourself

So bring back all the old ads they where more amusing
Inventive and informative more things for the choosing
Not like they are today all boring, some confusing
Monotonous and self obsessed you only end up snoozing
Always going with the flow with all the same ads cruising
Come on all you ad execs its the public that your losing
kirk Nov 2021
Poor old Uncle Ben, looks like you have been fired
Get off our product packaging, your no longer required
Years of service would suggest, that you were once admired
But loyalty no longer counts, when your status has expired

Once you we're respected, and you didn't have to brag
I don't know why your suddenly, classed as a red flag?
They want to erase history, but their voices need a gag
A disrespect for microwaves, and rice boiled in the bag

Society no longer wants you, that much is surley proved
Do black lives really matter, when it's black that's being removed?
It doesn't make things better, and there's nothing that's improved
You can't substitute your ignorance, in the hope the world gets soothed

Why has he been targeted, why is it so precise?
Uncle Ben has been removed, from long and whole grain rice
Seventy years no way a slave, now he has paid the price
You have no thoughts, you've followed suit, you've taken bad advice

Your face must be offensive, cos they've played the racist card
This is the reason your now banned, and why you have barred
Paddy fields have felt your pain, they've taken the news hard
But it's not just blacks and foreigners, that's emotionally scarred

It doesn't matter what you change, or if old relatives discarded
He'll still be known as "Uncle Ben", he's too highly regarded
Whoever thought of this idea, they must be quite *******
Do you think your being diverse, when the public are bombarded?

Where is your proof or evidence, that the futures more inclusive?
It's not so stereotypical, when that club is non exclusive
You prattle on like pensioners, but your uncle's now illusive
How hypocritical can you be, when nothings that conclusive

Don't cause community divide, don't move things out of sight
Why do you exile darker skins, it simply is not right
Maybe it's your nature, and it's you that's not too bright
I wouldn't out of irony, ship them to the Isle of White

I fail to see the difference, with your product interference
Why are people in minority, scheduled for a massive clearance?
Perhaps you have a dislike, and you love race disappearance
The trouble is your arguments, have no sense of coherence

Who's next on the agenda, Who suffers the next chop?
Can I expect a range of goods, absent from the shop?
I hope "Aunt Bessie" won't succumb, to names that you will drop
Manhandled of her dumplings prove, that this madness should stop

Lunacy is on the rise, with the things that you endorse
Is "Meena" safe from tyranny, will you stop her at the sauce?
Or will korma be victorious, without the use of deadly force
With senseless attitudes of today, we'll find out in due course

I think that in all honesty, you've taking things too far
Even Disney's lost its faith, in Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah
"Uncle Remus" can no longer, wish upon a star
Despite the fact they said it makes, no difference who you are?

Your excuses are not valid, so I couldn't give two hoots
Footwear is getting tighter, cos your too big for your boots
I wouldn't be at all surprised, if you dispose of "Levi Roots"
No more music on your food, and there's no real substitutes

Scapegoats come in many forms, through all our uphill slogs
To save us getting in a jam, they ditched the golly wogs
It started many moons ago, with the grinding of lifes cogs
But it wasn't worth the effort, now we've gone to the dogs

Who thought of "Ben's Original", that name is just the worst
It's quite clear that "Uncle Ben", simply got there first
Originality isn't something, that is planned and then rehearsed
Your led away like mindless sheep, and your obviously cohorst

There's nothing wrong with Uncles, or a packet that shows faces
Especially when they depict, a span of different races
I'll only purchase Uncle Ben's, with intact ethnic traces
We don't want contradictory claims, with "Original" as their bases

I think I'll switch to bachelors, or even shops own brand
Cos I can't stand the way you treat, the ethnics of our land
Why drown yourself In petulance, why try to get things banned?
Your attitude just goes to show, that you are underhand

You didn't mind old Ben's face, when you raked in the cash
It seems to me your acting dumb, and being far to rash
Why is "Uncle " so offensive, and the cause if rice backlash?
Your suffering from vindictiveness, and a sense of being brash

Jars of cooking sauces, now have something they all lack
The distinguished face of a man, who happens to be black!
He is a childhood icon, and he should be brought right back
And never mind the unaoriginal, with "Original" on the pack

Don't rip away the legacy, of a man from way back when
Actions taken do more harm, more now than they did then
Take my advice just leave things be, and don't mention it again
Cos I don't think it's very fare, on poor old Uncle Ben
Following the news concerning the change of "Uncle Ben's" to "Ben's Original" I thought I would share my views and as you will see I strongly disagree with the change. I believe it's more offensive by the removel of things that have been in place for years or decades, history should be preserved and embraced not erased. Uncle Ben is a national icon and should be treated as such instead of trying to erase him from existence altogether, attitudes such as this have gone to far and everytime they remove a statue or a word that's suddenly offensive or in this case a face from a packet or product it only draws more attention to something that wasn't even thought about before the complaints started to roll in but once one complaint is received the band waggon is truly on the road full of all the snowflakes and it's about time they all melted
"With our boxes of matches and our necklaces we shall liberate this country." -- Winnie Mandela, April 13, 1986 (Necklaces are tires filled with gasoline placed around the necks of bound political opponents and set aflame.)

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