9th month

September2013:
blue skys
warm air
at night it would go cold
the autumn leaves slowly started to fall
still rained from the summer
and the cold wind
started to chill us to the bone

On the first week
i walked to my friends house
with Zoe and her french exchange student Elise on my side,
we waked into Zoes house and sat in the kitchen
Elise had an apple with peanut butter
Me and Zoe  Had Soup
We walked after to a little River bank,
Elise sat on the rocks
i skipped flat rocks like Amelie Poulain
Zoe took picutres of the river.
We found a ripped dollar bill with a phone number written on it
Zoe texted it, no answer
it rained later that evening
i reasted on my bed and thought about the day
with a smile

i Biked to my favorite field
one evening...
recited a poem i made up in my head
the one line that i repeted was
" Will the love of Fall and Winter choose me this year?"
a week later a girl named Kirsten walked into my life
with a smile and wave, i wanted to meet her
we talked one day and planned to go to my favorite field
on a Friday..Friday the 13th..not so unlucky
though i cut myself shaving
i went to go meet her that friday
i walked down the stairs
there she was at the bottom of the stair case
"What will become of us?"i thought
She facing the other way,
i wondered if we would become friends
I tapped her on the shoulder
turned around with a surpised look
then she gave me a warm smile
We went to the field
sat in a childrens park
Then sat in the grass that melted in the sun
i showed her a leaf that looked like a heart
..i kept it under my hat...
i walked her home, she lived close by
i gave her a hug and left with a smile on my face
Got home and put the heart leaf on my wall

We became friends
Talked everyday
i would walk her home
and meet her in the field
as i came in riding my bike
She kissed me before i left...

I started to fancy  her
she to started fancy me
I asked if she would be mine
she told me wait
i said " i will!"

Nights came
when we walked around looking the stars and  looking at the city lights
laying the grass and runnning around
we were happy
The night was ours
She kissed me goodnight
i went home
fell upon my flower my bed
and dreamed of her...

I saw a little crab coming out the sea
snail shell greeting me.
I saw a ladybug
******* and welcoming
me on the beach.

Then I bathed in the luminous
sun rays naked.
Bare beauty of existence:

I let the lady bug go                
near the coast
to climb on the finest bush branch.
Thank you, happy-go-lucky!
I go as well. . . sweet lady

I saw grey green *****
running into the shade
hiding among sea rock
cracks. . .sea waves splashing over them.

I saw a lonely seagull staring at me
thoughtfuly aware. This reserve sharp,
piercing gaze surpised me ~ thinking:
"Who is this-lady occupying my bay?"

Then the seagull flew away landing
nearby on the baby waves, swaying
with a natural rhythm, drifting, white,
away, still aware of my presence.

I had to draw him within my mind
to capture the curve of his beak
and the orange yellow shade, eyes
thinking of other eyes, masculinity.

The body was The Livingston.  Pure
bonus. Of living. I saw all human beings
have this yearning soul, wanting to be
happy. Every inner light glows beautifully.

*Thank you ~ Majestic Universe! We are
never alone! Interconnected I am, happy,
content, loving each rock, pebble, soil~
tree, person, sunrise~music~sunset!
Every ripple's interference phenomena
caused by these amazing alive beings.
Morning around. . .

I was always one for subtelty
but this was almost too easy
Click went the locking mechanism
Shattering the lock
Almost too easy
As behind me it silently shuts
Follow your scent
Through the sterile halls
A pin drop
Security gaurd Mag light
Down a quiet dark corridor
I cover my mouth with my hand
To cover the laughter as i hide
Almost too easy
I FIND IT
The door opens
This is almost surreal
I feal the cold
My breath is a cloud
So quickly in and out
Stiffling laughter
My wide begging eyes
Jessica
I shake with anticipation
The cold habdle beneath my skin
The bag
The frost
Unzip
white flesh
red hair
blue lips
purple veins
i am at a loss
for words
as i stand above you frozen
Still with you
I will die here
warmth on your translucent skin
was it my finger
Or that of another
that traced the outline of your black lips
or the frozen glaciers of your hip bones

Suddenly a light behind me
The gaurd screams stop
I laugh hysterically
i can no longer hold in my euphoria
No one will take you from me again
not even the stone hands of your step-father
i scream wide eyed
With resolution
and speed that surpised even me
My fingers curl about the handle of a scalpel
Left so carelessly out on the counter
By the morticians assistant
on his first day
a bullet rips me through my shoulder
but i fear no pain
i am no coward for you
no fear as i close in beneath the white flourescnent lights
No one will seperate us again
the warmth of the spray
black puddle against the tile so white
Your eyelids flutter
as i watch my final breath condense befoere my eyes
A cloud
my final breath
I fall asleep at your side
Eternal

When the truth and my wisdom isnt what you wanna hear,
you wish for me to sit back while it crumbles my dear?
Ive cared and been around for all that youve been through,
but this is now a choice, that your choosing to do,
how am I supoosed to have sympathy for you,
when you go back to him even after all you knew.
After he breaks your heart you act like you regret it,
but then I see him in our house, did you already forget it?
You say I cant deny the way you guys connect,
but you cant believe that passion is worth all the neglect.
Hes controlling, neurotic, you say he likes to overprotect,
protecting isnt your phone and your facebook he just checked.
He leaves you for another, over text no doubt,
flaunts his new piece at your job, with you about.
you run off and cry, so surpised and hurt,
then the next day hes sorry, with you he flirts.
Awe how sweet, I swear hes changed this time!
Hmm, why do I feel like ive heard this line.
Ive been there for every fall,
and it always ends the same,
us fighting cuz I dont want her to play his stupid game.
But theres not much else at this point anyone can do. Shes made her mind up.
Shes thought it through.
Shes going to keep him around,
but when it all goes to heck,
this time all I can say is,
what did you expect?

oh i knew the day i got a peak at ya body
i was gonna have dreams of me being naughty
well today's the day my dream will come true
and it starts in this room with me and you
were both virgins,
were both ready
my goal is to make yo body bust like confetti
shhhh baby let the music play
while my hands caress your body bay

let me undress you slow
while i kiss you soft
yea go with flow
cause imma set the mood off
kissing on your neck
down to ya breast,
you no what comes next
this the definition of real ***
shhhhh baby no need to tell me things
i know you like it when that tongue play with your belly ring

next I come down to ya thighs
going down your legs,
when i get between i see your wet that's no surprise
your body's like my jungle
i'm the last survivor
feel so much heat,
i might just be ya fire fighter
so when she see me going through it i surpised her
your body's my intense,
so im giving it great sastisfaction
you know you wasn't ready for this ***** eating action
your body's my problem,
and imma solve it no math fractions
this not a movie but we both giving plenty action

you really thinking imma keep on *******
put them legs around my waist its time to start *******
see baby were no longer dreaming
as im stroking it back to back your loudly screaming
little did i know,
she turned over on top
riding on me fast,
like she don't even wanna stop
i swear i wanna make her my only girl in this city
as she rides me i start ******* on both her ******
once she stopped i'll admit i thought she was done
then when she put it in my face,
i seen the battle wasnt won
dang she got me lost inside with no map
even tried to escape but my heads trapped
im not giving up,
this not a battle meant for losing
got me ******* on ya **** as body oozing

hate to say it but im almost going down
this girl trying her best to make me drown
i finally see shes tryna be tough
so i puwhile i hit her from behind
it feels so right we wish that we could rewindt her hands behind her back

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Sweet Rosemary has never really been in love
She’s a beautiful girl and she’s always searching for someone
But in her loneliest of times she gave herself away
To a boy that never deserved to touch her
Because he never thought that much of her
And she deserves so much better
Now she feels more regret than ever

Pretty Lily is caught between her own feelings
Between the perfect man and her old sweetheart
But he broke her heart years ago
The memory of him is enticing
And the other one is leaving soon
And she doesn’t know what to do
She’s more confused than ever

Gabriel likes Lily but she has no idea
As he watches her slip further away from him
And he’s losing hope of ever being loved again
And we have this in common
As we feel our chances slipping from our fingers
We are closer than ever

And Angel loves a boy across the ocean
The boy broke his heart and told him it would never work
But he never stops calling and leaving messages
He just keeps breaking his sweet little heart
And I tell him if it’s really love then distance shouldn’t matter
And he misses him more than ever

And I loved the boy who left me for so long
Until I met a new one and I thought I was saved
But I was so afraid of showing how I felt
That I let it fall to pieces before it ever got off the ground
And now I’m more afraid than ever

I’m so used to being treated like I’m nothing
That when I finally see how good it could be I’m surpised
And I realize how it should be
Between a man and a woman
I deserved so much better than he ever gave me
And I should be happy that he doesn’t want me
But I just feel more alone than ever.

I am often surpised
by how deeply
I can be hurt.
Often I forget
that not all of me
is skeleton.
Your pain is greater than mine?
Make sure
to stab me
at least one more time.
Or at least
til we're even.