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"rictus" poems
The night is only a sort of carbon paper, Blueblack, with the much-poked periods of stars Letting in the light, peephole after peephole -- A bonewhite light, like death, behind all things. Under the eyes of the stars and the moon's rictus He suffers his desert pillow, sleeplessness Stretching its fine, irritating sand in all directions. Over and over the old, granular movie Exposes embarrassments--the mizzling days Of childhood and adolescence, sticky with dreams, Parental faces on tall stalks, alternately stern and tearful, A garden of buggy rose that made him cry. His forehead is bumpy as a sack of rocks. Memories jostle each other for face-room like obsolete film stars. He is immune to pills: red, purple, blue -- How they lit the tedium of the protracted evening! Those sugary planets whose influence won for him A life baptized in no-life for a while, And the sweet, drugged waking of a forgetful baby. Now the pills are worn-out and silly, like classical gods. Their poppy-sleepy colors do him no good. His head is a little interior of grey mirrors. Each gesture flees immediately down an alley Of diminishing perspectives, and its significance Drains like water out the hole at the far end. He lives without privacy in a lidless room, The bald slots of his eyes stiffened wide-open On the incessant heat-lightning flicker of situations. Nightlong, in the granite yard, invisible cats Have been howling like women, or damaged instruments. Already he can feel daylight, his white disease, Creeping up with her hatful of trivial repetitions. The city is a map of cheerful twitters now, And everywhere people, eyes mica-silver and blank, Are riding to work in rows, as if recently brainwashed.
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15.4k
Insomniac
The night is only a sort of carbon paper, Blueblack, with the much-poked periods of stars Letting in the light, peephole after peephole -- A bonewhite light, like death, behind all things. Under the eyes of the stars and the moon's rictus He suffers his desert pillow, sleeplessness Stretching its fine, irritating sand in all directions. Over and over the old, granular movie Exposes embarrassments--the mizzling days Of childhood and adolescence, sticky with dreams, Parental faces on tall stalks, alternately stern and tearful, A garden of buggy rose that made him cry. His forehead is bumpy as a sack of rocks. Memories jostle each other for face-room like obsolete film stars. He is immune to pills: red, purple, blue -- How they lit the tedium of the protracted evening! Those sugary planets whose influence won for him A life baptized in no-life for a while, And the sweet, drugged waking of a forgetful baby. Now the pills are worn-out and silly, like classical gods. Their poppy-sleepy colors do him no good. His head is a little interior of grey mirrors. Each gesture flees immediately down an alley Of diminishing perspectives, and its significance Drains like water out the hole at the far end. He lives without privacy in a lidless room, The bald slots of his eyes stiffened wide-open On the incessant heat-lightning flicker of situations. Nightlong, in the granite yard, invisible cats Have been howling like women, or damaged instruments. Already he can feel daylight, his white disease, Creeping up with her hatful of trivial repetitions. The city is a map of cheerful twitters now, And everywhere people, eyes mica-silver and blank, Are riding to work in rows, as if recently brainwashed.
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35
Take me down while standing tall into shattered pieces fall laughing now tears rush by rolling down from this high what is known, what is seen wash this battered mind to clean watch me smile here and past rictus grins that will not last knowing of the pain to come colouring each and every moment fun screaming now in joy or pain always have they felt the same only in this sea at dark when light is gone and hope depart there i find that fateful step to take me up the slope so swept then i smile, i laugh once more offer myself as emotions ***** though in that moment of breathlessness where i don't have to face this test there is a hope that i'll just stop no more struggle to that top dear ocean then, call my soul let me pretend that i am whole for i would swim the waters again please, let me swim the waters again.
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Apr 21, 2015
Apr 21, 2015 at 9:06 PM UTC
Bipolar
Get out. Get out of here. If anybody poisoned the waterhole it was certainly you. Put the squish of your smile away Why sheaf the knife in a lipsticked rictus if it's going to end up in my back all the same? Oh, spare me the theatrics. If you only mean me harm I'd rather know. So that I can curtsey and take the high road. Mentor, if you taught me anything during that winter it was not to be weak. And so you have my best regards. And now you may get out.
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Apr 8, 2013
Apr 8, 2013 at 7:49 PM UTC
Fallen Mentor
you are the light at the end of a tendril. a spindle of dread, woven in caustic guile of argyle parallelograms...phantom realms of solid waste. you are the pin in the subject. gating satan through a thimble of crocodile tears, the new symbol. the rude glyph in black bibles and strong drink, en-kindling the dead. rodents ponzi the scheme of hell’s maze, with lies...your lies... you have eyes that lead aside from your heart’s plot you are saboteur. banal. unrestrained waste. you are the fin in the barracuda puppet, grazing the wrist of Dim Henson huffing crystal gorillas in the congo of your foyer you are the black chandelier. teach me your cheap trick striking off ‘ iron-on’ pinkie swears your praline heresies... your ‘ no remorse’ code lay bare to me. better my better angels, to fathom the loathsome **** of your actual mind. keep me abreast of your wretched games... apply the rod of your wrong love, above all.... you must betray. you must know in your fetid rot of a third eye... the phlegm genius of **** blindness.... teach me the rictus of cold hearted. a false god in my lotus ! spare me the chaste suzette flip me the ***** that spits fables. learn me the savage puns to pummel you sustaining your worst done. grant me the lethal beans for my sacred cow trade me the idylls of your forked heart for your crushed null and crossed bones.
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Mar 16, 2013
Mar 16, 2013 at 11:53 PM UTC
The Light At The End Of A Tendril
TELL TELL TELL Me about the hell of sin While I can SMELL SMELL SMELL The love-stink of your next of kin I'll BURN BURN BURN My blood is made of gin It drips down Sticks to Stains your chin Lascivious and lurid is your predator grin When with vicious curling rictus You inflict this, you begin DECIEVER ****** LEADER My devout Sunday morning tweaker Set us up in rows of pews We sit and listen, you spout and spew Don't presume us to be in virtue weaker Than you, my fire and brimstone preacher.
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Mar 22, 2010
Mar 22, 2010 at 11:05 AM UTC
Hippocracy
Can she have another coffee please? And fill it to the top She doesn’t have much milk you see Yes, up to there, now stop Can he have that breakfast there? But change the egg for beans And swap the bacon for tomato Are you getting what he means? He’ll have a sandwich, hold the butter He’s not allowed much fat But then he asks for chips And mayonnaise to go with that All six of them want carrot cake But don’t all want to pay Can I cut a piece in half for them? If not then they won’t stay Can she have a salad? No wait a Cornish pasty No, hang on, now she wants a cake And still I don’t get nasty If it’s not there on the menu Why do they always ask? It’s as if just being awkward Is for them a daily task I could easily say no each time Not go that extra mile But that not how it works here It’s always service with a smile The customer is always right Even when they’re wrong We keep our smile in place because They’re never here for long And so we keep the rictus grin The smile will never slip Because without service with a smile We’d never get a tip.
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Jun 13, 2012
Jun 13, 2012 at 11:10 AM UTC
Service With A Smile
Twisted around your finger tightly Master, schooled in the art of manipulation Do they had out degrees for that? Many victims fell before me How many will follow? You play the wounded soul so well Drawing the adulation of hapless idiots Professing empathy and compassion With a heart void of any sincerity Emotional vampire, leaching attention Savoring the taste of ultimate control Puppeteer, yanking fragile life strings Of a frantically dancing marrionette Its face contorted in a rictus of pain Till you tire of the pathetic show And drop it like a bag of old bones Thus satisfied, Walk away looking for the next dummy
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Jan 3, 2014
Jan 3, 2014 at 12:27 AM UTC
Puppet Master
Insomnia makes strange bed fellows of us all as sleep replaced by poetic sense of irony as when we are alone we find good company within the spirit box of demonic technology there beneath the glass rise unspoken words seemingly writ by modern day planchette as disembodied heads with rictus smiles beckon us with whispered promises typeset fingers fearing rheumatism fumble with keys unlocking neuron pathway to answer their call to find peaceful rest beneath ink stained sheets as insomnia makes strange bed fellows of us all
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Feb 19, 2013
Feb 19, 2013 at 9:17 PM UTC
Witch Craft (for Y C Pturd)
Ce n'est pas Pierrot en herbe Non plus que Pierrot en gerbe, C'est Pierrot, Pierrot, Pierrot. Pierrot gamin, Pierrot gosse, Le cerneau hors de la cosse, C'est Pierrot, Pierrot, Pierrot ! Bien qu'un rien plus haut qu'un mètre, Le mignon drôle sait mettre Dans ses yeux l'éclair d'acier Qui sied au subtil génie De sa malice infinie De poète-grimacier. Lèvres rouge-de-blessure Où sommeille la luxure, Face pâle aux rictus fins, Longue, très accentuée, Qu'on dirait habituée À contempler toutes fins, Corps fluet et non pas maigre, Voix de fille et non pas aigre, Corps d'éphèbe en tout petit, Voix de tête, corps en fête, Créature toujours prête À soûler chaque appétit. Va, frère, va, camarade, Fais le diable, bats l'estrade Dans ton rêve et sur Paris Et par le monde, et sois l'âme Vile, haute, noble, infâme De nos innocents esprits ! Grandis, car c'est la coutume, Cube ta riche amertume, Exagère ta gaieté, Caricature, auréole, La grimace et le symbole De notre simplicité !
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1.6k
Pierrot Gamin
in the rictus of an amethyst eve lays the indomitable promise of cotton festering under salient groves of hot fingers licking the ridge of supple ******* in profusion dapple crescent lips and sickle rivers running heavy drunk limbic tickling breathes. so wet. the damp ember carousing. in fragrant discord. all sensual clamor violently. in verily know my limbs and every atom of my dew for i shall sprawl upon your effigy the clusters of my heart
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Aug 14, 2010
Aug 14, 2010 at 4:17 PM UTC
y
Thanks to the god that left her The beast within Bound here to the altar standing Peace within The Card is Tranquility, Balance and Stillness Legs spread like pillars of Heaven, exquisite Arms raised like holders of torches extended She is calm now, has the moon light upon her Let us begin I call her Selene. I call her Luna Lips touch her chin I see her haloed in symmetry perfect Lash touch her skin I see her robes whipping quickly all from her I sense her skin calling hungry for knowledge I feel her pull now with famished excitement Give to the lash what the lash wants to take I am Eater of sin Holy is the energy, Holy the night The sphere of perfection, the urge to bite Pierce it with thumbs, pierce and produce From the fruit of the pomegranate, pomegranate juice Here in the hell we have set her Secrets unsealed Rage of our bodies have met her She is revealed Mouth now to mouth is an unending chasm Fire in the blood and the milk and the plasm Sensations meted in rictus and in spasm The heart of the beast is the heart of ****** What was within Released again I am eater of sin Eater of sin.
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Jul 25, 2013
Jul 25, 2013 at 5:37 AM UTC
Sin..The Eater Of Sin
YES. my simple biceps are purring perfectly slick immobile death rictus wearing skulls. i needle my flesh and ink it and make it pretty the smiling violence of my triceps bulge distended arcs of fists. ladling terrifically through stale air mingling vibrant vibrations calm tigers of effortless dream making darkness my arms dance and jolt pleasurably and every body loves the infliction of their splendid pain;they roar and combust suddenly at the night crafting carpals imbued to my wrists jouncing and blustery voices thrash from throats they love it they love it they love it i 'll do it some more
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Sep 1, 2010
Sep 1, 2010 at 2:56 PM UTC
IB
In my box, with rictus grin they could not straighten with a pin~ I lay before my friends and folks and seemed to smile at silent jokes~ and some did wonder, what was planned but little could they understand how I looked on from up above and hovered over those I love~ it all went off without a hitch the biker said I was a ***** and with that word, the motley crew, they blocked the doors so none passed through~ They dimmed the lights, to set the mood and turned the music down to 'brood' and every guest then took a seat and fanned the sweat of stinky feet. The biker wiped his eyes, and said, 'It's very hard to see her dead, but it should come as no surprise, that Nagi, with her smiling eyes, made this request of all her friends, and here's the list, and there's some pens. She'd like you all to listen, while her written works are read 'in style'. And if one title strikes a note of relevance, is what she wrote, then jot it down and pass it to the one beside you in the pew. and at the end of every row stood someone with a basket though it wasn't clear where this would go my friends and family had to know the basket filled to overflowing you read the one you picked, not knowing I was watching from on high and busting out, my old laugh-cry 'Twas several hours that had passed and people dying to be gassed Could this one be the very last? the final poem that Nagi cast? The friends and folk of my rich past applauded, it was done at last! and headed for the open air, and as they reached the doorway there~ a book was handed to each guest My dying wish, you'd all be blessed, and finally you would have, to own, a coffee table book, a tome And every poem I ever wrote contained within the pages, note the title, it was all my own 'The Forced Readings of Nagi Ramone.'
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Sep 4, 2013
Sep 4, 2013 at 5:58 PM UTC
The Forced Readings of Nagi Ramone
In my box, with rictus grin they could not straighten with a pin~ I lay before my friends and folks and seemed to smile at silent jokes~ and some did wonder, what was planned but little could they understand how I looked on from up above and hovered over those I love~ it all went off without a hitch the biker said I was a ***** and with that word, the motley crew, they blocked the doors so none passed through~ They dimmed the lights, to set the mood and turned the music down to 'brood' and every guest then took a seat and fanned the sweat of stinky feet. The biker wiped his eyes, and said, 'It's very hard to see her dead, but it should come as no surprise, that Nagi, with her smiling eyes, made this request of all her friends, and here's the list, and there's some pens. She'd like you all to listen, while her written works are read 'in style'. And if one title strikes a note of relevance, is what she wrote, then jot it down and pass it to the one beside you in the pew. and at the end of every row stood someone with a basket though it wasn't clear where this would go my friends and family had to know the basket filled to overflowing you read the one you picked, not knowing I was watching from on high and busting out, my old laugh-cry 'Twas several hours that had passed and people dying to be gassed Could this one be the very last? the final poem that Nagi cast? The friends and folk of my rich past applauded, it was done at last! and headed for the open air, and as they reached the doorway there~ a book was handed to each guest My dying wish, you'd all be blessed, and finally you would have, to own, a coffee table book, a tome And every poem I ever wrote contained within the pages, note the title, it was all my own 'The Forced Readings of Nagi Ramone.'
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53
we are not clean in the way that clouds pound lightning down on golf carts. we are circumspectral. we soil by way of true love tossing cankers and spleen-balloons by strobe-light. we have ginger eyes that scheme the tombs of our docile rictus and the barbed lush of our offending reconcile. we are not clean where the filth is excellent, but where the pollution is exquisitely the least meaning. full of some Life in the Death. my dearest, my darkest... yes we have no sphere without the cubicle and useless timepiece. we have no light. save the dapple from a distant blur, upon the surface of a placid lake of chill fire. a remote scope of reason on the fringe of a boundary we had no faith in, but a religion to hate with. we came from the sacred and bled for the fake **** that drove us Mazzy. I'd Fade Into You. and be some kind of real. and you'd have to be.
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May 17, 2013
May 17, 2013 at 3:03 AM UTC
" my dearest, my darkest..."
Para el asombro de las greyes planas suelo zurcir abstrusas cantilenas. Para la injuria del coplero ganso torno mis brumas cada vez más densas. Para el mohín de los leyente docto marco mis versos de bizarro rictus, (leyente docto: abléptico pedante) tizno mis versos de macabros untos. Para mí... no hago nada, nada, nada, A qué contar a la olvidosa gente si el amor en mi pecho llora o canta? (a la olvidosa gente, es a saber: al aire, al viento, al sol, al río, al mar...) o a qué decir si el alma poesía, -gruña así o grazne la trivial raleaa qué decir si el alma poesía huésped es de mi torre o de mi rúa? Y que (como Villon el su tabardo, su buitre prometeiico Atlas el Sordo, como Nerón la púrpura, y la toga César el Calvo, y ponzoñosa daga el Valentino de mirar buido, y, de la Tour de Nesle precipitado, el saco Buridán, oh Margarita!) yo porto, a más del tirso y la careta, yo porto, en mí, la sombra del fastidio, signo fatal, exilio sin remedio? (como Nerón la púrpura, o la toga César el Calvo, o la siniestra daga el Valentino César, cuando arruga su ceño ante las turbas enemigas!) Un ignorado ritmo, dócil, terso, donde el absurdo corazón esparzo, ¡eso será la impertinente estrofa en que de todo mi desdén se befa, y más de mí!: desdén, sobrio estilete y el más seguro amigo en el combate contra la tribu inulta! ¡Oh Muchedumbre!: qué vales tú, si topas con el Hombre? (y el Hombre, dí, si topa con el Hambre? y Muchedumbre y Hombre con la Hembra?). Para mí no hago nada, nada, nada, ¡sino soñar, sólo vivir la vida! Para mí no hago nada... ¿acaso humo cuando en la pipa blondo aroma quemo, -si en el magín devano las ideas humo también, color de fantasía...-? Para mí no hago nada, nada, sólo soñar, vivir la vida a contrapelo. Sin un sueño de Amor más que divino -por tener de ideal y ser humano que da objeto y razón a mi durar... sin ése Amor, mejor fuérame ser una Sombra en la Sombra: quieto Buda dormitando en la Muerte o en la Vida. Para el asombro de las greyes planas suelo zurcir abstrusas cantilenas. Para ofender la mesocracia ambiente mi risa hago sonar de monte a monte; tizno mis versos de bizarro rictus para el mohín de lo leyente docto; para divertimento de mí mismo trovas pergeño: absurdos y sarcasmos! Y busco algo de ensueño y de aventura dentro la noche...! y doy la vida entera por el Amor, oh tú, sola Mujer! mientras viene el morir!
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1.2k
Balada de asonancias consonantes o de consonancias disonantes o de simples disonancias
Para el asombro de las greyes planas suelo zurcir abstrusas cantilenas. Para la injuria del coplero ganso torno mis brumas cada vez más densas. Para el mohín de los leyente docto marco mis versos de bizarro rictus, (leyente docto: abléptico pedante) tizno mis versos de macabros untos. Para mí... no hago nada, nada, nada, A qué contar a la olvidosa gente si el amor en mi pecho llora o canta? (a la olvidosa gente, es a saber: al aire, al viento, al sol, al río, al mar...) o a qué decir si el alma poesía, -gruña así o grazne la trivial raleaa qué decir si el alma poesía huésped es de mi torre o de mi rúa? Y que (como Villon el su tabardo, su buitre prometeiico Atlas el Sordo, como Nerón la púrpura, y la toga César el Calvo, y ponzoñosa daga el Valentino de mirar buido, y, de la Tour de Nesle precipitado, el saco Buridán, oh Margarita!) yo porto, a más del tirso y la careta, yo porto, en mí, la sombra del fastidio, signo fatal, exilio sin remedio? (como Nerón la púrpura, o la toga César el Calvo, o la siniestra daga el Valentino César, cuando arruga su ceño ante las turbas enemigas!) Un ignorado ritmo, dócil, terso, donde el absurdo corazón esparzo, ¡eso será la impertinente estrofa en que de todo mi desdén se befa, y más de mí!: desdén, sobrio estilete y el más seguro amigo en el combate contra la tribu inulta! ¡Oh Muchedumbre!: qué vales tú, si topas con el Hombre? (y el Hombre, dí, si topa con el Hambre? y Muchedumbre y Hombre con la Hembra?). Para mí no hago nada, nada, nada, ¡sino soñar, sólo vivir la vida! Para mí no hago nada... ¿acaso humo cuando en la pipa blondo aroma quemo, -si en el magín devano las ideas humo también, color de fantasía...-? Para mí no hago nada, nada, sólo soñar, vivir la vida a contrapelo. Sin un sueño de Amor más que divino -por tener de ideal y ser humano que da objeto y razón a mi durar... sin ése Amor, mejor fuérame ser una Sombra en la Sombra: quieto Buda dormitando en la Muerte o en la Vida. Para el asombro de las greyes planas suelo zurcir abstrusas cantilenas. Para ofender la mesocracia ambiente mi risa hago sonar de monte a monte; tizno mis versos de bizarro rictus para el mohín de lo leyente docto; para divertimento de mí mismo trovas pergeño: absurdos y sarcasmos! Y busco algo de ensueño y de aventura dentro la noche...! y doy la vida entera por el Amor, oh tú, sola Mujer! mientras viene el morir!
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67
Grief consumed by vampires Ravenous for pain and loss, An arm around the shoulders, A rictus grin, another gaping maw, Then a quick flash. Acknowledging their hunger, he has none of his own And no-one else to feed, He is the son of a new angry tribe And a father of none.
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Aug 11, 2015
Aug 11, 2015 at 5:07 AM UTC
Ferguson's Father
tonight was an exact corpse of beautiful slushy soap foaming against the jowls of undeath and life was roaming hitherwither in slated motes of burning blood turning sweaty beads of laughter in the swollen wind of unday peaking bravely over the many glowing rictus wearing gutted orbs precarious on the porches child heaving and sugar vomited doorsteps strewning the mellow darkness young
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Nov 1, 2010
Nov 1, 2010 at 3:48 PM UTC
tonight was an exact corpse
When it was all over, we sat in the San Gabriel and washed ourselves like crocodiles. We had lived in a world of sweat. We joked as an old tire floated by that it wouldn’t be long until we spotted the rest of the car. We watched the ants at their little work, their little loads, and being good, we did not interrupt them. A big dumb foot lands in your way you drop a leaf from your mandibles and you can’t bear to pick it up again. I had to become something to carry us. Something strong. Something stone. I crouched under my task and the sun beat upon me, until I was small, like they were. I was splitting firewood with a dull, cheap axe. You spun beneath an umbrella and asked me to join you. I wanted to ask, is life better when the hand you hold holds yours back. I wanted to look up and see you spinning, but could not lift my gaze from the ground. Cold front. Warm front. Mercury in retrograde. If I knew the words once to say it I do not know them now. I wished I could hear the birds like you did. I wanted evidence but also wanted song. You sat crosslegged while I looked in the manual. The red breast you took to mean “heart” I took to mean “dying” so I sketched his little face in soundless rictus. while you closed your eyes entirely and listened. I carried the wood behind you while you shone a flashlight ahead. You whistled a little birdsong. I dreamed that I could spin you forever and never get tired.
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Jan 13, 2017
Jan 13, 2017 at 10:00 PM UTC
The Bird and the Ant
It’s a slow slide to somewhere else...
 He shuffles, stumbles stammers and he sleeps.
 He knows I am his brother. I help him go for a wee in a bowl, we’re standing by the commode.
 He shuffles back to his comfy chair 
but only with my help. 
“Are you my brother?” “I am,” I say. Six years is a biggish gap between siblings.
 ‘Our Brian’ tolerated me... 
”Take Chris to the pictures”... ”Aw Mum, I’m 18... he’s only 12!!!” 
He headed on out with his mates, smirking, waving a ciggie and a beer.
 But, when he needed a whizzo batsman for his cricket team, who knew?
 I was strangely unavailable... But, I capitulated and said “OK I’ll play for you!” We won! At 81 he shuffles, he stammers, stumbles and he sleeps. He employed 300 people in factories overseas, 
spoke with authority, negotiating with emperors - always with total ease. Today he talks in whispers, his larynx squeaks; 
clatters like a broken pipe, every time he speaks...
 He shuffles, he stammers, stumbles and he sleeps ...for most of every day.
“ I am your brother aren’t I?”
 “You certainly are”, I say. He was the head of magistrates handing down the law... I joked... I called him ‘hang ‘em high Bri’, 
him judging slightly to the right of Atilla the *** 
I remind him of his past... and we smile ... (because of course it wasn’t true)....
 The last thing to die will be his sense of fun. He shuffles, stammers, stumbles and he sleeps. He played prop forward for Moseley’s first fifteen, maybe his problems started way back when...
 too many head clashes, line outs, scrum downs...
 That’s the last thing you’d think about back then. But there’s long term damage you might do...by just ‘being’. He stumbles, stammers, shuffles, 
dummies and scores in his dreams...as he sleeps. He even went to garden parties at the Queen’s Equery’s behest as well as, whilst in India, often - he’d be a Maharajah’s guest. And, when you mention it, he just smiles wryly
 and stares, with rictus grin. He IS in there! But that’s the trouble though... sometimes he IS locked IN! He stumbles, stammers, shuffles, smiles -
 and he does love to rest. But sometimes he will rally with a string of memories all lucid and true... and, if there’s food involved well, he’ll be at the table way ahead of you. That’s the quick shuffle! He makes good progress 
through all his favourite stuff, Then he’ll lie in his reclining chair 
and enjoy that customary nap 
You watch him closely - making sure he’s still breathing - thank heavens for that!
 He stumbles, wheezes when he talks -
 and shuffles when he walks... He shuffles, stumbles...then he sleeps! “You are my brother aren’t you?” “You know I am - for keeps! Love you Bri!”
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Jul 7, 2024
Jul 7, 2024 at 3:22 AM UTC
Foxtrot Oscar Mr Parkinson
It’s a slow slide to somewhere else...
 He shuffles, stumbles stammers and he sleeps.
 He knows I am his brother. I help him go for a wee in a bowl, we’re standing by the commode.
 He shuffles back to his comfy chair 
but only with my help. 
“Are you my brother?” “I am,” I say. Six years is a biggish gap between siblings.
 ‘Our Brian’ tolerated me... 
”Take Chris to the pictures”... ”Aw Mum, I’m 18... he’s only 12!!!” 
He headed on out with his mates, smirking, waving a ciggie and a beer.
 But, when he needed a whizzo batsman for his cricket team, who knew?
 I was strangely unavailable... But, I capitulated and said “OK I’ll play for you!” We won! At 81 he shuffles, he stammers, stumbles and he sleeps. He employed 300 people in factories overseas, 
spoke with authority, negotiating with emperors - always with total ease. Today he talks in whispers, his larynx squeaks; 
clatters like a broken pipe, every time he speaks...
 He shuffles, he stammers, stumbles and he sleeps ...for most of every day.
“ I am your brother aren’t I?”
 “You certainly are”, I say. He was the head of magistrates handing down the law... I joked... I called him ‘hang ‘em high Bri’, 
him judging slightly to the right of Atilla the *** 
I remind him of his past... and we smile ... (because of course it wasn’t true)....
 The last thing to die will be his sense of fun. He shuffles, stammers, stumbles and he sleeps. He played prop forward for Moseley’s first fifteen, maybe his problems started way back when...
 too many head clashes, line outs, scrum downs...
 That’s the last thing you’d think about back then. But there’s long term damage you might do...by just ‘being’. He stumbles, stammers, shuffles, 
dummies and scores in his dreams...as he sleeps. He even went to garden parties at the Queen’s Equery’s behest as well as, whilst in India, often - he’d be a Maharajah’s guest. And, when you mention it, he just smiles wryly
 and stares, with rictus grin. He IS in there! But that’s the trouble though... sometimes he IS locked IN! He stumbles, stammers, shuffles, smiles -
 and he does love to rest. But sometimes he will rally with a string of memories all lucid and true... and, if there’s food involved well, he’ll be at the table way ahead of you. That’s the quick shuffle! He makes good progress 
through all his favourite stuff, Then he’ll lie in his reclining chair 
and enjoy that customary nap 
You watch him closely - making sure he’s still breathing - thank heavens for that!
 He stumbles, wheezes when he talks -
 and shuffles when he walks... He shuffles, stumbles...then he sleeps! “You are my brother aren’t you?” “You know I am - for keeps! Love you Bri!”
Continue reading...
62
Yon painted ***** yet coffin fresh the taste of death warm on her flesh against mine own I long to press in unholy union no priest would bless the scent of grave and rictus grin egg on my need my want to sin fragile as the first spring bloom I lay her gently in my room and soft I claim her as my prize not with my hands but with my eyes she's somewhat cold yet heats my blood my freshly plucked from rest Rose bid with shaking hands I lay her bare and at her beauty stand and stare for here tonight before my peers I'll put to rest such childlike fears with surgeons fingers such as these I'll enter her with precise ease I'll make of her a thing of pleasure my illicit gift mine stolen treasure so gentlemen please take a pew as I perform right here for you autopsy 101's in session today the womb's the arranged lesson thank you Burke thank you Hare same time tomorrow please take care.
0
Jun 1, 2013
Jun 1, 2013 at 2:00 PM UTC
Grave Error of Judgement
******* smile crooked syntax twisted fingers Broken bones with splintered ends but where they stopped grew empty friends broken people, battered souls, rotting dreams in empty holes ice cold screams crawl up and tear dead flesh on the edge of the freeway those lost by the wayside They lay under broken streetlights, flickering neon crosses rictus smiles canvassed eyes late night ships that dont touch the water as they sail by I can't fix them they wont sew together, they cannot heal can't be reforged like broken steel but I can't hide although I've tried the jagged edges of the world
0
Oct 19, 2013
Oct 19, 2013 at 3:54 AM UTC
Broken Pieces, Broken People, Broken Places
Trapped as the mime, Inside four walls. You scream, A frightened sobbing scream, Echoing back to you. As the sound devours, And the conscience does not forgive The foolishness of your hedonism. The hurt comes, From Soul and Hand. But mostly from the absence of pain, Rendering you rictus. Curled up, nestling away From cushioned, leisurely survival. Nothing to despair in, Save from the confections of your head. Sanguinem animarum.
0
Feb 10, 2011
Feb 10, 2011 at 12:13 PM UTC
Sanguinem animarum