"optomistic" poems
My toxic mind is my escape
These days,
I confuse pain for anger
Anger for pain
I invest, but never earn
I ask myself: will I learn?
I already know.
My hopes turn to dust,
When death whispers no.
I wish... I become optomistic...
I tell myself don't.
Sometimes I feel as though I want to live
I can not hold on,
When there is no rope.
I have fallen down the wishing well...
I have fallen in a hole.
Vitriolics follow me and I,
Can not see my life through a bigger scope.
I look at all the stars and know
I am the daughter of the sun itself
I am not the center just the product
Of perfect hell.
I ask myself: will I always be afraid?
I look through my clear tears
They burn my eyes
I forgot about the oil & salt.
Soap could clean it up.
Yet I wonder, who cleans the soap when it is filth?
I want the dirt to disappear
I want to swipe away the dust
I want to rid myself of disgust,
For whatever I broke inside, me.
How can I forgive when you're the reason I do not want to live?
I have been dying
I would give in
I would crumple
At this point I am not even sure how,
I wallow and swallow down my pain.
I drain myself of all mistakes.
I still drown.
Right when I am on the brink of peace
My mind reminds me:
There is nothing I can do to escape
I am still in myself, at the end of the day.
Aug 29, 2018
Aug 29, 2018 at 8:34 PM UTC
Apathy rots...
What will it take
To awaken you
When you've lost faith in dreams?
When sleep is a warm amnesia
Nothing more
Granted, a good thing
For a wise old man
Whose mind is stuffed with memories
A good thing
For a tired old soul
Weighing experience on rusty scales
Whose biggest regret
Is having succumbed to apathy
Realizing, too late,
What a weak enemy it is
How easy it would have been
To conquer and subdue it
To bend it to the will and tame it
It couldn't be all that hard
But you have barely set off on the journey
You can offer advice to no one
Even as you take no advice from anyone
Who convinced you your soul was black?
Do you think there will ever come a day when
You will forgive him
You will forgive her
For lying to you?
"It is better to have loved and lost
Than to never have loved at all"
What a **** shame William's wisdom
Has been relegated to the status of a Hallmark greeting card
Where so many people laugh and snicker
So secure in their smug little minds
That they have a ******* clue what it really means
That they don't have a use for this kind of optomistic philosophy
Or the sad sacks who just don't get it
Who can't look past their pain and bitterness
To grasp it's prophecy
Who won't swallow the pill because they just don't want to
Even if they know
(as they all do)
That it's a cure
Me?
I'm powerless
I WISH I didn't care
But that's a death wish
I'm a child who loves his toys
I don't want them taken from me
Christmas is around the corner and you know what that means
That's right!
MORE TOYS!!!
Dec 4, 2010
Dec 4, 2010 at 3:51 AM UTC
There's a reason people think I'm mean
why I seem so hateful and different
I guess I used to be so nice to everyone
because I needed to hide behind a mask
a mask that made me seem happy
made me seem kind
Of course i'm still kind,
I know what it feels like to feel
left out
disliked
alone.
So I'm nice to the people I know need it
the people like me,
who need someone to tell them it's okay,
like a flower needs the sun
we all want that warmth,
that warmth that is the love of those around us
I know that my parents think I'm different
I'm not the same little girl they once knew
I'm not cheerful
I'm not optomistic
Something broke inside me
like a bone when you hit the ground
For some, the bone might heal correctly
And come back stronger,
making them a better person
those are the people we want to know about.
the damaged people who became normal
But what about the others?
The bones that didn't grow back?
The bones that became twisted
and cracked again
the ones weaker than before.
no one wants to hear about those people
because no one wants to be tied down
or responsible,
for that sob story in their doorway
I don't know where I fall yet.
I'm still in the process of healing
and I have been for nine years.
every time I get close, something bends the bone a little
and sends me down a hole of pain
So no.
I'm not that happy little girl.
I'm not innocent anymore.
and that mask i kept on so tight,
the mask I wore to make you feel better,
to make you feel happy.
because i wanted you to be happy
It made me feel good for just a second,
when you would smile and forget about what made you sad.
That was my job
to make you happy.
I needed your smile,
never thinking of when I should smile too.
the only smile I knew was the one I painted on the mask
Maybe somewhere along the line, I asked myself;
When will I be happy?
and maybe it was selfish,
maybe it was inconvenient
but I ask myself that question every day
because this mask is getting a little too tight
and I need something long lasting,
because your short smiles aren't enough anymore.
once it's gone I get the shakes,
like an addict.
I need something to remind me to be happy.
there's an app for everything these days,
I wish there was an app for happiness.
You're the only one who makes me happy.
Lets me take the mask off now and again,
but Then I have to put it back on,
and wear it home
and I sleep in it,
eat in it,
shower in it,
This mask is getting tighter,
and I hope you won't be mad
when it just breaks.
May 25, 2018
May 25, 2018 at 12:24 AM UTC
Delighted and gleeful
Anxious and exhilarated
Gitty and Filled with joy
Seeing new angles
Switching the plot
Making everyone around you see in a new light
Filled with hope
Filled with excitment
Each and everyone saying theyre gonna change the world
But who has proven themselves?
Oct 20, 2013
Oct 20, 2013 at 5:44 PM UTC
All throughout life we are faced with a choice. A decision that will effect every aspect of every moment we live in. We can either look at life though with a pesimistic mind, or through optomistic eyes.
A pesimistic person will look at those they could not help and feel sorrow.
They will look at missed chances and feel regret, resenting their past selves.
And they will look at the unkown - the questions they cannot possible answer - and feel fear, not knowing what lies beyond.
Even when faced with the same obstacles, an optimistic person will always prevail.
For they will look not as those they could not help, but to the lives they have affected, and feel content.
They will look at missed chances and learn from them, bettering their future.
And they will look to the unknown with intrigue, awaiting what lies ahead.
Jan 4, 2012
Jan 4, 2012 at 2:25 PM UTC
The sun shone and the birds were out
today gave reason to shout
no doubt.
Aug 17, 2014
Aug 17, 2014 at 4:58 PM UTC
The darkness has consumed me
The malodour clinging to my rags
How did i become this?
Tormentors of vile belonging
Dwelling In the cavity where the roses once grew
Oh you should have seen the roses
Pristine and optomistic
They grew skyward ever chasing the warm sensuality
That filled the mind and body
Watered with the best of self
They flourished
Tracing the time
Where water became poison
And light became black
I find myself in the crossroads with you
Where my turn of fate became a fatal turn
My thorns magnified
The creeping fèeling that all things selfless
Begin with self deprication
And selfless is a virtue
The roses cleared from their home
One by one with every good intention
My garden had become a graveyard
And time became a dreadful thought
To have eternity in the dark
So that your light could shine the brighter
Nov 30, 2017
Nov 30, 2017 at 3:29 PM UTC
The word I have to keep .
Spelled with an 'o' after the "t' because I haven't got a leg to stand on .
Feb 6, 2025
Feb 6, 2025 at 11:27 AM UTC