Why the belated savagery?
Why pierce my flesh, perchance to bleed?
On precipice high
my principles already leak down my shirt
and drip from golden-bangled wrists
to paint the ledge in leaky watercolors of loss.

Numbness, is that all we want?
we freeze our brows, and beating hearts
so none may dare to show inflection,
Or galloping strides of untamed lust
much less the small, sweet, flickering Love
that sits, whitefeathered, in that gilded cage
Oh, sweet she hums, her plumage falling
as hopes of freedom slip away.

Oh, cruel is passing time
Oh, fate;
how idle you creep by, and then
I wake in fervour, nightmare-hot
His gaze has passed me by at last
I should have silenced all my cracks
and filled in flaws with repartee
and been undamaged Demeter
rich flowing harvest, aglow with life
oh, shame to wither to that dark of day.

.....We wish for deliverance, grant it Us;
for what good are we, as faded cloth?
None wish to sew the fantasy tapestry
on patches, holes and crinkled past
You must not show these embarrassments
and so the poison is paid for gladly
and so you never know our fear
and so; the eyes will linger longer
and so we hold our Place, still here.

The Story of Portal

'Tis an interesting story I must convey
About what started on Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.
It was to be the main event,
But no one knew to what extent.

Upon picoseconds of her wake,
Deadly Neurotoxin she did take.
A hissing sound was heard by all,
And a green gas started to fill the hall.

One by one people fell.
Most were dead, but not little Chell.
She was a stubborn child,
But that was putting it mild.

A Morality Core was installed.
To keep the rest of the Center from being mauled.
GLaDOS was switched back on
And Test Subjects were called upon.

Years later, a Subject was picked.
No one knew what to predict.
She was stubborn and quiet,
But boy, did she cause quite the riot.

Chell was never meant to test,
But fate was changed by an unwelcome guest.
In the maintenance areas, a Rat did flee,
Leaving hints for the young ******.

GLaDOS gave a final goodbye speech;
A fire pit Chell did reach,
But some portals she did use
To escape from the abuse.

Chell and GLaDOS met face to face.
This would be GLaDOS' final resting place.
A surprise was deployed
And Chell threw it into the void.

Deadly Neurotoxin again filled the room.
Six minutes and Chell would reach her doom.
"Stop squirming and die like an adult."
Chell didn't think she would like the result.

Three more times she would open the door
And drop down another core.
The fight was done,
And with it went the gas and the gun.

The rouge AI was enraged.
She had been upstaged.
The Enrichment Center's systems started to fail.
Oh how Chell wished she could bail.

Chell had finished her mission.
Now, she rested in the Party Escort Position.
Escorted back inside, she tried not to cry.
For she knew that the Cake was a Lie.

my love began in lies.
a web of what-ifs i wove to fall in when the sun refused to shine,
and the string of loveless red around my ankle no longer feels the pull and tug of possibility.

and i yearn for the kiss that would
fracture time.
like an itch i can't scratch,
like trying to make ice in an oven.
i then see my love lies limp.

wound in my web, venom in my veins, hung by the noose of love's insane.

Conflated the scriven entangled
Stygian Ink burns moonlight scribes
Death casket nymphotic neurotoxin
Flesh bites tender spots bruised
Inhale emerald fire shotgun lungs
Blacklight succubus consume

Aluminum in Vaccines Is Not Safe, According to an Article in the "Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons"

December 21, 2016 -- Source: Association of American Physicians and Surgeons

TUCSON, Ariz., Dec. 21, 2016 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- The Association of American Physicians and Surgeons notes that, because of public concerns that mercury (as thimerosal) in childhood vaccines might be contributing to soaring rates of autism, this component was mostly phased out as a “precaution.” Autism rates continued to rise, prompting authorities to assert that autism is not linked to mercury in vaccines and that vaccination policies are safe and appropriate, writes Neil Z. Miller in the winter issue of the Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons.

At the same time as mercury was being phased out, Miller noted that there was a 25 percent increase in the amount of aluminum in vaccines administered before age 18 months.

Aluminum, also a neurotoxin, is used as an adjuvant in vaccines, Miller explains, to induce a stronger immune response. It is contained in hepatitis B, DTaP (diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis), pneumococcal (PCV), Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib), and hepatitis A vaccines.

Miller recounts case reports of aluminum toxicity dating back to 1921. He cites concerns of the American Academy of Pediatrics that prolonged use of intravenous feedings that contain aluminum could impair neurological development. He quotes a 2011 article stating that “aluminum is a widely recognized neurotoxin that inhibits more than 200 biologically important functions and causes various adverse effects in plants, animals, and humans.”

Some health authorities acknowledge reasons for concern, Miller writes. A director of the National Vaccine Program Office admitted that “those of us who deal with vaccines have really very little applicable background with metals and toxicological research.”

Some health authorities, Miller states, are concerned about how burdensome it would be to remove the aluminum. “Existing vaccines, if they change the adjuvant for any reason, would need to be resubmitted for clinical trials for safety and efficacy and it would take a great deal of time to do that.”

Miller concludes that there is no convincing evidence of adjuvant safety, but compelling evidence that injected aluminum can be detrimental to health. “Vaccines are normally recommended for healthy people, so safety (and efficacy) standards must be impeccable. Parents, especially, should not be compelled to permit their loved ones to receive multiple injections of toxic metals that could increase their risk of neurodevelopmental and autoimmune ailments. Safe alternatives to current disease prevention technologies are urgently needed.”

The Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons is published by the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons (AAPS), a national organization representing physicians in all specialties since 1943.

You were supposed to fix the broken pieces of my soul not scatter it across the galaxies in your eyes where your tears filled with shards of painful memories flooded  the starways. It baffles me how our love which started with emanating happiness ended in such glorious tragedy.
I'm pulsating with rage and confusion, but I'll instead apologize for my love wasn't enough to appease what your soul craved for.
I'm thankful for being a sadist because the pain im feeling right now is comparable to crawling on a field of razor blades tipped with a paralyzing  neurotoxin while being chased by your apparition wielding a sword that slowly slashes at what's left of my mangled soul while trying to dodge the knives that always end up in the depths of my heart.

We were each others poison
it made us rotten the veins
the depths of my heart
will never be the same
like a neurotoxin to the brain
we caused each other excruciating pain
I took your love to heart
you took my name in vane
the love the we shared
was the definition of insane

Words can bite.
Mostly just a nip — easily forgotten.
But sometimes an injection of neurotoxin,
whereby you lose your nerve.

In the night-time woods, small life scurries in the undergrowth,
mostly unseen by human eyes.
But sometimes moonlight is revelatory,
striking a shaft of momentary wonder.

Do not give in, fellow scribbler.
There is something extraordinary to see.
You are in the best position to see it,
and make others wish they had seen it, too.

Re-assess your wound, and its author.
Probably just a *****; best ignored.

I wonder if,
nightmares are from the monsters trying to be free
I can sometimes feel them
Seeping into my being in my slumber
Taking over my frame of mind so that the facets of glass leave me blind to any sign of light in the dark.
It's so dark here
And I'm fumbling for function like fumbling for the right words and moments of clarity  these typewriter lines make incoherent sentences
and I but I can't be stop be heard
Because nightmare-sleep leaves me a victim
And I can't erase it,  
Can't escape it
Backspace doesn't exist in the dreamworld
Where reality is a distant memory,
Until the blank spaces and missteps
Get covered up by white out and wishes of waking up in the morning to a day where there are no monsters hiding behind my eyes

I wonder if,
nightmares are from the monsters trying to break free
They bite at their chains
Claw at their prison
Fight for what freedom they have as they baptize my mind with the coldness of their poison,
Neurotoxin making my nerves go hay wire,
Entrapping me in a trance
I try to escape
Not letting me break from the pain that they inflict on my brain and body
Assault and battery convicts stampeding  like elephants across my minds eye making me beg for control
But the guards aren't in charge of the prison anymore
It's so cold here

I think monsters use
nightmares to break free
Because when the sun rises again
I'm left with the scars
And it's a battle to let them stay behind the facade of,
"Everything's alright"
Depression presses through the fake smiles and laughs,
And stretches the sinews of my hope until they scream,
Scream at the world to stop spinning
And until I wake up
The ash and dust that is my temporary refuge
suffocates the hope of my escape from reality
And makes my nightmares come true
Because when we have nightmares we are prisoners too.
It's so lonely here
all in my head
Where reality is a distant memory,
And wishes of waking up in the morning to a day where there are no monsters hiding behind my eyes
Dance across my subconscious
Like stars in the sky,

I wonder what would happen if I let the monsters free,
Let them out of their chains
Freed them of their cages and let them crawl out of my mouth with the wind of my breathing letting them take flight and disappear in the distance.
I wonder if they would come back thinking my mess of a mind is where they belonged or if they would take refuge with the skeletons in my closet and comeback to haunt me.
I'll let them out
Watch them fly away
And go to sleep

The damage they left behind is still there
But,
It's not so dark here anymore...

The water splashes against my back
Warm, but as soon as it touches my skin, cold

My left cheek twinges, numb-ish
Oh my gosh, that means something doesn't it?
What is it a sign for again? Heart attack?
No, stroke. Oh my gosh, am I going to have a stroke?

That's ridiculous, you're seventeen.
But it could happen!
It's not a stroke. You're being stupid. It's just the anxiety.
I grimace at the glass door, feeling my face to see if it moves properly.

Oh my gosh, what if it was a spider?
I felt my toe catch on something before, that must've been it biting me.
It's a neurotoxin, I'm going to die soon.
I'm almost crying.
I thought you didn't care if you died.
I frantically slap my hands at the ground, but obviously, there's no spider there.

It could've gone down the drain.
Or I could've been bit before.
What about the creepy spider that lives by the basement stairs?
I bet I accidentally brushed by it, it bit me! I'm about to die!

You're insane, you know that right?
Breathe
It's nothing, random pains and feelings happen sometimes
It's going to be okay

It's going to be okay

I was sick
Deathly sick, infected with some virus
Killing me
My mind was turned on and off
I was half crazy, touched by dementia
Some kind of neurotoxin
And threw up blood
Red blood, but thicker than glue
To where it caught in my throat coming up
Dangerously choking me every time
Blood
Red and black thick blood
Sat in coagulated clumps on the new carpet
My mother came in
Told me to fold some clothes,
When my mind cleared from the
New waves of dementia
I realized I was dying
Why weren't my parents taking me to the hospital?
They didn't care
In fact they tried to pretend I wasn't there
It was like I was embarrassing them
I tried to tell two of my friends
They didn't care
They didn't care
They didn't care
I looked in the mirror,
My eyes widened
Sticky, gelatinous blood
Caught stuck in my throat
And I knew then,
Half conscious,
I was going to die
And no one
**Would care.

I wash my knives with a brush because the washing machine don’t work on the stains of my flesh
I used to take pictures after the deed was done because when the voice would command me next time I hoped I wouldn’t say yes
Now it’s nothing but a collage of empty promises and a reminder of how crippled a mind can be
My heart tries its best to pump enough blood for my brains to desperately keep breathing but... what can you do when your blood is a neurotoxin
Today I learned that the definition of burning isn’t flames but infact just a reaction with oxygen
Seems to explain why my blood breathes through gills and also why I feel like I’m being scorched