Sphincter factor nine approaches
food for the fish n roaches
methinks its time for me perhaps
to open up the rearward *****.


------------------------------------
AAChoo !!

Oh, liddle sister, Josephine,
you sure don't keep your
nose real clean.
got stalactites
o' pure pea green
my infectious sibling
snot machine.
----------------------------------------
I thought that I might shoot the breeze
with God or Mephistopheles
and ask them please to ease my wheeze
of my bad back and dodgy knees
---------------------------
Croak with the raven
bluff with the crow
the urchin
the field mouse
beneath the hedgerow
in a flurry they scurry
away away go.
Yelp with the *****
howl with the hound
and bay at the moon
till the sun comes around.
------------------------------------------
Gino's bar and grill.

Away, away afore Bacchus
doles out befuddlement
and Morpheus has his way,
lest I awake to find myself
in the company of
sodamistic bedfellows
with buggery in mind.
---------------------------------
Harry Potter has grown a beard
he lives alone and turned out weird.
Dumbledore, Albus, no more
turned his toes and 'ad a snore,
Voldemort, who's *** is taut
has no nose with which to snort.
====================

Ahem !!

Behind two Lilies- sits Rose,
then Daisies
for two and a bit rows.
with Poppy, and *****
Petunia, Primrose.
and Bryony - who gets up
- my nose.
----------------------------------------------
Amen.
God bless the Cows - for beef burgers.
God bless the Pig - for their bacon.
God bless the wife n her sharp knife
for the slice of their **** she's taken.

-------------------------------------------------
We can, no more fetter the sea to the shore
nor the clouds to the sky
or tether the glint
in a lovers eye,
As sure as the shore loves the sea
so shall I love thee, together,
together for eternity,

-----------------------------------

It bends for thee
sweet chevin,
the cane thats cleaved
by three,
wilt thou now
sweet chevin
yield, my friend ,
for me.
-------------------------------------------------
There's Marmalade then Marmite
and Jams thats jammed between
the buttered bread of bard-dom
a poets sweet cuisine.
---------------------------------------------
I took up campanology
and fired up my ****.
I rang that bell
to ******* hell
till the busies
came along.
--------------------------------------------
so, I've been whittling away
at a buoyant ****-
fashioned something approximating
a poo canoe-
in it, I intend to
surf the **** tsunami of old age
to-- death;
I have named it Public - Service - Pension.


----------------------------------------------

A surreptitious delightful tryst,
with my honey, my sebaceous cyst.
she's my pimple, my wart,
my gumboil consort.
she's the zip, in which
my *******, got caught.
--------------------------------------
Frayed at the bottoms
ripped at the knee.
baggy and saggy
big enough for three.
faded and jaded
and stained with ***
but I'm due for a new pair--
Yippeeeee!!

---------------------------------------

Ther­e's Cockerel in my ear
and he bills and coo's for you
whenever you are near
goes - **** a doodle doo !!!!!,,,,,,,,

---------------------------------------------

Oh,­ for the snap shut skin
in the blue twang of youth
and to un-crack the spine
on the book of love.
now the gulping years
have flown away
we take sips of the night
and are spoon fed the day.

-----------------------------

Zeus made the Moose to be somewhat obtuse,
a big deer- rather queer- I fear.
then God gave him the nod to look funny and odd
the spitting image of you - my dear !!!

---------------------------------------

Knobbly Nobby.

Nobby has a great big nose
a great big nose has he,
and nobby knows
that his big nose,
is big, as big can be,
nobby has two knobbly knees
two knobbly knees has he,
his knobbly knees,
are as knobely
as knobbly knees can be,
don’t pity dear old nobby
for soon it’s plain to see,
that nobby has a great big ****
as big, as big as three !
now nobbys **** is knobly,
as knobly as a **** can be,
so nose and knee and ****
make three,
and we - are ****- ely.

----------------------------------

The Woman that wouldn't eat meat,
had reeaally, reeaally big feet,
her **** was as big as an hermaphrodite brig
and her **** were as hard as concrete….


--------------------------------

Hearken the clarion call of the crows
afore the snow-
they caw,
hey, get your **** into gear lads-
we gotta feckin go !!!

-----------------------------

Gods pad

I took a peek within
your house
wherein on pew, I spied
a mouse,
and in his hand,
a Bible clasped,
and out his mouth,
a parable rasped,

---------------------

I'd say she had
a pigeon loft in
her eyes and
bluebells up
her nose.

But then again
I wear a flat cap

and stroll through meadows.

----------------------------

Would you care to buy our house?
It's minus Mouse n devoid o' Louse,!
Spiders, Roaches, Bugs or other,
have all been eaten by my brother,
snaffled up n swallowed down
then jus' crapped out a - yellowish brown.
so would you care to buy our house?
from an oddly pair -- devoid of nous

-------------------------

Though the Crows got her eyes
and the Worms got her gut.
comes as no surprise
death can't keep her mouth shut.

-------------------

Bevelled slick edges
and reeaal eeaasy slopes.
Chilli dip wedges
with fresh artichokes.
Wanton loose wenches
and swivel hipped ******
Daft dawgs and dentures
and granddad - who snores.

-------------------

Been whittling away at a buoyant ****
and fashioned something approximating a canoe,
in it, I intend to surf the **** tsunami of old age;
I named it, "Public service pension"

-------------------------------

.
Well,
     I could wax on the wings of a butterfly
but, I ain't that kind o' guy.
rather kick the nuts off ******* squirrels
pluck the wings off - blue assed fly.
I'm the stuff that flops off dog chops
when he's up for it and high.
an infection in your sphincter,
a well
that's jus' run dry.

----------------------------------------------

befeathered­ and bright scarlet
is my ladies bonnet,
jauntily askew and -
lilting on a paramours
grin.

"- Gladlaughffi -"

I'm reliably informed that dear ol' Muma
sported a goatee around his **** sphincter,
now, whilst this is merely educated speculation
from my esteemed friend his "groom of the stool" ! 
who was in fact required to wear a mask,
ear muffs and a blindfold whilst he went about his business,
He did possess reeaaally sensitive fingertips
somewhat akin to a blind man reading brail,,
and, swore blind that said "**** sphincter' spoke him in Arabic
and asked him for a quick trim, (short back and sides)
I myself being a practising proctologist of some repute
am inclined to believe my friend the "groom of the stool"
as I've come recognise -- Arsolian when I hear it !!!!!!!!
-------------------------------------

In a Belfast sink by the plughole
where hair and gum gunk meet
'erman the germ-man  and toe jam
bop the bacillus beat.

________

Doctor this I know as fact
that I have a blocked digestive tract,
I'm all bunged up and cannot go
my trump and pump is - somewhat slow.
I need unction jollop for junction wallop
some sorta lotion to give me motion.
If you could please just ease my wheeze
then I needn't grunt and push and squeeze.

-----------------------------

They are breaking out the thwacking sticks
and sparking Godly clogs
pulling tongues through narrowed lips
at the infidel yankee dogs.

------------------------------------

As a paid up member of the
lumpen bourgeoisie poetry appreciation society
I can confirm without fear of contradiction
that poetry is indeed baggy underwear
with ample ball room, voluminous in the extreme
and takes into account
the need for the free flow of flatulent gassiness
that is the want of a ****** up poet.

-----------------------------------------------

She's a rough hewn Trapezoidal gal
a gongoozler o' the ol' canal.
She's copper bottomed n fly boat Sal.

I'll have thee know that
that there hat
is a magic hat,
it renders me invisible
to the arty intelligentsia
and roots me firmly
in the lumpen proletariat .
-------------------------------------------------------
Said the sneaky Scotsman, Jim Blaik.
if the pension, you wish to partake,
bend over my son, lets get this thing done
and cop for this thick trouser snake !!

I met my uncle Albert,
down at Asda, in aisle three;
he got there in a Mazda,
jus' a smidgen after me,
said he'd traversed Sainsburys,
Tesco Liddle n the Spar,
but not one o' them flogged Caviar
Truffles or Foie gras.


He sidled past the pork pies
streaky bacon turkey thighs
a headin for the french fries
n forsaken knock down buys,
shimmied 'round the ankle biters;
expectant mums to be,
popin pills for bloated ills
in the haberdashery.

Fandango'd o'er the cornflakes
and the spillage in isle four

-----------------

I'm linier and analogue,
a ribbon microphone man
mired in the dust of the monochromatic,
the basement, the attic.

------------------------------

Simple simon met miss Tymon going to the fair,
said simple simon to miss Tymon - "pfhwarr what a luverly pair"
of silken thighs and big brown eyes and scrumptious wobbly bits,
Said simple Simon to miss Tymon---------- shame about you **** !!!

So sad sweet Shirl thought she'd give a whirl to clubbercise n pound

Squat, slightly,
tilt head 45°
and squint.
See the shimmering blurry
dot in the distance?
That, timorous ****,
is ME !
Fast twitching my
narrow white ****
to the pub.

There was a young lady named Sue.
whose ***** and **** was askew,
whilst taking a ****
she'd aim it and miss
and she lifted 'er hat when she blew.


Oh Mon Dieu !!

Obi.

Alexander K Opicho
(Eldoret, Kenya; aopicho@yahoo.com)

The incidences of ***** **** and malevolent  violence
Against women are maddeningly all over
As the number of lives claimed
And broken with stupidly impunity
Women are not safe in the crazy man’s world,
This and that to protect women and girls
From gender-maniac violence,
Particularly idiotic ****
And other forms of ****** imperialism
And all other forms of beastly violence
In situations of lunacy of man’s armed conflict
Punctuated by most bamboozling de-civilization
In the nature of resolution reads like capitalist utopian ideal
Women have been the victims of lumpen ****** violence
Since the start of the prosaic propertied conflict
While thousands more have been killed after menacing ****
Uhm; Congo, Mali, central Africa, Iraq, Afghanistan,
Kenyan in patients, Eldoret Nandi militia armed to death with arsenal of ****
****** forlorn foreign victims justifying political primitivism
Tortured, abducted, held to devilish ransom
Or used as human shields
Of the perpetrators being held accountable
For their actions, who can pique
When **** of women creates power
Abuse of women in war is as old foolish male avarice
As is the culture of tribal impunity that helps to breed it
But too much is known about the devastating agony of women
And lasting effects of ****** violence on bigoted individuals,
You generation of the serpent; when are stopping **** of women?
You continue ****** fearless devoid of legal repercussions
I do not think your ***** will be blessed anyhow
You ***** my sister because of the very nature of her vulnerability
Because our family is beautifully powerful and politically powerless
But if there was a way for us to make sure
That every single ***** that rapes is
Chopped of and given to victims in compensation
These would make fair claim for justice,
Here at least the signal would be sent
That people-****** will be shamefully accountable
Them rapists, for what they do
Out of Yet flamboyant patriarchal cultures
Where the stigma of **** overwhelms victims
Perilizing Matrimonial and parental loyalty,
Discouraging victimized women
From  coming  forward to  document
Bitter experiences creating  a struggle within a struggle,

In admitting what has been done to them,
O ! Victims of ****** assault in
**** is so powerful precisely
Because of the stigma in transit
This male a weapon with a long after-life
Is less than the war injury that only leaves  mutations
Dignifying the victim as it does not carry
Psychological and cultural implications ****** robbery

Sad me is heavy,
Saturated with toxic teardrops,
Soaked and weighted down,
Falling,
Falling,
Falling to the ground
To sink into the Earth's crust
Spreading, embedding,
Becoming mud.

Sad me is a solid mass
Of rippling, crippling grief,
Lumpen iron, Raw ore
Bleeding,
Bleeding,
Leeched by circumstance,
Scarred by consequence,
Dreaming, screaming,
Remembering love.

Once again dear reader,
     aye strive to regale ye
with in apropos prate,
     (nee inane) vain
null gibberish in order to suss stain
mine infamous reputation
     with the singular word pain
in thee...online

     literary milieu, where this main
stream (babbling virtual
     brook call lean)
tin hatted man,      
     qua zee moat tow "FAKE" King
     po' whit laureate selective keen
a boot (sally ling forth)
     hemming and hawing,

     while feigning bing
     a suave hill Billy blue jean
wearing brand Levi Strauss,
     (a posthumous plug)
     for a savvy German
     businessman hood deed glean
prospective market for
     denim made easy to clean

material donned by lumpen
     proletariat aye assert
     would be my status
     if born circa
     late eighteen hundreds by
a moo their and father,
     both named (Elisha) Eli
for short slaving away to feed,

     and clothe this then little guy,
who **** fain to appreciate my
(dirt poor station in life well nigh
larded with love,
     and non verbal re: ply
thee above fictitious
     i.e. "FAKE" parents rye
zing far and above

     penury and did try
their level best
     to hammer out
round the clock rockin
     round the clock
nsync with the paradigm
     of Abraham Maslow,
     albeit modified ad hoc

accepting with humility,
     poverty how to ****
key providing basic brood
     of offspring and subtly mock
king bourgeoisie, re: (unpretentiously
     unflattering discrete actions), while rock
king to thee western civilization
     trappings of schlock,

ah and oh...no doubt
precious time, aye
     did fritter and flout
     away distracting sorely tendered,
     kindled, and cherished attention
thus metaphorically affecting thee
     with equivalent, where
     yar entire body riddled with gout.

Sans Whole Body Out Of Country Transplant

hmm...methinks mebbe aye
can empty the ocean
     one teaspoon at time bine bye
and after about
     a bajillion years cry
tears of joy, when mine
     petrified organs of sight decry
solid sea floor to mud dill

     across to Iceland eye
would readily forsake
     United States citizenship,
     and buzzfeed akin to a human fly
hooping genuine emotional
     physical, or spiritual
     philanthropic gratuity
     could be accepted

     'pon being bequeathed
     from this guy
'course after friendly
     bantering initiated with "hi"
and once settling upon lingua franca
     as modus operandi
     this wholesome casual
     conversant chap would appeal

himself as (non GMO gluten, and
     monosodium glutamate free) bonemeal
suitable **** sapien reserved
     quite pleasingly congenial
to shake hands after
     mutual agreement reached,
     whereby roundly accepted
     apprenticeship contractual stipulations

     understood asper "Art of the deal,"
an awesomely empyreal
corroborate burning man
     Matthew Scott Harris
     in effigy "FAKE"
     immolation funereal
faux "cremation ashes"
     topped with goldenseal

thee initial process
     to detox and psychologically heal
from Trump Bite US strain A
     (or alternate spelling
D. trump pen lumpen throat
or a similar
facsimile concocted "FAKE"
     illness thereof - NOT IDEAL
for man, woman, or child,
     who quickly become fodder material

(a bio-hazard devastating
     entire folks future generations genetics)
     symptoms easily mis
taken for nasopharyngeal
infection, where optimal
     cure comprises bland oatmeal

with jelly beans, thus I app peal
to provide sanctuary else this real
threat to life and limb
     will find me to suffer fools
     unless via quaffing hemlock
rigor mortis from grim reaper ICE steal!

Take a bite and tell me how it tastes
Would you describe it as a fever dream
Or brag about the experience on Instagram to all of your mates?
Your face immediately turns at the suggestion a more forceful shade of red
Saying that, it always did in a packed room full of testosterone and dread
Maybe I’m sick for thinking it
But I never have regrets over anything I’ve said
Just fateful memories in the past I wish I could correct
You look at me like I’m not sick, just a little crazy
But I get the feeling you’re cut out of the same tattered cloth
So if you’re the radiant flame does that make me the lumpen moth?
Because I feel like I’m constantly flying straight into the heat of battle
All while my overheating heart threatens to beat out of my chest
In a frantic state of panic I ask the barman for a ‘Metropolis’
And try my best to act nonchalant during an awkward passing with a long lost confidant
It’s obviously a false front to suggest to you that I’m fine
As you’ve probably already figured out
Looking on with little subtlety while concurrently ordering a ‘Mind Eraser’
How ironic
A drink perfectly named to headline a night of impending shame
As I struggle to coherently operate in the thickness of an unshiftable smog that engulfs me
It’s proving to be nothing short of problematic
But all you can say is “you’ll be fine, babe”
Without any significant evidence you’re statement is purely axiomatic
So all I can bring myself to do in response is shrug my hunched shoulders
And look down at my feet before making my way outside
Thinking nothing can hurt me if I avoid eye contact the same way I avoid the truth
Then you threaten to bring me back around
With your soft fingers, whilst holding an unlit cigarette
Treading a fine line along the back of my gelid hands
So cold I look up and notice you flinch before you take the plunge
By securing my trembling hands in a vehement clinch
With sickening guilt I notice the desperation forming in your sorry looking eyes
Before you say to me, no shout, over boisterous shrieking in the smoking area
“Come on darling let’s get out of here
I know a Premier Inn around the corner”
it’s hardly the Ritz but your proposed comfort might curtail the rate in which I’m falling to bits
And an unlikely miracle could ensue
As I achieve a momentary state of happiness, whatever that is
Before tomorrow inevitably comes forcefully in with all its misplaced swagger
Deleting all the positive work of tonight’s endeavours
By knocking a potentially new found sense of hope out of me
Leaving me feeling so very unclever
As yet again I’ll be reduced to trying to find my way out of this monotonous cycle
With only you and my unbearable ‘black dog’ as company
Deep down you must know
No matter how many times we have **** with each other out of pity
There’s nothing about this relationship that’s sustainable
All the same I want to thank you for trying and at least acknowledging me
Nothing will ever change but you’re not to blame
There’s just no salvation to be found in this city