8:00 AM, Monday, Nov. 14th, 2016: Alarm goes off.

He rag-dolls himself across the flat. Past the paintings that huddle on the floor against the walls, past the unpacked boxes concaving from dust and into the shower where he keeps the alarm clock and pliers to turn on the broken shower handle. The bed is a place where thoughts unravel like yarn that one can never quite ravel back to its former integrity, so he doesn’t like to stay there long. Instead he concentrates on the two-day **** smell that trademarks his bathroom. Always two-day ****? He thinks. Never one-day?


“WHAAAP WHAAAP Click” he hits the alarm with the edge of his fist and starts the water, which hits the floor of the tub in a carbonated rattle that emulates the patter of the office water cooler being rinsed and refilled, rinsed and refilled for the last twelve years (his personal duration with the company). Avoiding the water cooler is thirsty work but allows him to dodge creepy office gossip. It is enough in the morning to have to shout “good morning!” in a practiced timbre and twist one’s face into a look of serenity to flaunt at coworkers. These, at least, he’s mastered. He thinks practicing these last two items out loud.


Feeling reasonably damp he shuts off the water, towels down, climbs into the clothing he set out the night prior, grabs his computer bag (also pre-stocked/sorted) and marches through the front door, hair still damp, climbing through the frozen city air coloured by police sirens and the familiar song of commuter impatience and into his Honda, saturated in tree-air-freshener fumes.

The radio: “BOW CHIKA! BOW CHIKA! Bow Bow HEY!….Clap along if you feel like a room without a….” bludgeons him through the stereo so he cranks it louder still and try to keep up for about a block, voice horse and deprived, so he settles for a low hum but ultimately feels like a ******* and opts for silence. When the thoughts start to unravel, he turns the stereo back on, half mast.

The bassy throbs of his heart assaults his rib cage, so he’s almost at work.
“Hello! HeelloO!” He practices again bringing the car to a stop, his left foot hitting the pavement as the Honda leans forward, backwards, then goes still. “HE—llo!” Back through the frozen morning, fiddling the keys in the lock and into the building.

The front door of the office presents its sickly yellow face and last minute sighs are exhaled.
“H…cough HeelloO!” He invites.
“Morning! Debbie returns. “Hey!” answers Rick. “Yo, yo,” says the intern whose name he feel terrible about forgetting. “How you doin’ today, Mr. C?” He asks.
Why the **** would he ask me that, it’s 9am, he thinks, but musters a “Me? Great!” in a tone that plainly sounds like Droopy Dog after receiving news from a physician that begins with “I’m sorry, Droopy” so he adds “just another day in paradise!” Something he picked up from young ****-types in university. 
“You?” he directs the question not only to the intern but the entire room to demonstrate gusto.
“Living the dream!” Says intern; “Couldn’t be better!” Says Debbie;  “Another beautiful day! Another beautiful day…” Says Rick.
They stare back at him with their mouth-corners quivering, eyes twitching, neck-veins prominent. They’re literally bursting from the seams with zeal! He thinks.
“Couldn’t be better,” he thinks. “Living the dream.” He settles into his headphones, a small fire welling in his gut. Don’t these people ever get tired of being “great?” He thinks, queuing “Three Little Birds” on his iPod, watching the waves move in, then out, in, then out on his new animated “beach theme” desktop background. 



He settles into his headphones but can’t distract his way out of the thought: why can’t I live the dream? Why everybody else, and more importantly, why not me?

Hello!

      I mean

He
            Did you see the way she looked at him? That, that
            is either the craziest stare in the stars of our eyes or
            an indication of infatuation!
                      
                           I say, infatuation? Thought we'd done away with that long ago
                          
             It comes back in a different way however, with years of experience elsewhere
             when you end up realizing who your true friends are and how you've strayed
             from constructive friendships to chafing ones

llo!


I mean

           Hello!
           How are you?

Sometimes I stop and think, “If Christ gave up, why shouldn’t I?”
There’s this haunting image of a muzzle in my mouth a flex thumb click trigger hammer snap makes spark ignite powder propel fiery lead travels lateral sever brain tissue splinter bone voyages outward and jams into ceiling brings the whole ****** mess along behind it… Then I wonder, “Whose responsibility is it to clean up that mess?? “
You see, wonder is an amusing word because those who wonder are often wanderers and those who wander are quite often the most wondrous of all!! No home no family no job; these things are what tie us to the altar just to get burned as a sacrifice to the ol’ gods of our consummate culture. Someone lights that quick fire below and ******* skin starts to boil and boil and boil I’ve heard burning flesh stinks but I’ll probably never smell it because by the time the fire dies everything else has also burned.
Tell me, what is it that makes your heartbeat double?
Is it the power that makes the grass stretch sunward or sun shimmer gold? For me, it’s her pupils as I wonder what thought might cause her fragile paper hands to shake and her clearest river eyes to water, it’s the gaunt glowing of her gaze that prompt the pen in my hand to glide at 300mph at 3:00am because I cannot cry about her anymore but this pen dares to shed endless tears of red ink all over the page all night old night bitter wind howls through this ancient, ancient oak but its felt worse wind before.
Listen, I’m lost, and I think I’ve finally lost. I lost. I lost, okay? I ******* admit it. Her empty smile now symbolizes something that spits stinging poison. Pour through my blood freeze heartbeat spasm uncontrollable spiral downward darkness hits hard hefty heaving heaven… hello ello ello llo lo o? (How boldly my inspired voice echoes unimpeded in the Cave of Madness!)
Now I’m alone except for lonely howling train whistle. Head’s heavy, hell is consciousness.

Quien soy yo además de areana gastada?
Sin rumbo flotando sin un propósito.
No mas recuerdo el océano y todo su dolor.
Ni se como me miro llo.

Las mareas retroceden de su lugar
Y me deja expuesto al luz del sol.
Rocas preciosas varados en la orilla de la costa
Brillando se rejunta y se unen conmigo.

Corrientes de recuerdos se apresuran a mi mente
Alimentando el agua de mi alma.
Rompiendo la presa que retiene todas mis emociones
Haciendo sentir todo la humanidad.

Arrastrandome con la mitad del miembro formado
Siento un dolor que filtra desde mis huesos.
Pero no lo rechazó con lágrimas
En cambio, lo acepto con una sonrisa acuosa.

El océano quiere detenerme
Escóndeme en las profundidades de mi desesperación.
Chupando el calor de toda mi alegría
Quitando mi voluntad de vivir.

Pero la luna retiene el océano con su fuerza
Protegiéndome de la oscuridad de mi mente.
En lugar de excluirse por mis pecados
Me ama por mis defectos.

El universo abre sus brazos para darme un hogar
Dando me un santuario para escapar todo el dolor.
Aunque quiero perderme en la nada del espacio
Debo vivir en el mundo en el que pasado se enamoró.

Estrellas y galaxias que brillan en la oscuridad
Me dan razon para seguir viviendo en este cruel mundo.



© Sofia Villagrana 2018

Diga me la verdad
Porque me dejastes llorar
Inutil, llo te odio

Amor me amastes
Besos en la noche
Olvidate, de mi labios

No ves que me lastimates
Que me golpiastes
A mi corazon

Perdon no te va ayudar
Perdoname
Perdon no te va salvar
Perdoname

Amor de te prisa
Te voy a dejar sin risas
Por hacer me sufrir

Despidate de tu vida
Se va en un instante
Cobarde, te huistes

Perdon no lo va reglar
Perdoname
Perdon no lo recuperar
Perdoname

Te voy odiar
Asta que te vas



© Sofia Villagrana 2019

Sentando aqui
Siento algo alli
O es mi mente

Chicle en mi boca
Pistola en mi mano
Que peligroso

Mis amigos estan cerca
Adentro de mi caro
Que misterioso

Preguntame a mi
Estan muertos o vivos?
Llo nunca digo



© Sofia Villagrana 2019

Hello world, I am a dusty flower
among ****** pebbles
gathered on the road which
no one can see us
even though we do not hide

Hello world, I am that kid
who weeps when a bombshell happens
instead of a hanky that I get
They bestow me such beautiful fiery bullets
right on both of these eyes
what a lucky me
My tears are stopped
Then, I will never weep again

Helelleow
Hello woorld

Hello world, I am that kid
who always summon
God's name in every single I take
a sharply gravel and throw it into the sky
not even one-minute passes
God answers me already
and He tells me
Son, you don't need to summon me anymore!

How lucky I am, all I need is just one gravel
then I can meet Him in Behest

H e ll o, woo rrl dd

Hello, world
I am that kid
who until now
cannot understand
are we even living on the same earth?

once I've heard about the other kids
on another side of this earth
when the sun slowly disappear
their mothers look for them and take them home
enough for playing!
Their mothers say

I kn ee ww
Ikh
Ikne
I knew,

I knew this world already knew
that, I am that kid
who does not have a mother
nor home
Yet has the world known?
that I also don't have the sun  

Because
All of my days sense cold, as an endless snowstorm
Because
All of my days look dark, as a hole embedded  in my mother's head
Because
The sun is just for them, who guarded by fully armed soldiers

Be caaus e

He ee ll o wo  oo rlll d
a rre yo uu st ii ll t h eerr ee ?

He llo wor ll d, I aam thha t kiii dd
wh oo stil ll ha s g uts to sp e eak up
yet th e y cut of f my  th roa t

Hel lo ww oor lld…
I AA M THA
II AAM THAAT K
HEELL OO WO RRLL DD ?? !

HELL ..!

he was unable to go far
without any sonar
while below stars
he looked up and said “h-llo mars”
as he held onto a crowbar
while walking past a sign that said mopar
he knew that everybody had their own scars
after a change in rhetoric
he would never quit
for the heck of it
after he got a better grip
during every trek and trip
no matter how harshly the weather hit
in this planet
he was thankful for the wisdom granted
and moved systematic
as he turned on every single switch of static
from a room inside a hidden attic
he had a sudden vision which was graphic
it was disturbing
but the first thing
he did was change his wording
then he continued searching
and working
as an earthling
with efforts focused on conserving
because it was sterling

[Read poem first]
As we Americans celebrate Independence day
July 4th, It's worth noting that our for-fathers
believed God created humanity to be free.

The Declaration of Independence states that people
are "endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights that among those are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness"

Question?  What exactly is liberty? Liberty is freedom, but freedom from what or from who. In America we pride ourselves on being a free people, and compared to many other nations, we are truly free. We have freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom to bear arms and travel - the big four. Freedoms that very few nations have today or ever have had.

The quest for freedomH*llo Poetry
Jerry Howarth   Poems  
Published149  Drafts77 Hidden42 Deleted6
  
Untitled

[Read poem first]
As we Americans celebrate Independence day
July 4th, It's worth noting that our for-fathers
believed God created humanity to be free.

The Declaration of Independence states that people
are "endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights that among those are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness"

Question?  What exactly is liberty? Liberty is freedom, but freedom from what or from who. In America we pride ourselves on being a free people, and compared to many other nations, we are truly free. We have freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom to bear arms and travel - the big four. Freedoms that very few nations have today or ever have had.

The quest for freedom is a theme found throughout the Bible, from Gen. to Revelation. Just three chapters into the account of God's creation, humanity forfeited it's freedom by rebelling against the liberty God gave them, and from that time until today mankind has been enslaved both physical and, more importantly, spiritually ever since.

In old Test.  physical freedom was usually tied in with spiritual disobedience, of worshipping false gods. After a time crying and boo-hooing, God would deliver them from enslavement, usually from Egypt, some commenter suggested it for-shadowed the coming of Jesus to free mankind from the enslavement of sin
which is death. The "wages of sin is death", so Jesus received our wages and died in our place, that we might be free from the enslavement of sin, which besides everlasting burning in Hell, freed us from such emotional and mental enslavement of fear, anger, depression, anxiety, and any other such enslavement of which we are all subject.

But Brother Jerry, even though I am saved, I still have those things
you mentioned, anger, depression and so forth. If sin shall not have dominion over me, why do I have such problems?

I don't know; ask John he has the PHD. I have the same problem
and for me it's because of a lack of total submission to Christ and
His Word, especially His written Word .The important thing is to claim lst Jn.1:9






May 10The Wanderer

May 9
WUntitled

May 4
My Friend, My Wife, My Love

May 2
Ezekiel, son of man


Apr 30
Untitled

Apr 24
Untitled

Apr Hs Name Is JAXSON

Apr 7
Untitled

Mar 13
Pain

Mar 6
Untitled

Mar 1Untitled

Feb 25Untitle

Feb 16Untitled

Feb 13
Untitled

Jan 19Untitled

Jan 17Untitled

Jan 16
Untitled

Jan 4
Untitled

Jan 2Untitled

Dec 2021
PETS

Dec 2021
Untitled

Dec 2021
It' Starting All Over Again

Dec 2021CONTENT

Dec 2021
Untitled

Nov 2021
THE SPIRIT OF THANKSGIVING

Nov 2021The Ministry of the Holy Spirit

Nov 2021The Biblical Truth of Speaking in Tongues

Oct 2021The Wonderful Grace of God

Oct 2021
Gen. 4:16 "And Cain went out from the presence of the Lord".

Oct 2021God Knows

Oct 2021The 83 yr. Old Fighter

Oct 2021Jesus Cast Out a Legion of Demons

Sep 2021Noah, God's man of the Hour

Sep 2021Golden Years?

Aug 2021It is appointed

Aug 2021
My Best Friend

Aug 2021I'm Greatly Honored

Aug 2021The Bumble B ee

Jul 2021
Johnathan, Friend of King David

Jul 2021Two Men of Great Faith

Jul 2021Untitled
— The End — is a theme found throughout the Bible, from Gen. to Revelation. Just three chapters into the account of God's creation, humanity forfeited it's freedom by rebelling against the liberty God gave them, and from that time until today mankind has been enslaved both physical and, more importantly, spiritually ever since.

In old Test.  physical freedom was usually tied in with spiritual disobedience, of worshipping false gods. After a time crying and boo-hooing, God would deliver them from enslavement, usually from Egypt, some commenter suggested it for-shadowed the coming of Jesus to free mankind from the enslavement of sin
which is death. The "wages of sin is death", so Jesus received our wages and died in our place, that we might be free from the enslavement of sin, which besides everlasting burning in Hell, freed us from such emotional and mental enslavement of fear, anger, depression, anxiety, and any other such enslavement of which we are all subject.

But Brother Jerry, even though I am saved, I still have those things
you mentioned, anger, depression and so forth. If sin shall not have dominion over me, why do I have such problems?

I don't know; ask John he has the PHD. I have the same problem
and for me it's because of a lack of total submission to Christ and
His Word, especially His written Word.

Hello poetry
Hello p**try
H'llo poetry

your 502 bad gateways are
freaking me out
I got no copies of
all my ******* man