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"hoofprints" poems
I only shoot to **** my food Not for pride or pleasure I hunt the meat we all can eat Not for a mantlepiece treasure But late one night I was lying in bed And someone was at my door I jumped to my feet like a ninja in heat And crawled across my floor It was dark inside my livingroom But I could see a silhouette The next thing I saw took my breath It's something I'll never forget A deer was wearing a ski mask His antlers poked out the top I jumped to my feet as fast as I could And yelled, "Bambi you better stop" He turned around and began to charge I screamed for my wife to get back He pulled a knife and cut my arm With another sneak attack He chased me down the hallway The bathroom my only hope But when I tried to get inside He lassoed me with his rope He tied me up and robbed my house My wife was under the bed He went through all of our dresser drawers Her underwear on top his head He finally left, the house was a mess There were hoofprints everywhere He took the remote to our color Tv And even our silverware Before he left he pointed and laughed And called me a crazy old geezer But my wife is scared and cannot rest Until I put him in my freezer
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Aug 31, 2010
Aug 31, 2010 at 5:52 PM UTC
Whitetail Burglar
I only shoot to **** my food Not for pride or pleasure I hunt the meat we all can eat Not for a mantlepiece treasure But late one night I was lying in bed And someone was at my door I jumped to my feet like a ninja in heat And crawled across my floor It was dark inside my livingroom But I could see a silhouette The next thing I saw took my breath It's something I'll never forget A deer was wearing a ski mask His antlers poked out the top I jumped to my feet as fast as I could And yelled, "Bambi you better stop" He turned around and began to charge I screamed for my wife to get back He pulled a knife and cut my arm With another sneak attack He chased me down the hallway The bathroom my only hope But when I tried to get inside He lassoed me with his rope He tied me up and robbed my house My wife was under the bed He went through all of our dresser drawers Her underwear on top his head He finally left, the house was a mess There were hoofprints everywhere He took the remote to our color Tv And even our silverware Before he left he pointed and laughed And called me a crazy old geezer But my wife is scared and cannot rest Until I put him in my freezer
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Aug 28, 2010
Aug 28, 2010 at 2:10 AM UTC
The Whitetail Burglar
I woke up on Christmas Eve It was late, in the middle of the night When I saw him under the Christmas tree He give me such a terrible fright I thought it was a cat burglar or something Who was trying to steal from me And I had a 52 inch color television Under that Christmas tree So I ran to the kitchen as fast as I could To try to find me a kinife But I just couldn't find one anywhere Remind me to have a talk with my wife Anyway, I grabbed up the toaster behind the bread That was sitting on the cabinet shelf I snuck up behind him, like a ninja in sneakers And was planning on killing that elf Of course I didn't know it, at the time it occurred That the fat man, was old Santa Claus It wouldn't have mattered to me at the time Cause he touched my remote with his paws I almost had him, when I heard this sound That was coming from my very own kitchen It was, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, ***** Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen Those eight tiny reindeer had attacked me I had hoofprints all over my head And that's when the fat man in the big red suit Turned around to me and he said "I'm just gonna borrow your color tv, So I can watch the football game" "The one in my workshop is only 19 inches. And it's just really too small and lame" Before I could tell him to forget it buddy I heard the sound of him slamming my door Those eight bully reindeer had wrapped me in tinsel And left me helpless on the livingroom floor Well, that was the last time I saw him And my tv was never returned So make sure you hide your color tv's Take it from someone who's learned
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Apr 15, 2010
Apr 15, 2010 at 11:36 AM UTC
The Christmas Eve Caper
I woke up on Christmas Eve It was late, in the middle of the night When I saw him under the Christmas tree He give me such a terrible fright I thought it was a cat burglar or something Who was trying to steal from me And I had a 52 inch color television Under that Christmas tree So I ran to the kitchen as fast as I could To try to find me a kinife But I just couldn't find one anywhere Remind me to have a talk with my wife Anyway, I grabbed up the toaster behind the bread That was sitting on the cabinet shelf I snuck up behind him, like a ninja in sneakers And was planning on killing that elf Of course I didn't know it, at the time it occurred That the fat man, was old Santa Claus It wouldn't have mattered to me at the time Cause he touched my remote with his paws I almost had him, when I heard this sound That was coming from my very own kitchen It was, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, ***** Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen Those eight tiny reindeer had attacked me I had hoofprints all over my head And that's when the fat man in the big red suit Turned around to me and he said "I'm just gonna borrow your color tv, So I can watch the football game" "The one in my workshop is only 19 inches. And it's just really too small and lame" Before I could tell him to forget it buddy I heard the sound of him slamming my door Those eight bully reindeer had wrapped me in tinsel And left me helpless on the livingroom floor Well, that was the last time I saw him And my tv was never returned So make sure you hide your color tv's Take it from someone who's learned
Continue reading...
40
I woke up early on Christmas Eve It was late, in the middle of the night When I saw him under the Christmas tree He give me such a terrible fright I thought it must be a cat burglar Who was trying to steal from me And I had a fifty-two inch color television Under that Christmas tree So I ran to the kitchen as fast as I could To try to find me a kinife But I just couldn't find one anywhere Remind me to have a talk with my wife Anyway, I grabbed up the toaster behind the bread That was sitting on the cabinet shelf I snuck up behind him, like a ninja in sneakers And was planning on killing that elf Of course I didn't know it, at the time it occurred That the fat man, was old Santa Claus It wouldn't have mattered to me at all Cause he touched my remote with his paws I almost had him, when I heard this sound That was coming from my very own kitchen It was, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, ***** Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen Those eight tiny reindeer had attacked me I had hoofprints all over my head And that's when the fat man in the big red suit Turned around to me and said "I'm just gonna borrow your color tv, So I can watch the football game" "The one in my workshop is only nineteen inches, And it's really too small and lame" Before I could tell him to forget it buddy I heard the sound of him slamming my door Those eight bully reindeer had wrapped me in tinsel And left me helpless on the livingroom floor Well, that was the last time I saw him And my tv was never returned So make sure you hide your color tv's Take it from someone who's learned
0
Nov 30, 2010
Nov 30, 2010 at 10:13 AM UTC
The Christmas Eve Caper
I woke up early on Christmas Eve It was late, in the middle of the night When I saw him under the Christmas tree He give me such a terrible fright I thought it must be a cat burglar Who was trying to steal from me And I had a fifty-two inch color television Under that Christmas tree So I ran to the kitchen as fast as I could To try to find me a kinife But I just couldn't find one anywhere Remind me to have a talk with my wife Anyway, I grabbed up the toaster behind the bread That was sitting on the cabinet shelf I snuck up behind him, like a ninja in sneakers And was planning on killing that elf Of course I didn't know it, at the time it occurred That the fat man, was old Santa Claus It wouldn't have mattered to me at all Cause he touched my remote with his paws I almost had him, when I heard this sound That was coming from my very own kitchen It was, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, ***** Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen Those eight tiny reindeer had attacked me I had hoofprints all over my head And that's when the fat man in the big red suit Turned around to me and said "I'm just gonna borrow your color tv, So I can watch the football game" "The one in my workshop is only nineteen inches, And it's really too small and lame" Before I could tell him to forget it buddy I heard the sound of him slamming my door Those eight bully reindeer had wrapped me in tinsel And left me helpless on the livingroom floor Well, that was the last time I saw him And my tv was never returned So make sure you hide your color tv's Take it from someone who's learned
Continue reading...
40
Tonight I chose a path, followed to its end and it was Closed off Kept driving down the road, to find another way Evening air burned sweet as incense over the green water, Clear and cold snow run-off, up in the mountains Where otters made their play A hummingbird came to say hello, singing in my hair as I Shook my head around to see it, retreating and returning My car died, I just lay in the sand Sticking my toes in That river running down, if I could only bear it I'd slip into its current, grow leathery fins, Oh I'd never go back, but for the memory Across the way, heavy with trees and a rock face Scorched by fires of travelers passed by There are antlers, elk and such, oft in the forest Their hoofprints in the beach I walk My toes trailing across the rocks, fingers trailing wind A small stone, caught up from the water, gleaming emerald, Pocketed I wish you'd come dream here with me For I fear it's all just a dream within my head
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May 20, 2017
May 20, 2017 at 4:36 PM UTC
Mt. Rainier
Two horses galloping on sun-kissed plains Hoofprints on roses Hoofprints rippling surface of quiet lake Hoofprints carve your name on yonder moon Because we’ve been everywhere, and I was everywhere with you Are your fingerprints on the back of my hand? Must I be careful not to touch someone new, lest they know you’ve been there? Would they tremble in fear? Such love! They would say. It burns bright even in dying! I needn’t fear such things. I’ll never touch another. Should I cry? Would tears express such sorrows? If I were to bring peace to the world, would I ever find my own? Such sorrow. With such sorrow, would ****** sate the wound? Worlds reduced to graves and still sorrow lingers. Such sorrow must burn away of its own ilk. Better to have loved then lost? Better not to have loved you, at least. I laugh. The miles between us were a drop in the ocean. Truly, they were. I can't get far enough from the memory of us... because I am the moon upon which your name was carved.
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May 9, 2017
May 9, 2017 at 9:28 PM UTC
Distance Between Us...
*My thoughts became a ball bouncing over preordained dialog shuffling from end to end leaving hoofprints condemned A scattershot of expression tickling the back of my skull For the sentences I spoke fell from my mouth like a rabid dog dripped foam and within hung the beat of a foolish man's sunken soul*
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May 12, 2016
May 12, 2016 at 9:11 PM UTC
The Death of Creativity
Look at the sphere – which astronomers say is no sphere at all. Not halfway between ourselves and the edge of space. Blue with the ancient gasses that cling to its massive ribs. Blue with the dissent of that atmosphere to sunlight. Flat, a little, at the poles, teetering white into the void. Strewn with latitudes and the wakes of ships. It is green, except where it is not. It is dusted with the tread of angels commingled with the hoofprints of stags. It is only as wide as you can hold in your eye. A succession of names is written on the pedestal. Each, for a moment, watched night crawl across a peninsula; saw countries form, shine and pass out of being, smiles at a distant stranger. Spin it lightly, with just your fingertips, and listen to the air moving over it. Nobody is here, and the final name is yours. First you will come to know your voice. Then you can begin to name the animals.
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May 15, 2022
May 15, 2022 at 2:04 AM UTC
Heir
The bridge is still bouncy The water calm and clear Horses’ hoofprints churned the grass Bright yellow star-shaped Celandine Bluebells and Wood Sorrel Shoals of fish Delighting people
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Apr 21, 2017
Apr 21, 2017 at 6:22 AM UTC
The Bouncing Bridge
The bridge is still bouncy The water calm and clear Horses’ hoofprints churned the grass Bright yellow star-shaped Cellandine Bluebells and wood sorrel Shoals of fish Delighting people Maggie Sorbie
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Apr 21, 2017
Apr 21, 2017 at 6:16 AM UTC
The Bouncing Bridge