BaiMatlab Zindagi ki Wajah Tum Hau.  
Meri Zindagi ki Sajah bhi tum Hau.

Bas Bahut Hau Gaya yeh tumahari Adda.
Woh Zulfai cherai sai tu na hataa

Woh muskuraat sai tau na aisa  sataaa
Jau  mairee  rooh kau  tadpaya

Ek Lamba Arsaaa Hau Gaya Hai
Dil Ki Baat Zubaan Pai Aaanai Sai.

El Lamba Arsaa Hau Gaya Hai
Aaap Sai  Guftugu Karkai.  

Kabhi Kabhi Aisa Lagta Hai Ki
Arsaaa Lamba Hau Gaya Hai  Yaaa
Lambaa Arsaaa Hau Gaya Hai.

Ab bas bhi karau

Mujhe aur us nazaar  
sai mat daikhau.

**** tau pehli sai hi tadaap rahi thi
Ab Ruh bhi tadap rahi hai.  

Ab Bas bhi Karau.

Mujhe ab khuch
bhi na kahau.

Awaaz tau meri pehli sai bandh thi
Ab Dil kai Dadkanai band hau raha hai.

Ab Bas bhi Karau.

Mat Karau Aisa Harkatai
O Merai Bhai.
Jissai Dil Toot Jayaai.
O Merai Bhai.

Mat Karau Aisa Harkatai
O Merai Bhai.
Jissai Baat Band Hau Jayai
O Merai Bhai.  

Mat Karau Aisa Harkatai
O Merai Bhai.
Maddad  Lainai Ko Bhi Saramandgi Aayai
O Merai Bhai.

Khuch Kehtai Hai
Mohabbat Hauti Nahi
Hau Jaati Hai.

Mohabbat Hauti Nahi
Hau Jaati Hai.  

Hum Nai Kaha
Dard Hauta Nahi
Hau Jaata Hai.

Dard Hauta Nahi
Hau Jaata Hai.

Ya Khuda.
Yeh Kya Hau Gaya
Qubool Kiya Tu Nai Yeh Dua
Ki Dur Hau Jayai Woh Sab
Jau Na Karta Hai Mujhe Sai Pyaar.
Yeh Kya Pataa Ta Mujhe
Ki Shamil Hau Jayaigai
Merai woh Sab Sai Pyaari Dost bhi.

Dekhna chahata hu  woh haseen natnai kau.  
Jau kabhie kabhie aap bewaqt
Phulatai hau.  

Na jaana kab deddar hauga woh daerai ki.  Woh Nazuuk sai haashiye ki.

Ki jald sai jald sai jald hum un be ahang  natnai mai  khaid hau jayai.

Aur mat tadpau mujhe aab.
Aab tau aap sar utuaa hi dau aur hammai woh haseen manzar kai dedaar kara hi dau.

Isnaai  Khuch  Post Dala
Usnai Bina Sauchai Like Kiya
Dono Khush Hau Gayai.
Yeh Silsala Hauta Hi Raha.

Share Aur Like Kai Daldalai Mai
Sab Hi Trap Hauta Hi Gayi
Kabhie Usnai Share Kiya
Tau Kabhi Isnaai Like Kiya.

Kya Sahi Kya Galaat
Kya Sachaai Kya Jhootaa
Bas Sab  Forward Aur Like
Mai Lag Chukai Hai.


Mai Sahi Hu
Tu Galaat Hai
Mai Sachaa Hu
Tu Jhoota Hai

Bina Research kai
Khuch Tau Aisai Bhi Post Kar Laitai Hai
Validation ki Pyasaa Hai Khuch Log
Jau Khush Hau Jaatai Hai Ek Like Sai
Aur Apni Woh Jung Jeet Jatai Hai.

Yeh Daldalaai Sai Kab Nikaal Paiyaa Gaya
Digital Daldalaa Kab
Khataam Hau Jayainga

Haka ne sarki ya hau jaki
Baki nasa goro yana kaki
Da gani yan mata sai tsaki
Gwalo, kifce kai! har koki

Long taim mi sa mekim rong, gutpla tingting em i kamap. Em ikam na em i toktok wantem mi, na em i tok olsem, "Noken bisi long bihainim gris blong snek olsem ya, bihainim tok blong mi na bai yu inap".

Long nait, nek blo yu isave hamamasim mi. Na long moning, hanmak blong yu i woklo stiaim mi long ol gutpla gutpla rot igo long gutpla gutpla wara. Olgeta hevi i woklo lus.

Long taim mi pasim tingting stret long yu, orait mitupla ikam kamap pinis long maunten igo antap. Na antap blong em i antap moa winim ol klaut. Hau bai mi sakim tok blo yu o? Mi nonap, long wanem, tok blong yu i switpla tumas olsem hani i kapsait niupla tru long sait blong diwai. Bai mi hamamas moa yet na nomoa bihainim snek nem blong em, rong.

Insaan Insaan Hauta Hai
Kalaa , Gora , Peela ya Sawla.

Insaan Insaan Ko Hi Maarta Hai
Dhan, Kapda , Kaam Ya Audaa.

Insaan Insaan Hi Reh Jaata Hai.
Waqt , Aqaal , Jagaah Ya Saubaat

Insaan Insaan Tau Nahi Bantaa
Gadddar, Kaatil , Na Farmaan Ya Jhoota.

Insaan Insaan Hau Hauta Hai
Waqt Bhi Badaal Jaayi Woh Nahi Badlai Ga

Woh Zindagi Bhi Kya Hai Jismai
  Mehnaat Aur Dukh Na Hau.

Woh Zindagi Bhi Kya Hai Jismai
Aaassu Aur Dard Na Hau.

Woh Zindagi Bhi Kya Hai Jissmai
Tum Hi Na Hau.

Roshni mai Jaanai  Sai
Roshan Nahi Hau Jaata Hai.

Ya Khuda.  Yeh Kaisee Hai Yeh Mauziza.
Barsaat kai woh Paak Khatrai
Yeh Pyaasi Zaameen Par Girtai.
Khuch Talau Mai
Khuch Dariya Mai
Khuch Nadi Mai
Aur Khuch Gutter Mai.
Paani Ki Paakeezaa Mai
Yeah Kaisai Tabdelee Aaati Hai.  
Khuch Paak Rehtai Hai
Aur Khuch Na Paak Hau Jaati Hai.

There was Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky V
I loved you when I met you
So plump and perfectly tanned
You brought me great joy
Even when I abused you
A perfect example of naturegrace
I took a knife and made you into
A friend I could cherish
But it wasn’t meant to be
I remember that day I picked you up
With a shovel and threw you into oblivion
Alas poor Edward the 5th

Then there was Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky VI
I loved you so much
How your soul reflected blue green
As we moved together
Faster than life
You stood by my side in the beginning of
One of my greatest learned skills
You saw me fail 3 times
But succeed the 4th
You traveled with me to the border of Florida
For a bonsai tree
And back again
Where we saw annoying gang of cervidae
You yelled at them to leave
They ignored you
And I waited with you until they finally left
I was also there when you finally met your end
On the side of I-65 N
I mourned you
Imagining paean & dirge hymns for the love I felt for you
Then moved on to Death
Then Larry
Then Windrider
Alas poor Edward the 6th
So special that there never was an Edward the 7th

At her husband's behest, a young Frau
Took son to a rabbi with know-hau.
When she ventured to ask
Concerning the task,
He said, "Meine Frau, shouldn't be long nau."

Ai Adam Ki Aulaad.
Tu Kaun Hai ?
Jau Itna Akkad Tha Hai Tu ?
Apni Maal Par
Ya Apni Hasiyaaat  Par
Ya Apni Hunaar Par

Tujhe Lagta hai ki Jau Khuch Hai
Woh Terai Wajai Sai hai ?
Itna Ghamand Kyu ?
Jabki Tujhai Yeah Maluum Hai
Ki Sab Khuch Apnai Rab Kai Wajai Sai hai.  


Phir bhi Tum “I” ya “We”
itnai Aasani sai laga daita hau.
Jaisai Tujhai Khuch Malum Nahi Hai.

No ka manawa hope
Noho me ka hau’oli
I ka manawa?
No Keia La, No Keia Po, A Mau Loa

after a long shift at Fulham (Craven Cottage): well... obviously
it was going to be a longer shift than usual...
we were readying ourselves for a pitch-invasion...
since... if Fulham won... they would become secured
promotion to the Premier League...
i asked to be moved inside: third time...
   all the prior shifts in Bishop's Park were: one big
joke / yawn... nothing to do...
                                    absolutely nothing... nada -
            ei mitään
at least inside the stadium i could do something useful...
first on the turnstiles... then on the seg-line...
then... moved to the front... facing the crowd...
obviously i was picked to move around a bit because
i can sometimes look intimidating if i want...
not that i really want to... but Fulham has a different
atmosphere to West Ham...
mind you... whatever the stereotypes... western Londoners
are slobs... they have no fashion sense...
honest to god... eastern Londoners have so much
more dress sense! esp. the men...
   i won't mention the women either side of the fence...
but... east London men: well... the ones that come
to football matches are... proper ******* lads...
    prim...
                       back to the turnstiles: paired up with
this Muslim kid... for a while he thought i was Muslim
too... like those Muslim propagandists on Edgware Road
trying to make me into a proselyte thought
i was German... backwards and forwards...
so what time do you break fast...
   you still break the fast in the classical way with water
and dates? he looked bemused since
in the turnstiles opposite us... the "ummah" breaks
fast with an entire ******* meal... my guess... Somalis...
he even asked me for a favour:
can i pray in this turnstile shack... you know where
east is?
           i don't mind but... we're opening in like 5 minutes:
and i'm pretty sure your prayer is not as quick
and pointless as our father... which only good children
get up to before going to bed... in Catholic circles...
at least: until they become... well apostates...
so he asked: you're fasting to? it was the beard...
the full beard and moustache... ergo i must be a Muslim...
and not an urban hipster... well: no long hair done up
in a Shiva "jatadhara" - but not dreaded / matted...
oh no... i fast for a non-religious reason...
   i like fasting: it makes you more concentrated...
you learn that by fasting you can train yourself to hunger
something that transcends a hunger for food...
me... when i fast... i hunger for the eyes of women
to look at me... literally: hungry like a wolf...
          i hunger for human interaction: but Fulham is
not a friendly crowd... high-brow... depends...
            - and i truly don't know how Charles Bukowski
wrote about the drudgery of work...
           i must have spent too much time in my ivory tower
in my twenties... raving mad...
to now find myself... happily working... after all:
only a day prior i was doing some hardening...
right now... i count... 9 trees that i planted in my garden...
so far: the first... a plum tree... towers over me...
and each year she doesn't disappoint with her yield...
the others are just infants, but hopefully...
two years down the line... some apricots...
cherries.... morello cherries... apples... pears...
   i might not have walked in Eden... but... eh... so so...
plus the rosemary the thyme and the wild garlic that...
in the summer months... come night time after having
watered it... it smells like... marijuana...
    plus that massive eucalyptus tree at the end of it:
shame... no pandas...
               but i understand like... i don't want to say it...
but... it's sort of like.... ahem: ARBEIT MACHT FREI...
long shift today... pitch-invasion...
   some roughing up at first... then enough people took
up audacity and it was like: just let them past...
yesterday dismantling a vegetable patch...
   shifting about a tonne of soil... shovel: shove shove...
into bags and dumped into another part of the garden...
then... digging three holes for three gorgeous trees...
there... i did my green bit...
    - but not since the health of the youtube algorithm
have i been so frustrated at my once favourite
pastime of foraging for new music like a John Peel...
i once had the best-set up for finding new music i might like...
once you could appreciate youtube...
when... ahem... it was a "manosphere": or rather...
a site primarily used by men...
               before all the cat videos... before all the make-up
tutorials... it was a glorious time to find music!
now? now we're talking about looking at ***** colony
of patches of... i just don't have the words...
but... sometimes... i still get lucky...
   i got lucky today...
        there's nothing like coming back all the way from
Putney Bridge to Romford... hands shaking...
strong pain in the chest: no... it's not a heart attack...
hands shaking... if i were diabetic?
                   i haven't eaten anything all day...
   i managed to hold about 20cl of **** through all the trip...
oh god... the chicken shop is still open...
hot box... 6 spicy chicken wings... chips... five (s)quid...
eat half while waiting for the bus... hands still shaking...
eat the other half on the bus... get off the bus...
go into an alley... ****... go to a patch of grass
and wipe my hands to finish off what the tissue couldn't
accomplish... take out a cigarette and... ah...
surgeon's hands...                 blood sugar levels alright
one more... and in my memory... that one girl
in yoga pants that kept playing with her hair...
pulling her pants up... exposing her massive:
and i mean... hmm... peaches can't be as plum...
giving me the stare... she kept me going until
the shift finished...
             so i got home... and when i come home
tired: i'm *****... so... took the "holy trinity" to the throne
of thrones... took a ****: you're going to automatically
**** while your **** relaxes... and then...
the usual story... at least i'm not making an Only-Fans
account and filming myself for others...
it's there one minute... and then once the deed is
done: creative juices can start flowing...
sit down with a whiskey... or two... or three...
and try to figure out what to do with the sick algorithm...
foraging for more music...
and there is a massive underground movement of folk...
i've known about Hedningarna for some time...
best songs? tappmarschen... vargtimmen... raven...
Suomi... which... is a strange sort of what's classically
associated with Scandinavia... since the Finns are...
well... particular... Inuit... mythological in a sense
of being almost Eskimo...
        was i going to get lucky tonight?
sure as **** i was... the current algorithm is a bit like
a slot machine... you have to be patient with it...
subscribe to at least two good channels...
i can recommend: HARAKIRI DIAT
   and IN DEPTH MUSIC... those two channels have changed
the way i had to improve the use of the site
for my benefit...
we're still staying in Finland...
           but we're moving away from folk music:
going back in time to the 1980s...
with what was happening post-punk in England...
two music genres i abhor... punk... and rap...
i can't stomach them... stiff little fingers.... fair enough...
i'd sooner find myself on the "wrong end" of a stick
for liking Phil Collins like... that Bateman guy...
or U2... but... no... i can't stomach punk or rap...
it's not right for my digestion...
      but? post-punk? gothic rock? deathrock?
   sign me up... it's almost like the extension of The Cure
and Depeche Mode and Joy Division i've always been hungering
for...
   found it today...
the following rubric is the artist and a song(s)
with a translation of the song titles...

musta paraati - romanssi (romance), myrsky nousee (storm rises)
belaboris - kuolleet peilit (dead mirrors)
this one is going to be funny...
silmät - haudattu (burried)...
          but if you take the word apart?
   hau - woof... dattu - date... we start barking
on the 20th of April?!
syyskuu - susi (wolf)
        kuudes tunti - kuuntele ääniä (listen to the sounds)
kuolleet kukat - kasoittain tuhkaa (loads of ash)
hiljaa - kuume (fever)
               päät - rikoksen rytmi (crime rhythm)
liikkuvat lapset - sinut haluan (thee i want)...
                  well... i'm not a Finn...
                                 sinut halua (without the n)...
but... the basic jyst is already there: i want you...
whether that's sinut halua or sinut haluan...

i was lucky today... looking for new music...
i'm not so lucky... too many cat videos...
too many make-up tutorial videos fudging the original
thesaurus algorithm where:
music was just more accessible... but no surprises...
look at what happened to the high-street...
once upon a time men could go to a vinyl shop...
forage... find something interesting...
now? what's left?! shoe shops... clothes shops...
restaurants...
they burnt the secular church of man:
to the ground...
                i'm lucky... in Romford we still have
the last "face" of what's the HMV franchise...
it's not HMV though... there's also this one crazy
record shop in Upminster...
but... that's about it...
        you burned my ******* church to the ground...
replacing it with... **** i don't need...
that's just not cool...
            i mean come on: men are visual creatures?!
ah ha ha... yeah... when it comes to looking at women...
if there were no women involved...
to hell with painters... they're freaks...
paint over something i can blink at?! and give it up to my
memory bank?
visual creatures... men...
hmm... sure... Beethoven was such a ******* visual
creature that his love for music...
well... if it didn't drive him mad...
the gods were good to him: they just drove him deaf!
men are only visual creatures when
women are concerned... we're as ******* abstract
as you can get...
         you burned my church to the ground!
why couldn't a sacred space of men coming together
and sharing tastes and distastes still exist?
no one is going to have a conversation over buying
a ******* pair of shoes... well... who would?
but over a record album... talk talk... talk talk:
tears for fears... of **** this ****... i'm out... bailing...
even my mother mentioned this quack of a fact
joke: women just binge-watch t.v....
         i don't know how i managed to keep up
with the series Billions... probably for Chuck Rhodes...
women just ******* talk t.v. t.v. t.v.:
ask them about music? ask them... except for the popular
current crap? i count a woman interesting
if she has even the remote interest in music...
but... most women don't...
for them... listening to music: looking at inanimate
objects and imagining them vibrating is: alien...
what you could do... is... this little experiment...
tell a man to listen to some music... while looking at a rock...
hell.. a ******* mountain... but a rock is just grand...
but play him some music...
now... do the opposite... tell a woman to watch some
animate object... but... mute her hearing ability...
so... put the volume down low on something on t.v.:
and let the woman watch...
in turn... put some earphones on a man
and tell him: you're Sisyphus... watch the rock...
because: i never truly grapled with the myth...
even if a Camus tried to explain it to me...
mein gott... on my way back home...
******* spaghetti-eaters... H'americans...
apart from the accent... their bravado was just
overflowing... loud: girls more boisterous than
the boys... flesh everywhere... i could spot at least
two ******* about to show more than
the darkened flesh around the *******... the *******...
loud: drinking on public transport:
even though it's illegal: acting as if they own
the ******* place... women this **** have never
come across as... anything but appealing...
let's be honest: if i want to visit a *******:
i'll visit one... put my money on the table:
blah blah Dandy Warhol's an hour later...
but all this libido insomnia that men go through:
this overt-teasing... i'm like a horse with
eye-blinders... trot: the: ****: along...
        plus the accent is... bothersome...
       i pray that i never have to visit America...
i pray that i might, somehow get to see the glimpses
of the Kamchatka Peninsula...
            two girls quit work when i said that i dated
a Russian girl (from Novosybirsk) and that:
in the "current climate": it would be a bad idea to
date a Russian girl... that's before the Ukraine fiasco...
oh well... rumours... tremors... but still all handshakes
at the company's Reichstag...
bearded: heavy looking men... it's such a pretty
joke that all of us look tough but...
if we had to come across someone with a black belt
in judo: we'd be... ha ha... slippery pancakes!
but... but... they burned my church down...
long gone are the days best associated
with Nick Hornby's High Fidelity...
    that novel: made me...
           it's one of the few books where the film adapatation
made me want to read the book...
Stendhal's the Scarlet and the Black
was another... the Three Muskateers...

well... isn't it such a lovely comment anyone
could leave?

but the best itches, are the ones you can't scratch, no? what's that thought you haven't shared with me? - and, may i ask, are you willing to share it now? just as i''m waiting: are you bloodied and willing to... allow the leeches to drain the restraints from you? speak your mind... i feel no need to inhibit my thinking: that's how i respect the concept of free speech, if it follows the Cartesian model... res cogitans becomes res extensa: i sometimes like to revel in revealing what i think... therefore translating it as "speech": even... when entrusted with lettering... it's not speech... is it? freedom of speech is an extension of thought: no? painters can't talk for a worth of chalk or... rather: charcoal on canvas: i.e.: ****... epileptic blinking machines... eh... it's just a little distinction between how Y and I diverge... yet at the same time merge... dye... difference... i'm not even sure how to overcome this fiddly bit of the Anglo-Zunge... but there's no lisp involved...  but you're getting my grift... motive... whatever you want to call it... yeah... phi and theta... which... in English is basically: F = PH = TH... i already found this keyhole using the iota and omicron: key in: twist... hey presto... i.e. I + O = Φ / Θ = Ω i.e. the door opens... this was not borrowed from the Exploits & Opinions of Dr. Faustroll: Pataphysician by Alfred Jarry... please... don't restrain yourself... you think i could?

i only copied it for the equations... well... just this one:
I + O = Φ / Θ = Ω.

Mera Yeh Dil Ab Nazuk Hau Gaya.
Aab Aur Bardaas Nahi Kar Saka
Kabhi Teri  Khamooshi
Kabhi Teri Nafarmani.

Tajassus Sai Mai Bahaar Gaya.
Sardi Ka Maisam Sakht Thaa.
Akela Akela Paidaal Gaya.
Badan Bhi Kaap Raha Tha.

Dur Ek Aag Jalnai Dekhi.
Paas Usnai Boliyaa…

Aag Waisai Hi Thi
Bebassi Mai Ussai Chuu Liya
Ruh Jaal Gayi
Badan Tau Aisa Hi Jaalava Tha.

Ek Cheek Nikal Gayi
Wah Sai Bhaag Chala

Phir Sai Ghar Mai Dakhil Hau Gaya.
Par Jalnai Kai Daag Reh Gaya.

Woh Hawaiyai Gussai Sai Pukaar Rahi Thi Terai  Chehra Par Zulfai Leh Raha Rahi Thi

Woh Haseen Aakhai Band Hau Gayi Thi
Woh Nazuk Natnaai Phulaa Rahi Thi

Woh Nazaara Bhi Kya Thaa Bhulai Kaisai
Woh Muskaraat Bhi Dil Mai Bas Gayi

Bas Puchata Tha Yeh Ek Sawaal.  
Badan Ban Jata Ek Mashaal.

Na Dai Woh Uska Jawaab.
Bhuj Jaati Hai Woh Aftaab.  

Yeh Silsalaa Chalta Raha.
Aur Qayamat Tak Chalta Rahaiga.

Aab Baizaar Hau Gayai Hai Hum.
Zindagi Khuch Nahi hai Siwai Ghum.

Woh Hawaa  Kya Chali
Ki Zulfai Bekhaar Gayai.

Samaa Bhi Thaam Gayi
Aaakhai Bhi Naam Hau Gayi.

Students from China
          Red Pine
            ni hau

Yeh Sanjida Chera ab tu na banaaaa
Naaa jaaanai kitnai raaaz hai kya pataa

Itna pyaaar sai tu mujhe mat dekh o sanam
Ki meri dil kai dadkanai hau jayai khataam.

Ba a dole.

Ku bar mu mu wataya
Ko ma samu mu rike waya
Daga nan ma hau hanya
Hanyar gyara maraya

.subtitle: hacking hellopoetry: so you basically can't encode Mandarin, but Japanese is coolio...

you know, when you wake up,
and, you're not quiet woken up,
so you lie there,
eyes closed,
            listening to music -
still tipsy from last night's drinking,
and you enter the twilight
zone, or what i like to call
the other subconscious -
the outer-conscious?
   you know that place...
you think of several photographs
of yourself:
   like you're looking into
mirror of the present but
a mirror that also knows your past?
and you do this...
to... remember a dream...
of the night just past...
    and boom! it hits you...
i could swear that i dreamed just
the past few hours,
in terms of seconds...
that someone lit my beard...
   yep... my beard was on fire.
well... beside that,
i was trying to write the tetragrammaton
in Japanese...
  problem being,
it wouldn't be a tetragrammaton,
but a duogrammaton,
Y-W...
         ジャ     私たち
and i don't even know
   whether that's even right...
  JA                WEH
                     (watashitachi)
more like
                      ヤハウェ
                           (ya'hau~e)...
****... seems the name of the Hebrew
god is also a tetragrammaton
   in Japanese...

well...
           god exists god doesn't exist...
i'll leave the people praying,
praying...
              and i'll remain thinking
about him...
             yes, the fertility of ideas,
nouns, things,
            and it is still: mother death.

Spitfire, cruiser;
Trucks for a hau'li's longboard.
Leaning into it.

Chinese hermits
Men ask the Way

Remote and distant
Nee hau, Xie Xie

I took the train
South in Taiwan

Fo Guang Shan
From Yangmingshan

I meditate
With basketball

I disappear
That is all

A mustard seed
By the Trumpfuck Wall