"gesundheit" poems
Don't be scared to sneeze in MATH105
Blow these numbers off the page, so I can finally have an excuse to
Blow off some time with you
I want to memorize what that sneeze sounds like, unique to the individual
Each sound varies upon sneezers voice,
allergies, voice box, larynx, even personality
If that's all true, I bet even you, sneeze as **** as a mother ******
The only thing that I want more wet and slimey than the inside of your elbow,
Is the way we make love
"Oh baby, that's it!
Sneeze for me! Sneeze harder!
Sneezed like you've never sneezed
for a man before and then sneeze
harder!"
Don't EVER hold a sneeze back!
You're not only killing brain cells
But killing me as well!
I want to see what kind of tornados
you can throw when a dust storm
gets at you
What demons are you hiding,
not letting Christ expel
Don't be ashamed!
Are you scared that just you're sneeze
Will create tsunami waves of attention
If so! I'm buying a front row ticket wearing
nothing but arm floaties and a rain coat
If you get sick, kiss me with your breathe
And well get over this cold- feet together
I want to know your sneeze so when we
Are cooking dinner, you can be half way through inhale
And I'll have a tissue and the words
"Bless you"
Already trotting outta my mouth
I want to be the blessed one
To be within hearing distance
Be able to bless you back
See you come outta your shell for .237 seconds
There to catch the science of your anatomy jumping off the cliff of your nose
I want to be in the bookstore,
Reading super hero graphic novels
And hear you in your boredom two floors up at Starbucks, sneeze,
And be able to say
"YES! THATS MY MAN!!"
You hear that one Peter Parker?
Try to dodge your spidey-sense around that one!
That's a sneeze that'd make the phone booth go inside Clark Kent!
We'll have two kids, named
Gesundheit and Salud
The cat's name will be Ah-Choo
Unless you're allergic to cats
Then scratch the kids, we'll have
A cat zoo! So I can hear the symphony
Of your nostrils on the daily
If you think this poem is gross
Wait tell you see the way I sneeze
When I'm thinking of you
Mar 19, 2014
Mar 19, 2014 at 5:02 PM UTC
Prologue: People have their own sneezes and that is surely fine, but you need these top-notch instructions for a faultless sneeze. I will instruct you on the fine art of how to make everyone in the room feel badly for not saying "Bless you!" You will find the results of your new sneeze to be utterly awesome. People will enjoy hearing you sneeze and wonder how you perfected such a basic human function. You will love your "after" sneeze and wonder how you could ever live with your "before" sneeze. Be an "after" and stay an "after!"
STEP 1: Start by breathing heavily. Gasp for air, inhale deeply. Don't make your peers think you are merely snorfling. Don't make them think you're some kind of schmuck. You want to sneeze like royalty. Take in that breath and inhale proudly.
STEP 2: Rise a little, maybe even stand up, to open up the lungs.
STEP 3: Let it loose, make it loud and sneeze with gusto. Make your sneeze noticeable to otherwise oblivious teachers who only notice wrong answers and very obvious text messaging during class time. Make your sneeze a TRUE distraction.
STEP 4 : Before anyone says a thing, bless yourself as if no one is there, as if you were in your room all alone int he dark of the shadows where the sound of the bed creaking scares you half to death. Where the thing under your bed says means things to you while you try to drift off to sleep--where loneliness and death meet and...sorry. I got carried away. To recap step four, talk to yourself. Refer to suggestions below*.
STEP 5: If no one speaks, begin to cry. Moan and wail. Wonder aloud why no one takes the moment to wish you well in your time of need.
IN CONCLUSION: If none of this works to gain you attention, the blow me down and call me Sally. It's time to choose new classmates. By golly, they must be the most putrid thing any baby spit up if they don't' stop for a second and wish you a very bless-ed life from here on out.
*SUGGESTIONS BELOW:
"Achoo! Excuse me, bless me."
"Hachoooo! Gesundheit."
"Achew! Bless my soul."
Warning: Sneezes have been known to spread disease. Sneeze responsibly!
May 15, 2014
May 15, 2014 at 2:51 AM UTC
Libertad
und Freiheit
mais liberté
avec des conditions
mit Schmerzgedachte
con dolor del corazón
Das Gehirn
versteht nichts
mais le cœur, el corazón
se duele, me duele,
nous afflige
wie diese Krankheit
de la peur, de l’amour
de la vida
Finalement, la tristesse sort
und ist jetzt etwas anderes
Keine Gesundheit
pero
no es enfermedad,
no es felicidad ;
C’est ‘rien de tout’
« I’m fine, honestly »
Keine Wahrheit.
Keine Wirklichkeit.
Alles falsch,
alles klar
Je ne suis pas sûr
La tristesse
La felicidad
Die Krankheit
La vida
L’amour
Das Leben
Die Liebe
Je veux les tuer
Keine Funktion
Pas de tristesse
Pas de vie
Keine Liebe
Rien
de Rien
Nada
de nada
Nichts
von Nichts
Unglaublich.
Incroyable.
Increíble.
En pocas palabras,
tout simplement,
einfach ausgedrückt
Die Geburt und
el nacimiento y
la naissance
Est la mort
y la muerte
und der Tod
Fácil
Facile
Leicht
Mar 20, 2013
Mar 20, 2013 at 9:38 AM UTC
~for the (young) fathers~
Sunday.
An ordinary Sunday, with blue sky accoutrements.
They say, mostly sunny, with a high temperature of 75 Fahrenheit.
The children in the ever-shrinking bed shout Yay! Gesundheit!
when they hear me say Fahrenheit, ensues laughter belly originaheit!
The mother sleeps drowsily through the morning event planning,
content that as Mother’s day nears, she’ll wait for breakfast in bed,
but until then let’s all pretend she is sleeping late with three kids
decorating the plateau where their notional was celebrated+conceived.
The father reviews the day which has been quite full, even though
not yet Nine O’clock has to make an appearance. Last nights dishes
washed and shelved, breakfast made, puppy fed, hard boiled eggs peeled, muffins with Frenchified pear mermelade have magical disappeared!
His coffee needs a rehearsal reheating, but never mind, lukewarm will
be just fine, for the warmth of an ordinary exquisite Sunday suffuses
his chest, and the breathing heat of a mess of bodies roiling and rolling
is so more than sufficient, he whispers ‘thank you’ to no one in particular.
Sun May 3
May 3, 2020
May 3, 2020 at 9:51 AM UTC
with citation of Aeschylus, when Clytemnestra's ghost
enters Apollo's temple seeing himself slain among
the gorgons, wingless congregation,
the effort of matricide with hands washed in menthol
rather than water... with citation of Eumindes
everyone might unearth a pyramid of giza
as source of just divine intervention,
with zeus and the sphinx
(riddle-hound of wisdom), hades
and the cerberus (shadow-grasp of a snail's
heaving hour)....
because who'd wish to encourage
congregations of necrophilia accepted
with over-towering spectacles
of ******* rectangles high up to count
100 levels with only one room
a burial chamber later blinded to
provoke squirting sulphuric toads into motion?
as asked: where are the sneezing beasts
of gesundheit applaud that might encourage
rather than prove to be a Pharaoh's cursing?
i mean, i might just be a tourist rather than
an archaeologist, yawning admiring chiselled marble
into picasso shapes... and i might not be a grave-digger,
but then why leave a dead body with so much
treasure worthy of defending as if you were living?
Feb 29, 2016
Feb 29, 2016 at 11:25 PM UTC
We heal the sick with selflessnes
Dedicating our lives round the clock
Giving up our personal priorities
So that your little one goes back to school smilin'
Yes, we're doctors
Neither weekends nor holidays stop us
From just doin' our bit
To make the world a healthier place
We don't demand expensive comforts
Or luxuries
Just two meals a day
And probably a wee bit o sleep
And we're ready
For another big day
For another adventurous day
Yes we're doctors
Just doin' our bit
Like always.
Sep 14, 2018
Sep 14, 2018 at 3:34 PM UTC
i just want to stay up to midnight and watch the footie...
see, already, it's there, he wannabe blind man
turning phonetics upside down
using optical symbols to sing with his eyes closed
and acting out a sloth piece of a stage's curtain call for encore,
footie can be american slang for football: or ensure a bag of
flour explodes while i get scalped;
otherwise footie means football:
you know it's round enough to be kicked
rather than thrown for a touchdown...
never got the hang of it... n.f.l. means
as much to me as does excess of hair
on a cranium crop of expected hair with no beard,
and vice versa, loss of hair and a donned
beard for the plucked sucker of the 2nd ball drop...
baldy over here met elvis and in levis took
to a cattle stampede with aria: la la la lee lo lo he he
(mike jackson slam dunks a quack for the moon pond,
like it was n.b.a. anyway: walking on ice
the musical... now the encore... signature the
sound of applause);
so this married man is rebelling...watches football
till midnight, rebel...
watches the footie...
a. foot, i.e.
b. foot, e
c. foot eeh
d. footy
e. foo' tea
f. foo' tee
now you guess the accent...
cumbrian? glaswegian?
north london or brick lane? which?
a, b, c d or e or f?^
see what happens being judgemental and sober?
you get drunks doing picassos! and that's not good
not good one bit for the worth of investment in plagiarisms.
the stressor marks / diacritical marks missing in english
obviously gave us scot spelling and a welsh 1 + 1 of
a middle finger longbow stylistic for the v long
before churchill... i wanted gaelic i got trainspotting spelling...
about as relevant as catcher in the rye relevant by now...
so... don't teach accent rubrics... and you'll get a heartfelt
superiority in the former colonies, while the pigeons coo:
or simply curl the famished tongues
that were silenced for man to speak in spasms
of an electrician checking the sockets for an electric depth
of the pigeons' coo into an aqualine echo of a sneeze,
if not snorkel or a gesundheit.
^*i hate how syllable splitting into compounds
show diacritical marks all too relevant, missing.*
Jan 10, 2016
Jan 10, 2016 at 6:06 PM UTC
Gesundheit;
Just looked back over the letters I never sent
There were so many of them
I can always start but seldom finish
Not just innuendo, trust me,
I wish that it were
That would be a better problem to have
Grandfather ambled about,
In some strokes standing as still as a
Clock and waiting for me to
Wind him. I didn't just then,
Too rusted. Peered through the blinds,
Some light spilled in, I sunk further
Under the covers like Nosferatu,
Dracula, accurate.
Demon.
Eventually he left me to
My slumber again but the
Tranquility was disturbed,
****** left the lid to the coffin
Wide open.
Later I shifted about,
Slinking around different eaves,
Trying to disappear
From the frames of any
Francophilic voyeurs,
I can never find them
Though I know they're always there
Later still returning to the
Origin point of that morning
Finding grandmother now occupying
That plot where I bury and unseal and bury again
She asked if she should leave
But I assured her I'd tell her
Were that ever the case
Though I surely wouldn't:
She's sensitive like I am,
She knows all the signs from her youth abroad
Her mother alternating between
Stints of fox and hare in as
Many rapid cycles
of the phases of the moon
Tareyton smoke drifting over
The damp gardens of tea leaves
She read for prophecies always
Served to keep her steady until
They walled her up in a mattress room
Some of us aren't designed for this place
The coveted excuse of genes,
These weaknesses are inherited traits
A return call from the doctor
Too distracted to find a pen
Jul 15, 2019
Jul 15, 2019 at 4:54 PM UTC
I blew my nose the other day
I blew it really hard
imagine my amazement
twas the size of Scotland Yard
It had a mind of it's own
jumped up on a soapbox
blathering about, it's ****** rights
getting stuck on shoes, and socks
Aghast and amazed
everyone stood and stared
the rights of boogers on display
not like, any of us cared
I had to apologize
and blushed, four shades of red
picking it up, with a giant tissue
squashing it, till dead
Feb 22, 2017
Feb 22, 2017 at 1:44 PM UTC
Have some confidence,
smile a while and think of cuttin' back,
think of how hard this winter is
most places where it is winter now,
and all the houses are rubble, we see
we almost…
in some ways…
on some levels… true, we can feel
we breathe the same winds, we hold
truths self evident, by faith we found,
sheer mind fog hedge hog white horse
chase minding, hedged bets,
we'll laugh every day,
in joy, for strength,
l'chaim
peace of mind is what we stalk.
We think we pray silently.
We think we all do,
hope and wish and pray all call
fix it make it better for all, eh
liberty, completely agreed to by
most…
we must imagine the old trick,
freedom isn't free, inside the fence/
----------------
How come we to be the first generation ever
to breathe dust from Alamogordo and beyond
co incident… in the scope of what we can imagine,
Earth, as seen from Saturn via global science access.
Any where such truths are not denied by law.
How come is not the same query as why, because
words mean things, ghost
of Limbaugh. Being causal
points, peak mind share,
Superbowl .64% All eyes worth, all the value
rushed
to all the advertisers and stakeholders
on the line,
oh, you know, it could be money,
on the line…
99.36% of all attention payers, paid none.
But… stop
think 127000000 or so, simultaneously hoping
that's a lot,
to high heaven they don't choke, oh, the thing
e-feared holy hell we say some stupid blessing
sneeze gnosisnot too fine
to finally think gesundheit, so fine.
Feb 13, 2025
Feb 13, 2025 at 7:41 PM UTC