Staring at the empty bottle
Need another til I waddle
Just enough to let me forget
The day I had was complete ****
I want to quit!

Trapped in four walls,
hammered by orders and calls
until I fall and then more

I still try be strong
but when I hear all day 'you're wrong'
It makes the day too long.
I swear I just don't belong

I walk through the door of my home
around the rooms, alone I roam

greeted always by no one
left to myself to find something fun

What the **** am I doing?
Pursuing a life I want but can't get?
Misconstruing the signs I'm viewing?

I reach for another one
looking at my gun, I wonder
what a ton of fun it would be
to not have to run, or see the sun.
I'd be done! I have no son, or anyone!

Who would miss me?
I'm down on my knees
my only plea is to be free!

I may be in my prime
but I don't have time
to get up and climb out of bed
another day. I'm sick of this ****
Is it such a crime to make it quick
one click, and I'm barely a hick
in the world that kicks me when I'm down?

I dread the day ahead
but if my mother read 'he's dead'
oh the tears she would shed
Seeing my home stained red.

So I lay in bed, eyes wide.
I cried til my eyes dried
No more pride, I tried
and applied to hide
my fears and tears
from my peers
But i have no bride
I'm alone on this ride
So I'll keep drinking my beers
until the day is so unclear
That I can sleep.

I saw the hint of red and blue reflecting off the dark surrounding
Daddy scares Mommy sometimes and she screams
The neighbors don't like the noise so they call

When I turned the corner I saw more cars than usual and a van.
I ran to my home. A yellow line was blocking the door.
I ducked under it.

Mommy was still. Laying down on the floor.
She was drooling blood.
I ran up to her, I shook her, I yelled.

She was cold. Not warm like Mommy's hugs are.
She didn't open her eyes and
I couldn't feel or hear her breathe

A man I didn't know grabbed me.
I scratched his face and kicked his stomach.
He let go and I ran back to Mommy

"Mommy, I'm sorry I took candy from the jar and lied"
"I pushed a boy at school today and I'm sorry!"
"I didn't do my homework yesterday Mommy"

Why didn't she say anything?
Was she mad at me?

Two more men I didn't know grabbed me.
They took me away from my home.

"Did Daddy leave me too?"

I'm a bad kid.

I.
You are perfect!
Body created by an artist
It's so cute the way you're picky about food and
you try to be healthy and active but
you drink and smoke.
Haha, you always make me laugh!

II.
Wow, is this really happening?
We finally kissed!
You must really like me too!
You actually want to keep going?
Oh My God! You look better Naked than I imagined.
I could lay next to you like this every night.

III.
So you don't want to be with me?
Got it.
No, no, it makes sense.
Yeah, I totally understand!
I'll be fine, it's no big deal, really.
I said I really liked you, but I didn't mean it either.

IV.
I don't understand.
Where did I go wrong?
Why am I not good enough?
I don't even know what I could do different.
If I ask I seem 'desperate'
Have I done this to someone before?

While I'm so worried about who is being cruel to me and why,
I forget to look in the faces of those I've wronged.

Two ******* in my face
Flat, perky, soft--don't matter
Hide myself in ***

How can you crave me
Then never want to see me
Am I just that bad?

I fall on my face
Don't ask if I'm okay, just
pick up and hug me