"gaffs" poems
Arrrh, here we be again
at "Talk like a Pirate day"
we'll spew our gaffs and have some laughs
slappin wenches bums, while we're at play
We'll have some grog
mockin the captain's log
reading lines of sea bound times
and cabin boys, he's flogged
When the eve be ov'r
and drunken we'll awake
it's out to sea, we'll all be
nursing our headache
Our love for wenches stowed
miseries bandon'd in the hold
mainsail's set, we'll not ferget
we be pirates, young and old
Sep 19, 2018
Sep 19, 2018 at 8:55 AM UTC
[On my birthday]
At low tide like this how sheer the water is.
White, crumbling ribs of marl protrude and glare
and the boats are dry, the pilings dry as matches.
Absorbing, rather than being absorbed,
the water in the bight doesn't wet anything,
the color of the gas flame turned as low as possible.
One can smell it turning to gas; if one were Baudelaire
one could probably hear it turning to marimba music.
The little ocher dredge at work off the end of the dock
already plays the dry perfectly off-beat claves.
The birds are outsize. Pelicans crash
into this peculiar gas unnecessarily hard,
it seems to me, like pickaxes,
rarely coming up with anything to show for it,
and going off with humorous elbowings.
Black-and-white man-of-war birds soar
on impalpable drafts
and open their tails like scissors on the curves
or tense them like wishbones, till they tremble.
The frowsy sponge boats keep coming in
with the obliging air of retrievers,
bristling with jackstraw gaffs and hooks
and decorated with bobbles of sponges.
There is a fence of chicken wire along the dock
where, glinting like little plowshares,
the blue-gray shark tails are hung up to dry
for the Chinese-restaurant trade.
Some of the little white boats are still piled up
against each other, or lie on their sides, stove in,
and not yet salvaged, if they ever will be, from the last bad storm,
like torn-open, unanswered letters.
The bight is littered with old correspondences.
Click. Click. Goes the dredge,
and brings up a dripping jawful of marl.
All the untidy activity continues,
awful but cheerful.
2.8k
-Audience!
Prepare for the magic act
*Hypnotically launching attacks
upon the helpless masses*
Won't pull a rabbit from a hat,
Rather false-flaggish gaffs
Practically exposed to radioactive madness
*(Feel the hurt disappear like doves
Gloriously soaring out your ***
Hijack these hijinks
Whilst laughing maniacally
Tornado alley to the trailer-park mentality
I call this a helluva brainstorm,
High-velocity lethality
Compose yourselves
Are your brain-stems intact?
-Okay. Now
*f
o
l
l
o
w
the swing
of
my pendulous
p e n m a n s h i p
Drearily drift into dreamy trance,
While I attempt
to initialize a feat
of mass hypnotization
Enchantingly dip
into deep illusory corridors
of thoughts limitless*
(Pay no attention
to any slippage,
Mental or otherwise
It's already dripping out your ears
& the seat of your pants)
Real ****
no gimmicks!
Abracadabra
Propaganda
Extravaganza
Gaze into my crystal ball
Mouths agape in awe
While I slay and lay waste
indiscriminate to the faceless plague
Come one, come all!
Phantom sorcerer I am, conjuring
unfathomable horrors
To the collective mind
procured through sleight-of-hand
Voila!
Still with us?
Alright, hold your breath
until you finally wake up
And illuminate the bogus
Hocus pocus front
♠ ♥ ♣ ♦
Shuffle the deck,
Reset Earth's debts
In a fabulous show
of m i s d i r e c t i o n
♠ ♥ ♣ ♦
Now, Ladies & Gents!
For my final performance
With this rope,
Suspended from the throat
I am going to bulls-eye myself
In the frontal lobe
Dead-center
In front of all you people
With this
.40 caliber desert eagle!
Graciously donated by our very own NWO
(applause)
This one's sure to be mind-blowing folks.
Aug 16, 2014
Aug 16, 2014 at 5:41 AM UTC
The Trouble with Dwarfs!
Not snow white in fairy gaffs.
Bashful indiscretion.
Happy has a smiling face.
Every now and then.
Grumpy in the morning.
When alarm says up you get.
Off you have to go and play.
Snow White, well she wants sweet sleepy's head.
'Hi ** hi **
It's off to work you go.'
He said!
***** was once really ******
Till Doc he came along and moaned.
Sneezy had the sniffles.
Perhaps he was allergic.
Wanted no more fairy gaffs.
Only wanted lots of laffs!
By ladylivvi1
© 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)
Nov 12, 2013
Nov 12, 2013 at 9:21 AM UTC
Were You To Be Gone
Could I carry on
Were you to be gone
I guess I can
But do understand
The skies would be blue
But have no more color
Not driving with you
Would lose all of its wonder
Songs would be noise
Losing all of its joy
Sunshine on Leith
Sounding more like a bleat
A walk through the mill
Would only be Bill
No longer as green
A whole different scene
Those rides to nowhere
Would lose all of its flare
I’d hear no more laughs
For my driving gaffs
Going out to eat
Would just be that
No longer sharing
Just me getting fat
Could I carry on
Were you to be gone
I guess I can
Be a man with no plan
Dec 12, 2018
Dec 12, 2018 at 5:58 AM UTC
She dreams,
I demise,
She spies,
I fly.
I fall,
She laughs,
I scowl,
She gaffs.
We’d thorn,
We’d born,
We’d bend,
We’d mend,
And the grass would grow,
And the moon would throw;
When she dreams,
When I dream,
We dream,
We dream,
And dream once more.
May 31, 2016
May 31, 2016 at 12:22 AM UTC
Trump missed a step today. It's sad to see
such gaffs in a political career.
The morn dawned clear and bright. Humidity
had moved out overnight. (Precisely here
was Donald's chance.) Sweet-tweeting sparrows trilled,
bees buzzed industriously. As Nature wept
for joy dew sparkled, zephyrs fresh and mild
wafted the greenery. A sturgeon leaped.
Had Don been up, inspired he could have said:
"Were I your president I'd get my way,
o people of America, instead
of Tuesday I'd declare this Saturday!"
Then even a hard-nosed realist as myself
might vote for such a winning furry elf!
....naahhh :)
Aug 28, 2016
Aug 28, 2016 at 12:35 PM UTC
They claim to strongly stand in what they believe
to set examples for strangers, like what I once was.
And I see them with their wide smiles and hearty laughs
So I approached them only to be hurt by their gaffs.
Oh my... I forgot 'twas their kind from before.
The kind that have hurt me, used me, lied to me,
insulted me, and act plastic to me when it is done.
I'm just an example of their aformentioned fun.
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 10:03 AM UTC